Longing...
April 7th 2008 00:53
Whenever I wake, wether its a morning, afternoon or evening, Im a little surprised. Then disappionted. Its as if, when asleep, the ancient woman in me comes to the fore, and no matter what Ive been dreaming about, in those magical moments between sleep and waking, she resets reality to a point that leaves me completely disoriented...
Im dazzled by electric lights, mystified by the smooth glass windows. Water that flows through plumbing to spill delicately into sinks is like a form of magic and turning on the electric kettle seems like some kind of sin. Quickly the ancient woman withdraws and leaves the modern girl floundering there, but her legacy remains.
Its like I awake every morning expecting.....Hoping....To be back in time. So often, especially when faced with mighty, tall jaws of concrete and the stench of the city I feel cheated and confused, like, this trip aint what I paid for! This is not the world I remember.
The world I remember did not have mysterious 'work places' where you are required to Look Busy for a period of 8 hours. It did not have running water, electricity or fluorescent lights. It did not have flawless glass windows, glaring traffic lights or clacking trains. Most important, it did not have so many people!
To me, the most frightening thing, THE most frightening thing, is the amount of people crawling the Earth's surface. I feel like there is no where left on her skin that is not crawling with that vermin that likes to call itself 'humanity' and tries to prove daily how splendiferous it is.
Theres an ad on TV right now that advertises super and all that jaz. One of them shows two different women in what looks like exactly the same apartment. The decor is slightly different, the women are slightly different and their dress is different. The scene shows them walking into the house and putting the exact same eco bags (mixed with plastic) on their counter and opening their mail.
One day, watching this ad, the thought struck me - wait, this aint fantasy, something created - THIS IS REAL!! There really are apartments exactly the same like that, with just that slightly different decor, and at the same time each day theres a woman arriving home in each one, so unbelievably similar and yet that slight bit different.
So the chain of thought continued - how individuality is like splitting hairs now that the population is in overload, and I got to thinking about MILLIONS and BILLIONS of people.....And I was completely wigged out. I had to stop it right then and there and put it back in the mind trick category.
I have to mind trick myself all the time - flying is one. I love to fly but still, even after doing it, dont entirely believe the plane is getting into the air. I get on and enclose myself in a little Kleo bubble that means I get to the other end without one of those hunks of metal ever getting off the tarmac. I mind trick for meat too - like Homer says to Lisa - " Get a hold of yourself Lisa - this is lamb, not A lamb".
So when I go to the city and see all those same apartments.....Its not like I think they're empty. I just try not to notice them like I try not to notice the ocean of humanity breathing my air and sucking the Earth's life force and never once saying thankyou. I closet myself at home and hate the cars that crawl past on the street - who the fuck do you think you are, making noise near me? The trains nearby are like a personal affront - when I lived in the city I was kept awake all night by the pedestrian walk lights beeping. Mysteriously, at about 2am, when no cars were about, you'd get someone hit the button and change the tone. Why?....
Oh, dont get me wrong, I love my laptop, if Im going to live in the modern world at least I have toys to keep me occupied. But I dont think that dissapointment will ever go away - I wake up expecting to see empty green feilds peppered with my horses, cows and sheep, expecting to find my dear ducks consorting with the chickens, and to have nothing to do all day but milk and skin and weave and spin......Not to mention tilling the fields and harvesting and cooking. What I actually get is a modern world constructed of so many worlds it looks to me like a paint splatter. The pressure of billions of minds, all wishing and wanting and praying is too heavy for this old priestess.......Never mind Im supposed to really, really want to go and find myself a 'job' in a sterile and flimsy environment, under more pressure from petty minds, so I can earn a dollar, buy overpriced goods I could make myself if the land itself (and its maintenance) wasnt overpriced as well, all to push the monster of consumerisim....The moster of consumerisim bids us procreate, reproduce, consume, consume, CONSUME!!!!!!
Until there is nothing left of us or the earth.
When flying in over sydney and seeing the sprawl of humanity I was sickened. I have said it before and I shall say it again - A smart species does not do this. If I was managing humanity as a farm of animals I would expect to lose over 50% in the long term simply because the climate is unstable. I would be making major changes now.
But are we?
A lot of the eco warriors are saying yes, but I dont actually believe that to be true. I think the governments of respective nations have noticed that people want change and thus have advertised globally that they 'are making changes' when in actual fact, nothing at all is being done, and the marketing for 'eco friendly' has become another tool for the monster of consumerisim! Havnt you noticed? Look around.
Im longing for the old days, the simple days, when the earth may not have been number one in our minds, but we understood back then it wasnt good to hurt it. When you had to travel for days to get to a market and the idea of creating something that might pollute the air we breathe was well....Ridiculous.
Im dazzled by electric lights, mystified by the smooth glass windows. Water that flows through plumbing to spill delicately into sinks is like a form of magic and turning on the electric kettle seems like some kind of sin. Quickly the ancient woman withdraws and leaves the modern girl floundering there, but her legacy remains.
Its like I awake every morning expecting.....Hoping....To be back in time. So often, especially when faced with mighty, tall jaws of concrete and the stench of the city I feel cheated and confused, like, this trip aint what I paid for! This is not the world I remember.
The world I remember did not have mysterious 'work places' where you are required to Look Busy for a period of 8 hours. It did not have running water, electricity or fluorescent lights. It did not have flawless glass windows, glaring traffic lights or clacking trains. Most important, it did not have so many people!
To me, the most frightening thing, THE most frightening thing, is the amount of people crawling the Earth's surface. I feel like there is no where left on her skin that is not crawling with that vermin that likes to call itself 'humanity' and tries to prove daily how splendiferous it is.
Theres an ad on TV right now that advertises super and all that jaz. One of them shows two different women in what looks like exactly the same apartment. The decor is slightly different, the women are slightly different and their dress is different. The scene shows them walking into the house and putting the exact same eco bags (mixed with plastic) on their counter and opening their mail.
One day, watching this ad, the thought struck me - wait, this aint fantasy, something created - THIS IS REAL!! There really are apartments exactly the same like that, with just that slightly different decor, and at the same time each day theres a woman arriving home in each one, so unbelievably similar and yet that slight bit different.
So the chain of thought continued - how individuality is like splitting hairs now that the population is in overload, and I got to thinking about MILLIONS and BILLIONS of people.....And I was completely wigged out. I had to stop it right then and there and put it back in the mind trick category.
I have to mind trick myself all the time - flying is one. I love to fly but still, even after doing it, dont entirely believe the plane is getting into the air. I get on and enclose myself in a little Kleo bubble that means I get to the other end without one of those hunks of metal ever getting off the tarmac. I mind trick for meat too - like Homer says to Lisa - " Get a hold of yourself Lisa - this is lamb, not A lamb".
So when I go to the city and see all those same apartments.....Its not like I think they're empty. I just try not to notice them like I try not to notice the ocean of humanity breathing my air and sucking the Earth's life force and never once saying thankyou. I closet myself at home and hate the cars that crawl past on the street - who the fuck do you think you are, making noise near me? The trains nearby are like a personal affront - when I lived in the city I was kept awake all night by the pedestrian walk lights beeping. Mysteriously, at about 2am, when no cars were about, you'd get someone hit the button and change the tone. Why?....
Oh, dont get me wrong, I love my laptop, if Im going to live in the modern world at least I have toys to keep me occupied. But I dont think that dissapointment will ever go away - I wake up expecting to see empty green feilds peppered with my horses, cows and sheep, expecting to find my dear ducks consorting with the chickens, and to have nothing to do all day but milk and skin and weave and spin......Not to mention tilling the fields and harvesting and cooking. What I actually get is a modern world constructed of so many worlds it looks to me like a paint splatter. The pressure of billions of minds, all wishing and wanting and praying is too heavy for this old priestess.......Never mind Im supposed to really, really want to go and find myself a 'job' in a sterile and flimsy environment, under more pressure from petty minds, so I can earn a dollar, buy overpriced goods I could make myself if the land itself (and its maintenance) wasnt overpriced as well, all to push the monster of consumerisim....The moster of consumerisim bids us procreate, reproduce, consume, consume, CONSUME!!!!!!
Until there is nothing left of us or the earth.
When flying in over sydney and seeing the sprawl of humanity I was sickened. I have said it before and I shall say it again - A smart species does not do this. If I was managing humanity as a farm of animals I would expect to lose over 50% in the long term simply because the climate is unstable. I would be making major changes now.
But are we?
A lot of the eco warriors are saying yes, but I dont actually believe that to be true. I think the governments of respective nations have noticed that people want change and thus have advertised globally that they 'are making changes' when in actual fact, nothing at all is being done, and the marketing for 'eco friendly' has become another tool for the monster of consumerisim! Havnt you noticed? Look around.
Im longing for the old days, the simple days, when the earth may not have been number one in our minds, but we understood back then it wasnt good to hurt it. When you had to travel for days to get to a market and the idea of creating something that might pollute the air we breathe was well....Ridiculous.
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Comment by Louie
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
I totally hear you on that!!!!
Comment by tlcorbin
Raven
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
I expected to be VILLIFIED for that comment! I never expected anyone to actually GET that part *big bear hugs* Thanks guys!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
It's an interesting read this one Kleo.
I absolutely loathe the crappy vicious cycle we're in.
I don't know if there's too many people on this planet...but we are definitely doing things all wrong. Everywhere I turn it's one disaster after another. There's got to be a better way.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
I like this -
If you watch any species taking over territory, they do what we have done to the whole world. They cover it, they rule it and control it until nothing is left. If they cannot move on to greener pastures or steal someone else's territory they kill each other. But its the human problem to say we are not animals, therefore we do not follow this pattern.
Id like some evidence for that, cos Ive got heaps for my own side!