My horrible addiction
October 27th 2010 01:10
Oh, its got to stop! Like all addictions its totally unstoppable though...I despair of ever finding the strength to just...Stop!
Dont get too excited ok? Its books.
YES You heard me, BOOKS!
I used to buy books quite regularly. A little here, a little there. Then I just didnt buy books for a long time.
Then, last November, I discovered Borders. I had about $70 to spend. I ended up with armfuls that added up to about $150 and said Bugger it, Im buying them anyway! And guess what? Borders had buy five books and get 40% off the LOT so it came in under budget. Well, that did it. I popped into Borders and took full advantage of that sale. Three times. I stocked up on Minette Walters (I dont particularly like crime novels but she is a GENIUS) and Richard Laymon, who is very sadly, dead now. I hadnt known. Thats what you get for mostly purchasing second hand - you dont know this stuff.
The Fourth time I went, the sale was over. I still bought too many.
On trips to the doctor, there was no Borders in sight. I discovered Dymocks had all the new Merry Gentry Novels, as well as all the new Queen Betsy novels. Damn. Every time I saw doc, I came home with four books.
I told myself, this has got to stop. You must stop. This cant go on.
And then I found myself on a bus going to the local second hand joint. They didnt even have anything I wanted! This is a sign of true addiction - despite not having anything I wanted, I spent enough to get a free canvas bag.
I had a firm talk to myself. Kleo, this is way out of hand. For years now, you have contented yourself with your not shabby collection for years. Now you have refreshed it. Stop. Please.
Then I had to go to the city to see a very expensive specialist. I very carefully avoided bookstores. Then I went to get my medicare rebate....And passed Borders....With new cash in my pocket....And I realized my loyalty card was ripe for the using. DAMN! Again, free canvas bag. For heaven's sake. I am obviously going to need help. I cant stop on my own.
I took deep breaths. I worked hard. Did not think about books.
Then I had to go out for an ultrasound. Kman said, Oo, lets check out westfields. Oh God. Theres a dymocks in there.......They have the new Merry Gentry! The New Queen Betsy! OMG! Brave New World!
By now its like, panic attack when I think of going out. I honestly dont know how to avoid bookstores anymore. Even if the budget is razor tight, market 'NO FURTHER SPENDING' still, I spend.
I thought Id be safe if I just dont deviate from my daily track. To work, and back home. No bookstores.
But next to the station is this nice little antique store. Kman says he buys my insence and herbal soap there, so we pop in there on a weekend to grab some.
Oh. My Goddess.
The back wall is a shelf of old second hand books for TWO DOLLARS EACH!!!
Hyperventilating, I pick out ten. Ones a very old copy of Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales. You know, for the baby. Of Course.
I go a few weeks more. Tell myself, thats it, you're done, NO MORE.
I find myself at the train station an hour early. Gee, how did that happen? How am I gonna kill some time.....I guess I could just take a look at the antique store....No harm in looking...I do need a bar of soap.....
$20 bucks later I have 20 little penny dreadfuls, Oh, Nightmare hall, point horror, I adore you!
I write in my accounts book in harsh capitals - NO FURTHER SPENDING! I admonish myself harshly and completely. You are finished now. Utterly. NO. MORE. BOOKS. FOR. YOU!
Then Kman says he'd like to check out the local markets. I say yeah, I can get fresh fruit and veggies really cheap. It'll be great.
A far off corner of my mind whispers, maybe there'll be books...
So we wander. Nice cheap veggies and fruit. Awesome fresh bread, very cheap. A wonderful spice stall. Huge pet section. Authentic weapons, both western swords and samurai. Kman says maybe we shouldn't have weapons in the house. I do a quick run in my mind - Kids with swords. Kids with Guns. and answer, "Ah, well, we are who we are. We'll put them up high, and if they DO get hold of them, swords are safer than guns."
We wander, not commiting ourselves to any spending. Then Kman says, "Hey, I think thats a bookstore..."
The noise of the market and Kman speaking is drowned out by the roaring in my ears, the clenching in my guts.
Oh. Holy. Hell.
The stacks are roughly 12 foot high, made of old ply wood slapped together. Books almost in alphabetical order pile in the slanted shelves, huddle beneath and stack above. Handy milk crates are scattered about to give access to the higher books. I plunge into section one, oblivious to the world.
JUDITH TARR! KIM WILKINS!! I fill my arms. Head into section two.
Oh Holy Mother Lillith.
THE FULL COLLECTION of Sheri S Teppers 'True Game' novels. Marion Zimmer Bradley. Theres too much, way too much, fantasy. Oh Gods, Im having some kind of old- paper- smell -fuelled book gasm.
I spend enough for a ten percent discount, and the owner gives me another two bucks off.
When I get home and finger over my new friends lovngly, I tell myself, here, I have the fulfillment of many years yearning. I've never seen these books for sale before - some ae undoubtedly out of print. Finally, I must be satisfied. I dont have any room left for the new books, and besides, I havnt even FINISHED reading all the ones from the last raid on the antique store.
Then, the auzzie dollar just had to buy up american didnt it? And Kman just has to have an amazon account, and say to little Kleo last week, "Anything you want to order from the states?"
More hyperventilation. I cant buy the FMA novels in Australia - they havnt been released here.
$150 later I am the proud owner of not one, but two FMA art books, Five FMA novels, a 2011 calandar, a copy of 'The little white horse' by Elizabeth Goudge and 'Changer Of days' by Alma Alexander.
I still have five penny dreadfuls left to read, from the antique store.
I still have two novels left from the markets.
Im starting 'Changer of Days' today, and I swear, I SWEAR, solemn promise, Im not going to buy any more books. At least until I finish these. I swear.
What? Dont believe me?
Dont get too excited ok? Its books.
YES You heard me, BOOKS!
I used to buy books quite regularly. A little here, a little there. Then I just didnt buy books for a long time.
Then, last November, I discovered Borders. I had about $70 to spend. I ended up with armfuls that added up to about $150 and said Bugger it, Im buying them anyway! And guess what? Borders had buy five books and get 40% off the LOT so it came in under budget. Well, that did it. I popped into Borders and took full advantage of that sale. Three times. I stocked up on Minette Walters (I dont particularly like crime novels but she is a GENIUS) and Richard Laymon, who is very sadly, dead now. I hadnt known. Thats what you get for mostly purchasing second hand - you dont know this stuff.
The Fourth time I went, the sale was over. I still bought too many.
On trips to the doctor, there was no Borders in sight. I discovered Dymocks had all the new Merry Gentry Novels, as well as all the new Queen Betsy novels. Damn. Every time I saw doc, I came home with four books.
I told myself, this has got to stop. You must stop. This cant go on.
And then I found myself on a bus going to the local second hand joint. They didnt even have anything I wanted! This is a sign of true addiction - despite not having anything I wanted, I spent enough to get a free canvas bag.
I had a firm talk to myself. Kleo, this is way out of hand. For years now, you have contented yourself with your not shabby collection for years. Now you have refreshed it. Stop. Please.
Then I had to go to the city to see a very expensive specialist. I very carefully avoided bookstores. Then I went to get my medicare rebate....And passed Borders....With new cash in my pocket....And I realized my loyalty card was ripe for the using. DAMN! Again, free canvas bag. For heaven's sake. I am obviously going to need help. I cant stop on my own.
I took deep breaths. I worked hard. Did not think about books.
Then I had to go out for an ultrasound. Kman said, Oo, lets check out westfields. Oh God. Theres a dymocks in there.......They have the new Merry Gentry! The New Queen Betsy! OMG! Brave New World!
By now its like, panic attack when I think of going out. I honestly dont know how to avoid bookstores anymore. Even if the budget is razor tight, market 'NO FURTHER SPENDING' still, I spend.
I thought Id be safe if I just dont deviate from my daily track. To work, and back home. No bookstores.
But next to the station is this nice little antique store. Kman says he buys my insence and herbal soap there, so we pop in there on a weekend to grab some.
Oh. My Goddess.
The back wall is a shelf of old second hand books for TWO DOLLARS EACH!!!
Hyperventilating, I pick out ten. Ones a very old copy of Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales. You know, for the baby. Of Course.
I go a few weeks more. Tell myself, thats it, you're done, NO MORE.
I find myself at the train station an hour early. Gee, how did that happen? How am I gonna kill some time.....I guess I could just take a look at the antique store....No harm in looking...I do need a bar of soap.....
$20 bucks later I have 20 little penny dreadfuls, Oh, Nightmare hall, point horror, I adore you!
I write in my accounts book in harsh capitals - NO FURTHER SPENDING! I admonish myself harshly and completely. You are finished now. Utterly. NO. MORE. BOOKS. FOR. YOU!
Then Kman says he'd like to check out the local markets. I say yeah, I can get fresh fruit and veggies really cheap. It'll be great.
A far off corner of my mind whispers, maybe there'll be books...
So we wander. Nice cheap veggies and fruit. Awesome fresh bread, very cheap. A wonderful spice stall. Huge pet section. Authentic weapons, both western swords and samurai. Kman says maybe we shouldn't have weapons in the house. I do a quick run in my mind - Kids with swords. Kids with Guns. and answer, "Ah, well, we are who we are. We'll put them up high, and if they DO get hold of them, swords are safer than guns."
We wander, not commiting ourselves to any spending. Then Kman says, "Hey, I think thats a bookstore..."
The noise of the market and Kman speaking is drowned out by the roaring in my ears, the clenching in my guts.
Oh. Holy. Hell.
The stacks are roughly 12 foot high, made of old ply wood slapped together. Books almost in alphabetical order pile in the slanted shelves, huddle beneath and stack above. Handy milk crates are scattered about to give access to the higher books. I plunge into section one, oblivious to the world.
JUDITH TARR! KIM WILKINS!! I fill my arms. Head into section two.
Oh Holy Mother Lillith.
THE FULL COLLECTION of Sheri S Teppers 'True Game' novels. Marion Zimmer Bradley. Theres too much, way too much, fantasy. Oh Gods, Im having some kind of old- paper- smell -fuelled book gasm.
I spend enough for a ten percent discount, and the owner gives me another two bucks off.
When I get home and finger over my new friends lovngly, I tell myself, here, I have the fulfillment of many years yearning. I've never seen these books for sale before - some ae undoubtedly out of print. Finally, I must be satisfied. I dont have any room left for the new books, and besides, I havnt even FINISHED reading all the ones from the last raid on the antique store.
Then, the auzzie dollar just had to buy up american didnt it? And Kman just has to have an amazon account, and say to little Kleo last week, "Anything you want to order from the states?"
More hyperventilation. I cant buy the FMA novels in Australia - they havnt been released here.
$150 later I am the proud owner of not one, but two FMA art books, Five FMA novels, a 2011 calandar, a copy of 'The little white horse' by Elizabeth Goudge and 'Changer Of days' by Alma Alexander.
I still have five penny dreadfuls left to read, from the antique store.
I still have two novels left from the markets.
Im starting 'Changer of Days' today, and I swear, I SWEAR, solemn promise, Im not going to buy any more books. At least until I finish these. I swear.
What? Dont believe me?
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