More Moving (FOR HEAVENS SAKE!!)
November 19th 2007 07:31
On Friday afternoon, I was told that the landlord wanted our land for something. That he wanted our horses moved somewhere. I cared, but I was going OUT man, do you know how often I go out? About once a year. I was going out with the Wolves from the Rocks, and I was geared up. We had the night - It was great.
Saturday morning Im awakened by Mums keening voice - Teshans off her feed, Teshans SICK!! Needing my sleep in, I asked for vitals and assessed that she could wait. When I got up(not much later) I diagnosed colic and isolated her. Something mum should have done. Saturday was a hard day. She went over 14 hours without a poop or a pee and barely any water. She was obviously in pain, and miserable, but being incredibly sensible about it.
Sunday morn, she was ok, there was a rotten crap in the corner of the yard, and I was forced out to walk the yard before Id even had a coffee or a precious morning ciggi. I actually wrote a poem on how fucking obsessive my mother is, how she LEAPS on me the second I wake up and chatters about bullshit I cant possibly understand or care about when Ive just woken up.
But, the point to the story is that the landlord has given us a few options, the best of which is to go to a new property all together, one that has stables and yards. We havnt even seen inside the house yet, but its pretty much decided, thats what we are going to do. Its what we HAVE to do.
My precious christmas budget. Mums birthday just a week before it. Yeah, I wanted to get out of here, but for fucks sake, this has just been SPRUNG on me.
And only one thing is resonating through me.
I dont want to live with mum anymore, I dont want to live with mum anymore, I dont want to live with mum.....
We discussed this at length at the old house. At the slightest mention of us moving away from her Id get a full tirade ranging from how old and feeble she was, right through to "You dont love me, you treat me like shit. No one on earth can hurt me as much as you"
Just because I want to live in a different house to my mother? COME ON! Its not a fucking crime you know. Jeez, quite a few kids do it. Its still an utter mystery why I agreed to move in with her at all.
Kman had a massive tantrum because I suggested we live in the garage. Its a nice garage. And I could lock the fucking door. I think I might just live there, and let them live together. They seem to enjoy each others company.
I just cant understand how its possibly right for shit to keep dumping on me. And you know what? The more I try, the worse it gets. When I did nothing, I was cool, everything was great except money. Now Ive got money, everything else is fucked. My head hurts and now Ive got even less time to see the doctor.
I want to move, I want it over and done with. I want Kman better(he was just diagnosed with a stomach disorder thats totally changed his diet) and I want mum out of my face.
I want the shit to stop. Please.
Saturday morning Im awakened by Mums keening voice - Teshans off her feed, Teshans SICK!! Needing my sleep in, I asked for vitals and assessed that she could wait. When I got up(not much later) I diagnosed colic and isolated her. Something mum should have done. Saturday was a hard day. She went over 14 hours without a poop or a pee and barely any water. She was obviously in pain, and miserable, but being incredibly sensible about it.
Sunday morn, she was ok, there was a rotten crap in the corner of the yard, and I was forced out to walk the yard before Id even had a coffee or a precious morning ciggi. I actually wrote a poem on how fucking obsessive my mother is, how she LEAPS on me the second I wake up and chatters about bullshit I cant possibly understand or care about when Ive just woken up.
But, the point to the story is that the landlord has given us a few options, the best of which is to go to a new property all together, one that has stables and yards. We havnt even seen inside the house yet, but its pretty much decided, thats what we are going to do. Its what we HAVE to do.
My precious christmas budget. Mums birthday just a week before it. Yeah, I wanted to get out of here, but for fucks sake, this has just been SPRUNG on me.
And only one thing is resonating through me.
I dont want to live with mum anymore, I dont want to live with mum anymore, I dont want to live with mum.....
We discussed this at length at the old house. At the slightest mention of us moving away from her Id get a full tirade ranging from how old and feeble she was, right through to "You dont love me, you treat me like shit. No one on earth can hurt me as much as you"
Just because I want to live in a different house to my mother? COME ON! Its not a fucking crime you know. Jeez, quite a few kids do it. Its still an utter mystery why I agreed to move in with her at all.
Kman had a massive tantrum because I suggested we live in the garage. Its a nice garage. And I could lock the fucking door. I think I might just live there, and let them live together. They seem to enjoy each others company.
I just cant understand how its possibly right for shit to keep dumping on me. And you know what? The more I try, the worse it gets. When I did nothing, I was cool, everything was great except money. Now Ive got money, everything else is fucked. My head hurts and now Ive got even less time to see the doctor.
I want to move, I want it over and done with. I want Kman better(he was just diagnosed with a stomach disorder thats totally changed his diet) and I want mum out of my face.
I want the shit to stop. Please.
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
But think of all the costs and the heartache and upheaval every time you move, no wonder you're all stressed out, never tackle too much too soon, this is not judgmental, this is hoping to help, I really feel for you.
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
Condolences... truly,
I was lucky, in that I was able to get away from mine, but now I have a teenager who does it. At times I feel like I've stood still, honestly, although a teenager is a little easier to "train." *lol* I'm not laughing at you, but having lived it myself, I can see the funny side (looking back)...
I guess the best thing to focus on is that now that you have asked, you will receive - that much is true - the new place sounds wonderful and I feel good things there?
I hope Teshan and Kman come good soon, it sounds like that place has a moxa on it, that is upsetting the sensitive ones ?
Lilla ...
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
I hear you hon, I sure do. We just want a small deposit saved, we estimate between 6 months to a year we will have it. The next place is going to be cheaper than this one, so we will have a greater chance of saving the money quicker. Ive looked at some great places, Buying is my goal but it cant happen tomorrow. We didnt plan to move again until we had bought a place, it just didnt work out that way! But soon, we shall. Thanks for listening dearest.
Lilla...
The biggest problem with this place is its not a HORSE property. The last inhabitants dragged cars over it endlessly....So I pick up wire, beer bottles, spark plugs...Other assorted garbage from the paddock against the main road...Then it rains and I find more. God knows what Teshan ate, Im just glad its over. This place has a peaceful feel to it, I think because it used to be a holiday house and its full of birds...Its name? 'Gunnado' and man, you feel it! We never actually 'do' anything!
We walked around the yards and stables at the other place and I was struck by the peace....Surrounded by market gardens on a dead end street....Then we walked through the house. She reached out and HUGGED me.....Been a LONG time since a house did that to me! But its a HORSE property....No one has dropped a glass, a bottle, a screw, or a piece of wire for at least the last 10 years! Ah, bliss....Only horse people understand filling your pockets up with assorted rubbish so you dont end up digging it out of a hoof! But she liked me Lilla....She spoke to me. With a property like that to work with me I can set up wards to warn me of intruders(human or animal) and set up psychic booby traps for when Im away - Teshan and Zayf make great anchors. She had a power about her, and the way she hugged me just screamed out - "FINALLY! Someone who can speak to me!"
Now. The other thing. Years ago when I first moved away from mum I remember crying in my mum in laws arms....saying "How can she say these things to me? How can she think that of me - my own mother!" lovely mum in laws answer was - " Youve been hers for so long - shes not going to let you go easily. Shes going to leave claw marks"
Somehow, instead of running with my freedom, I wandered back into her trap, bought into all her crap, so now I have to bear the claws everyday....If she had some friends, or a man, that would be something, but no, all she wants is me. Pity I dont want to listen, its not my goal to be her everything.
BUT! The new house has a darling garage as I mentioned....Which will be my room. Neither Kman nor mum will dare venture out of the house in the winter months, so hello solitude! I might even be able to write again!
Thanks for caring dear Lilla.....Good things at the new place indeed!