More Easter (Holiday) Ramblings....
March 24th 2008 15:38
Im quite sure I just cant explain how different I feel when my man is home. When he works, we try and fit the enormity of our relationship into a few short hours. When I work too, its even greater hell - the hours are even shorter, more stressed, and Im utterly unapproachable - you guys all know that.
But he's been home as long as me - he was here slumbering when I returned unexpectedly early - somehow he always manages to be in the right place at the right time. But with him home we've had spontaneous in depth conversation on all manner of topics, as well as long periods of silence while we 'do our own thing'.
....And that Thing is the Night Owl thing. We dont do it on purpose - Even though the day is usually a normal one (by that I mean an early starting one) the first night that precedes a holiday goes on forever. We do the usual thing, animals, dinner, etc, but after its done, instead of going to bed, we make coffee. I light up the room with some candles and put the animals to bed. Kman will usually immerse himself in some kind of strategy game that leaves me in mental knots trying to understand it, while I put on a movie or tv series Im into and draw and watch at the same time.
Mum says, "oh, how can you stand it!" like its something we do on purpose or merely to irritate - but I cant explain it. Ive always felt so alert - alive! at night, so if I dont have a specific reason to rise at a set time.....I just stay up as long as Im confortable. Last night that was till 5am. I was sketching. You'll see em soon. Its...2:12am now, but the post probably wont show the right time. Annyways, this is probably the last night we'll get to do 'our thing' as Kmans back at work soon...And Im into job hunting.
Rarely is it that we are both on the computer late at night though...We share a desk, an ashtray. Our eyes are free to meet and smile at one another and discuss the strangest of things...Sometimes even without speaking. Im going to miss this holiday.
Id like to mention how comforting it is to be listening to a rock radio station again...See, I love my ipod, and I love making my own playlist...But I do love radio too. You can keep tabs on the world through your radio. And, years ago, I changed from a 'pop' station, (which I preferred) to a 'rock' one....Just to be....'Cool'.
And I achieved it too. It was no small feat, let me tell you. I came from a catholic primary school - a land of knee socks and ties and church after lunch - to a public high school. I was fat, I had no friends, I clung to the library, to the teachers, as usual too weird for even the nerds. I was the 'Book Whale'. Taunted mercilessly. They laid traps for me. And I learned to use my intelligence in the most ferocious of ways......Do you know that song, 'Underpants go inside your pants'? or something like that? That part about Bill Gates getting jammed in a locker? Theres truth in that song man. But the important thing is, I made a friend - who is still my friend to this day - who was a bit tough, and way cool. She protected me, until I garnered enough 'cool' to scare em off myself.
I think the holidays attached to religion always tend to remind me of school, a little...But the rock songs are familiar, well loved, like old slippers even. So much has happened - things even I do not really believe - and then some other things happened, and Ive just gone with the flow, so much so that Ive lost form in it.....
And for the first time I really have no idea where to go next. Ooo! I did have one CRAZY hairbrained scheme, to do with Canada. Let you know about that one soon, but generally, the path feels a bit twisted, shadowed, as if its lost itself.....Quite generally, I dont like surprises....But its been a long time since The Universe surprised me. Very recently it did - in a big way - So I wouldnt be surprised if it could do it again?.....
Again, Happy Easter. I hope every one else's holiday was as blissful as mine. X
The tendrils of bark enchanted me on a perimeter check....
Id like to mention how comforting it is to be listening to a rock radio station again...See, I love my ipod, and I love making my own playlist...But I do love radio too. You can keep tabs on the world through your radio. And, years ago, I changed from a 'pop' station, (which I preferred) to a 'rock' one....Just to be....'Cool'.
And I achieved it too. It was no small feat, let me tell you. I came from a catholic primary school - a land of knee socks and ties and church after lunch - to a public high school. I was fat, I had no friends, I clung to the library, to the teachers, as usual too weird for even the nerds. I was the 'Book Whale'. Taunted mercilessly. They laid traps for me. And I learned to use my intelligence in the most ferocious of ways......Do you know that song, 'Underpants go inside your pants'? or something like that? That part about Bill Gates getting jammed in a locker? Theres truth in that song man. But the important thing is, I made a friend - who is still my friend to this day - who was a bit tough, and way cool. She protected me, until I garnered enough 'cool' to scare em off myself.
I think the holidays attached to religion always tend to remind me of school, a little...But the rock songs are familiar, well loved, like old slippers even. So much has happened - things even I do not really believe - and then some other things happened, and Ive just gone with the flow, so much so that Ive lost form in it.....
And for the first time I really have no idea where to go next. Ooo! I did have one CRAZY hairbrained scheme, to do with Canada. Let you know about that one soon, but generally, the path feels a bit twisted, shadowed, as if its lost itself.....Quite generally, I dont like surprises....But its been a long time since The Universe surprised me. Very recently it did - in a big way - So I wouldnt be surprised if it could do it again?.....
Again, Happy Easter. I hope every one else's holiday was as blissful as mine. X
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Comment by tlcorbin
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Sometimes I do this too:
I just stay up as long as Im comfortable.
It's great to have the freedom...
Tracy
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Im glad its coming across friend, even holidays are rarely so blissful.
Tracy,
Yeah, freedoms great...Pity it never lasts! Thanks for visitin.
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis