Correct Me....
November 17th 2008 00:58
Damn.
Ive got a busy day today. And Im going to tell you why.
Ive realized something. I have had, one of those lightbulb moments. It hapened on Saturday night. Saturday wasnt a good day. All kinds a shit went down. I had to listen to mum and Kman talk about me and "My Disability" all morning, and I got to hear gems from Kman that included "Your just not ever going to work - we need to accept that" And "You have a serious problem" Lovely.
But Saturday night a mate came round, and in the long moaning girl chat, she reminded me of...The Plan.
The Plan began when I was about 14, by the time I was 16 I was working on it. I move quickly, make decisions, execute plans, and so the plan moved along quite snappily at that point. The plan was, to write, to get published, even on a small scale, and use that writing to pay the way for the horse breeding. A combination of both on a small scale would be more than sufficent until I was getting paid regularly for novels and once a year selling a really special horse to the overseas market for upwards of $500,000.
Friend said, "K, it was always the writing with you. It wasnt horses, it wasnt art, nothing but the writing. You wrote everywhere. It was all you cared about. You used to correct our sentence structure. K....What Happened to The Plan?"
I stopped and thought about it...The Plan. What did happen to The Plan?
The Plan was, quite specifically, to start sending things out to publishers in my young years so I could have the years of rejection letters over and done with BY NOW!!! Now correct me if Im wrong, but getting published is a systematic bombardment approach where you basically attack publishing houses with your content, with or without the help of an agent, until finally someone picks it up and goes, "I'll fly it". This involves literal years of rejection letters, being told you have no mastery of the english language whatsoever, until that same person reads your work on a good day and calls it brilliant. So, when young and elastic, I planned to cop this critisim in a barrage. I did market research and planned where I was going to send my work.
Why didnt I ever send it?
To this day, I have never sent anything I have written to any kind of publication. Never, ever. When my friend heard that, she was like..."Um. Why!!!!"
I had no answer. I literally didnt know. Ive been blaming the world for not noticing my brilliance all this time, feeling the need to read and write, and Ive kept wondering why nobody notices me....When I never put anything out there for them to notice!
Ah...But of course, I started a blog didnt I? I thought that was good enough. Im out there, Im writing...People like what I read. Nice safe tiny little community....No chance of real rejection, lets face it, the internet needs writers more than we need to write...So, with a blog, I figured hey, I done it Im out there.....
No Im not. Im hiding here. I have screwed up my plan major big time. I have WASTED the last 10 or so years hiding behind my goddamn computer screen! That 10 years was for the express purpose of recieving rejection letters! So that by now, I would have constantly bombarded enough publishers that they have to say, "Christ, publish this girl. Give her a retainer of some kind - I cant take these whiny bitchy letters anymore" or, when they really piss me off, I become my own agent, go in and show up in person (as an agent) and stride in using my best sales technique and loud booming voice to inform, yes, I DO HAVE MASTERY OVER THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. PRINT THIS NOW.
So. Todays gonna be busy. Im going to do a little market research, and find 5 publications I like. Im not sure exactly what Im looking for, but Im open to ideas. I'll find a raunchy magazine for my porno poems, something dark and 'teeny' for my goth/vampire stuff. Once I have 5 publications in mind, Im going to create a small portfolio for each, a little show case, tailored to what they produce, and then IM GOING TO ACTUALLY STICK IT IN BIG ENEVELOPES AND PUT STAMPS ON IT.....And.........*Shock GASP!* POST IT TO THEM!!!!!
Why have I never done this before? So simple, so easy, to start, to try, why, why have I never done it?
I think the easy answer is, Im a writer. I cant 'hack' it! All weekend Ive been shying away from the creation of portfolios, and I told Kman last night, do not let me wuss out of this! Im already trying to. Wriggling like a little kid and moaning "No, dont wanna! Scary!" But Its the broken link, the one place my plan has failed....And its my fault.
I think I always expected someone to do it for me. Ive sent out poems, short stories or chapters for review from friends before. I think I always expected them to 'sneak' it out for me. But why? Its my plan, I knew what I had to do - I just never did it. And blogging allowed me to fool myself into thinking that I HAD done it, that everyone who was important was within the reach of this blog.
What Folly. The joke we constantly play on ourselves - bloggers are not writers - I just didnt take it seriously enough. Im sure some of my regulars - who are published already - are thinking "Jeez Kleo, I thought you were already on the rejection letter trail" but nope...I havnt even put my foot at the base of the mountain yet. Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa.....
And what is the worst that can happen? All five come back with scathing and hurtful critisim. Whats the best that can happen? Ooo...Follow me into this lovely fantasy (its not constructive but its REALLY fun!)
I send out, and within days, Im contacted by all five. They want specific articles/stories/poems completed within two weeks. I comply to all five who have promised certain rates of pay for each. Meanwhile Kman and mum slowly go insane as its not 'A Real Job' its another one of Kleos really stupid get rich quick schemes, and they have to live through it.
Except that in two weeks, every single one pays.
So. This post is penance...Again, Fuck Im doing a lot of that lately...But todays to be a big, busy day.....Publishers need to be found. Market research, adress' and preferred contact methods. Then typing up a portfolio.....Ive had this idea. What if I send two copies to each publication....One with a 'real' cover letter, stating Hi to whoever reads these things....And one thats utterly formal? Im very good at formal language, but you wouldnt believe it just reading my blog. What do you think? Annoying? Or cute?
Thats another good point. I never put the best stuff on the blog. Ever. So how can I say this is even a portfolio worth reading? How could I fool myself for so long that this was all that was needed to get noticed?
If theres one thing I do really well its get noticed. Its like my thing, my natural talent. Enough lamenting, enough making excuses - a whole weekend of lecturing myself that blogging is not writing and what am I doing.....Im blogging about it!
BYE!
Ive got a busy day today. And Im going to tell you why.
Ive realized something. I have had, one of those lightbulb moments. It hapened on Saturday night. Saturday wasnt a good day. All kinds a shit went down. I had to listen to mum and Kman talk about me and "My Disability" all morning, and I got to hear gems from Kman that included "Your just not ever going to work - we need to accept that" And "You have a serious problem" Lovely.
But Saturday night a mate came round, and in the long moaning girl chat, she reminded me of...The Plan.
The Plan began when I was about 14, by the time I was 16 I was working on it. I move quickly, make decisions, execute plans, and so the plan moved along quite snappily at that point. The plan was, to write, to get published, even on a small scale, and use that writing to pay the way for the horse breeding. A combination of both on a small scale would be more than sufficent until I was getting paid regularly for novels and once a year selling a really special horse to the overseas market for upwards of $500,000.
Friend said, "K, it was always the writing with you. It wasnt horses, it wasnt art, nothing but the writing. You wrote everywhere. It was all you cared about. You used to correct our sentence structure. K....What Happened to The Plan?"
I stopped and thought about it...The Plan. What did happen to The Plan?
The Plan was, quite specifically, to start sending things out to publishers in my young years so I could have the years of rejection letters over and done with BY NOW!!! Now correct me if Im wrong, but getting published is a systematic bombardment approach where you basically attack publishing houses with your content, with or without the help of an agent, until finally someone picks it up and goes, "I'll fly it". This involves literal years of rejection letters, being told you have no mastery of the english language whatsoever, until that same person reads your work on a good day and calls it brilliant. So, when young and elastic, I planned to cop this critisim in a barrage. I did market research and planned where I was going to send my work.
Why didnt I ever send it?
To this day, I have never sent anything I have written to any kind of publication. Never, ever. When my friend heard that, she was like..."Um. Why!!!!"
I had no answer. I literally didnt know. Ive been blaming the world for not noticing my brilliance all this time, feeling the need to read and write, and Ive kept wondering why nobody notices me....When I never put anything out there for them to notice!
Ah...But of course, I started a blog didnt I? I thought that was good enough. Im out there, Im writing...People like what I read. Nice safe tiny little community....No chance of real rejection, lets face it, the internet needs writers more than we need to write...So, with a blog, I figured hey, I done it Im out there.....
No Im not. Im hiding here. I have screwed up my plan major big time. I have WASTED the last 10 or so years hiding behind my goddamn computer screen! That 10 years was for the express purpose of recieving rejection letters! So that by now, I would have constantly bombarded enough publishers that they have to say, "Christ, publish this girl. Give her a retainer of some kind - I cant take these whiny bitchy letters anymore" or, when they really piss me off, I become my own agent, go in and show up in person (as an agent) and stride in using my best sales technique and loud booming voice to inform, yes, I DO HAVE MASTERY OVER THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. PRINT THIS NOW.
So. Todays gonna be busy. Im going to do a little market research, and find 5 publications I like. Im not sure exactly what Im looking for, but Im open to ideas. I'll find a raunchy magazine for my porno poems, something dark and 'teeny' for my goth/vampire stuff. Once I have 5 publications in mind, Im going to create a small portfolio for each, a little show case, tailored to what they produce, and then IM GOING TO ACTUALLY STICK IT IN BIG ENEVELOPES AND PUT STAMPS ON IT.....And.........*Shock GASP!* POST IT TO THEM!!!!!
Why have I never done this before? So simple, so easy, to start, to try, why, why have I never done it?
I think the easy answer is, Im a writer. I cant 'hack' it! All weekend Ive been shying away from the creation of portfolios, and I told Kman last night, do not let me wuss out of this! Im already trying to. Wriggling like a little kid and moaning "No, dont wanna! Scary!" But Its the broken link, the one place my plan has failed....And its my fault.
I think I always expected someone to do it for me. Ive sent out poems, short stories or chapters for review from friends before. I think I always expected them to 'sneak' it out for me. But why? Its my plan, I knew what I had to do - I just never did it. And blogging allowed me to fool myself into thinking that I HAD done it, that everyone who was important was within the reach of this blog.
What Folly. The joke we constantly play on ourselves - bloggers are not writers - I just didnt take it seriously enough. Im sure some of my regulars - who are published already - are thinking "Jeez Kleo, I thought you were already on the rejection letter trail" but nope...I havnt even put my foot at the base of the mountain yet. Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa.....
And what is the worst that can happen? All five come back with scathing and hurtful critisim. Whats the best that can happen? Ooo...Follow me into this lovely fantasy (its not constructive but its REALLY fun!)
I send out, and within days, Im contacted by all five. They want specific articles/stories/poems completed within two weeks. I comply to all five who have promised certain rates of pay for each. Meanwhile Kman and mum slowly go insane as its not 'A Real Job' its another one of Kleos really stupid get rich quick schemes, and they have to live through it.
Except that in two weeks, every single one pays.
So. This post is penance...Again, Fuck Im doing a lot of that lately...But todays to be a big, busy day.....Publishers need to be found. Market research, adress' and preferred contact methods. Then typing up a portfolio.....Ive had this idea. What if I send two copies to each publication....One with a 'real' cover letter, stating Hi to whoever reads these things....And one thats utterly formal? Im very good at formal language, but you wouldnt believe it just reading my blog. What do you think? Annoying? Or cute?
Thats another good point. I never put the best stuff on the blog. Ever. So how can I say this is even a portfolio worth reading? How could I fool myself for so long that this was all that was needed to get noticed?
If theres one thing I do really well its get noticed. Its like my thing, my natural talent. Enough lamenting, enough making excuses - a whole weekend of lecturing myself that blogging is not writing and what am I doing.....Im blogging about it!
BYE!
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Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Stick to the plan.
Just make sure you read publishers and agents' guidelines regarding the submission of material.
If you send unsolicited manuscripts to publishers or agents who specifically state they don't accept them, you won't even get a rejection letter. It's a waste of your time and your money.
The only examples I've ever heard of 'the bombardment' principle working in publishing is where the writer went into the publsihing house or agency in person and refused to leave.
Wear something sexy. Put the cop uniform on. Wear nothing, even. Try anything. Ride in there on a horse. Take the whole barnyard.
But in terms of sending people stuff via mail or email. You know how easy it is to ignore a person you've never met. You've been on the net long enough to know how that works.
That's about the best corrective suggestions I can come up with at the moment. You know I'd love to see your work published. And I think you'll get it published sooner if you don't waste time on pointless excercises. As with any venture, do your homework first. Don't bombard empty fields.
Certain publishers & agents will ask for things like a cover letter or a simple enquiry, or a brief synopsis etc.
Have a look at the agents & publishers' websites. See who they represent, because as you know there's a lot of people out there with the title 'publisher' or 'agent' who don't represent anyone of any note. They're probably blogging on Orble somewhere under a psuedonym. Either that or self-publishing or indulging in vanity publishing and then saying they're 'published'.
It's easy to set up a company and call it a publishing company, and print a few hundred copies of a book, and then convince amateurs they're published, but these 'companies' have no distribution or marketing arm behind them. So in essence, it's no different to self-publishing. It just gives amateurs something to boast about to people who don't know any better. Whether you vanity publish or self publish, you pay the same amount. You may as well go and photocopy your manuscript, sell one copy in the local pub and call yourself a published author.
Most major publishers won't even consider your writing unless you have an agent. So, approaching agents first is probably a better way to go in Australia (re novels).
And I could go on and on about this matter. But since I already have. I'll stop.
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
I have read so many of those in the last few hours I think I have text crawling on my eyeballs. Do you know anything about 'Writer's Literary Agency'? They claim to be a reputable publishing house, but they sell themselves way too hard. Its never a good sign. But they got a short synopsis on 'Truth' anyway.
Auzzie Penthouse now have a copy of 'hot young chick'
And Ive got about 5 pages worth of magazines accepting poetry submissions for pagan/spiritual/spells/gothic /vampire/emo......
Also 5 pages of submission guidelines for short story publications involving
sci fi/fantasy/ghost/horror/suspe nse/mystery......
If it comes to that, I have my own handcuffs. I can just cuff myself to the editor. Or, I like your other idea. Both Zayfir and Magnus have no objection to going upstairs or lifts - Zayfir strongly resembles a mad rino right now. I could just set him loose in there and make it clear he stays until I have a cheque.
Yeah, OUCH. Done alot of that over the last few hours...Even been right through the auzzie authors association pages....I have found one, ONE publisher accepting submissions that looks half legit. Its Giramondo Publishing, based in Sydney.
Its my big dream...*sigh* to be published by Harper Collins. I went to their site after seeing the 'writers literary agency' site, and after pages and pages of hard sell, we are so great advertising I get to Harper Collins and it just says one thing, and one thing only in submission guidelines.
"We do not accept unsolicited content"
Hmm.
But its about time I sent something...Somewhere. It was like a ton of bricks, knife in the chest, when my friend asked me, "Whaddya mean youve never sent anything out?"
Cant win it if ya aint in it.
But I know the why of it...This is so much hard work! Deciding where to send it, going through submission guidelines and publications, choosing which pieces to send, then getting the pieces polished and actually sent...Why do I find it more frightening than anything Ive ever done?
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
The Writer's Literary Agency? Formerly the NY Literary Agency. Forget it. They get their money from what I'd term non-independent 'independent' manuscript appraisals.
I'm not sure Giramondo is for you.
Stick to that dream. They'll accept your manuscript if you get an agent.
So, acquiring a Harper-Collins-friendly agent would be the go.
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
One of the ones I looked at yesterday...Might have been Allen and Unwin, but Im not sure, had Sarah Douglass as one of their writers. She's definitely with Harper Collins now, and I know she had an agent to start with. I cant afford an agent. Unless the sex industry decides it wants me....Thats really good for the confidence by the way, when the ADULT industry says they arent interested!
Before I send out to Harper, I have to have something decent to send. I dont see 'Truth' as something they would go for, I really dont have a novel finished...But that could just be the writer talking. You know. Nothing is ever finished.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
You don't pay for an agent. They just take a comission on your published works. Just as you get a comission from the publisher.
The writer's fee as a percentage of the book's retail price isn't huge. Around 10%. (So let's say $2 if the book retails for $20). But the publishers foot the printing, marketing and distribution costs.
So it's really all about book sales. $2 for every book sold starts to look good if your book sells 100,000 copies.
Always keep in mind how much it would cost you to print 100,000 books, market them, then distribute them independently of a major publisher.
I say, leave the writer to do what the writer does best. Write. And leave the publishers and agents to do what they do best. Represent you, market you, distribute and sell your books.
I think we might have discussed this before, but ... Pick your favourite work, and work exclusively on that with a view to getting it to Harper Collins via an agent.
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
I didnt know agents would work on that basis - I thought they had to be paid. Look at that, learning already.
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
How do you go about getting an agent?
Tracy
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
beats me. Im flying to finish my manuscript, so Ive got something to sell!
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life