Newest poetry and me
July 11th 2007 04:12
Im amazed by how things have....Settled. All that I imagined when we first moved in has come to pass. From various crap over both verandas, boxes assuredly not going to fit in every damn room, animal deaths and various injuries, the house is now in order. Verandas cleared, rooms done (except for some boxes in this room Kman doesnt want to unpack) and the pace is easy. Ive even got a bit of work here and there, which is giving us luxury, and Im greatful for that. There may be a full time job coming up....One half of me wants to take it, to buy a house, get married and have babies that much sooner. The other half doesnt want to leave my darling Najara alone all day, doesnt want to leave the horses, or have to work twice as hard. Thats all up in the air.
While the ongoing headache has me going completely insane, 'Lisey's Story' has enabled me to connect with the old me. Delighted at being 25kgs lighter she skips through me, loving the new life Ive made, and reminding me, dont be afraid to play on the dark side - Its where you LIVE darlin......
Do not be surprised if you see these newly learned words in my vocabulary. SOWISA (Strap On Whenever It Seems Appropriate) Strap On (cant you figure that one out for yourself?) Blood Bool (self mutilation in order to let out bad gunky) Bad Gunky (homicidal mania) Slang it forth(that much more entertaining than 'threw it away')
So, in light of new found darkness(maybe my heads just hurting because Im going into places unused for a bit) I give unto you this offering...............
Silly piece of toast
You silly little piece of toast -
cooled off so swiftly
come inedible so jiffy
damn coveted piece of toast
Oh, have you heard the rain roar?
Like wind, like hurricane
it roars like a beast
taking in its feast
I am not afraid of the noise.....
The day is dark and unnaturally wet
and the toast goes cold
before I can begin to read
searching for a precious seed
that is mine, yet I have no right to plant....
The Piebald side! The Long boy.....
Is that not whats glimpsed, on days like today?
Why most cower, and hide
why I jeer, and chide
and play in the rain.
Sweet wings have knife tips,
they cut
razor claws lay open skin
in that, my dear, we are akin
but all she wants is toast.
Toast with butter, toast with edges crisp
cold or hot - no matter to sweet wings
Oh, woe, a predator as a housepet
Predator as a housepet
what was I thinking?
Boots thunk insistantly
upon hallway floorboards
my heart chills and stills
waitin for the thrills and spills
well, they DID say once.....
That I was abused - contused within.
Not by her not that way I dont recall
horrors such as that
you useless twat
Why do you just get dumber?
Either you dont see that nether world
Or worse, live in it
And so, tear me with communication lack
causing my reality to harshly crack
you silly bit of toast -
to get so cold. I only wanted -
comfort
never to be found by me
not me
Not while you push.....
As they keep up the relentless momentum
I feel the slide
gravel moves under feet
wind slides over cheek
Yes, some of us live with it
Some of us live with it
do not hide it, look at the face!
quickly the heart does race
As haunting ballads set my mood.....
Irritation, at you
and love, for you
as I slide.......
the voice does chide
The rain roars.
A simple note of insanity
I'll be with sweet wings there
(its where she lives)
a mother that can never be
kissed goodbye......
A hole in hide thats old but drips -
wounds are always new
I turn and face what I thought Id left
walk the weft
When inside I always knew.
Thankyou Stephen King and 'Liseys Story' for my new found inspiration.....
While the ongoing headache has me going completely insane, 'Lisey's Story' has enabled me to connect with the old me. Delighted at being 25kgs lighter she skips through me, loving the new life Ive made, and reminding me, dont be afraid to play on the dark side - Its where you LIVE darlin......
Do not be surprised if you see these newly learned words in my vocabulary. SOWISA (Strap On Whenever It Seems Appropriate) Strap On (cant you figure that one out for yourself?) Blood Bool (self mutilation in order to let out bad gunky) Bad Gunky (homicidal mania) Slang it forth(that much more entertaining than 'threw it away')
So, in light of new found darkness(maybe my heads just hurting because Im going into places unused for a bit) I give unto you this offering...............
Silly piece of toast
You silly little piece of toast -
cooled off so swiftly
come inedible so jiffy
damn coveted piece of toast
Oh, have you heard the rain roar?
Like wind, like hurricane
it roars like a beast
taking in its feast
I am not afraid of the noise.....
The day is dark and unnaturally wet
and the toast goes cold
before I can begin to read
searching for a precious seed
that is mine, yet I have no right to plant....
The Piebald side! The Long boy.....
Is that not whats glimpsed, on days like today?
Why most cower, and hide
why I jeer, and chide
and play in the rain.
Sweet wings have knife tips,
they cut
razor claws lay open skin
in that, my dear, we are akin
but all she wants is toast.
Toast with butter, toast with edges crisp
cold or hot - no matter to sweet wings
Oh, woe, a predator as a housepet
Predator as a housepet
what was I thinking?
Boots thunk insistantly
upon hallway floorboards
my heart chills and stills
waitin for the thrills and spills
well, they DID say once.....
That I was abused - contused within.
Not by her not that way I dont recall
horrors such as that
you useless twat
Why do you just get dumber?
Either you dont see that nether world
Or worse, live in it
And so, tear me with communication lack
causing my reality to harshly crack
you silly bit of toast -
to get so cold. I only wanted -
comfort
never to be found by me
not me
Not while you push.....
As they keep up the relentless momentum
I feel the slide
gravel moves under feet
wind slides over cheek
Yes, some of us live with it
Some of us live with it
do not hide it, look at the face!
quickly the heart does race
As haunting ballads set my mood.....
Irritation, at you
and love, for you
as I slide.......
the voice does chide
The rain roars.
A simple note of insanity
I'll be with sweet wings there
(its where she lives)
a mother that can never be
kissed goodbye......
A hole in hide thats old but drips -
wounds are always new
I turn and face what I thought Id left
walk the weft
When inside I always knew.
Thankyou Stephen King and 'Liseys Story' for my new found inspiration.....
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Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
life is full of risks my friend, but if you never take any, you'll never have an adventure!
I say go forth and live!
Great read....loved the poem!
Take care,
Nick
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
MS Paint Art
I'll stick to the toast with jam and butter, thanks.
When should I start packing my bag to move into the huge mansion, after I've sold my own, that is.
Only you know what that poem is about.
But, it's great to see you doing it.
katyzzz
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
I`m really happy that things are settling down and falling into place around you. It is nice when Difficulty and Spanner in the Works are playing games with someone else.
an interesting read K, as always. I particularly liked this bit:
I turn and face what I thought Id left
walk the weft
When inside I always knew.
may the dust continue to settle around you!
ash
Comment by Wendi
My favorite lines:
that is mine, yet I have no right to plant....
I"m drawn to the massochistic tendencies, the bloodletting... not on behalf of myself, but because someone I love tremendously is talking a great deal about how she relates to it. I haven't seen wounds or marks where she's partaking, but it holds an appeal for her and that's concerning. I don't understand the intrigue.
But aside from that deep topic, I do love your new styles with words, and your willingness to explore and stretch your creativity.
W
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
its a bloody government job. Which means it'll be months before I even find out if I was accepted.
Nick,
Glad you loved the poem! And if Im accepted to the job, then I can stress! Dont even know if Im into the 'first stage' yet!
Katyzzz,
I expected some confusion. Love reading your comments darl - theyre always cool.
Ash,
I spoke to soon I think
Wendi,
Im going back to my old style - screw it if no one understands it! I know what I need to say, where I need to go.
Im assuming youve done a little research on self harm tendancies and gotten completely confused? The reasons in the text books do not quite fit?
Heres Kleos word on that -
Some old souls clearly remember our 'tribal tattoos' and 'grief markings' when your hurting within, hurting as if your being cut to pieces, it seems the most natural thing in the world to mark it on the outside. I have a three pronged mark on my left ankle.....Years later we branded Magnus with the same mark! Was I spun out!
I have PLENTY of other scars - Ive learned not to go the left wrist anymore as Kman knows instantly what Ive done, but one fave place is upper right arm under the shirt. We get very sneaky....
Its an urge and a compulsion like none other. And an addiction. I have never heard ANYONE describe it quite so well as King does in this book - "The blood Bool is to let out the bad gunky"
Which means, quite simply - Cutting yourself lets out the madness!
Email or PM me anytime. Im cool talking about it.
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Everything you have said is so true. I am assuming you have experience.
Comment by Anonymous