Shade
October 3rd 2008 03:49
The Beast looked up suddenly.
She had felt the shift of ether - something was happening, or had happened....
She was in a forest. It was too warm, humid. Still, it wasnt a rainforest, the trees were standard and the vegetation was not quite that lush. Nearby, the forest opened into a grassy glade. Space, light, and birds singing. The air was perfumed with flowers but the Beast couldnt figure what kind they were. Despite the sensations of lungs drawing air and heart beating, The Beast knew...This wasnt Earth.
The ground on which she sat did not throb with Earths heartbeat, did not shudder with her great breath. No feeling of turning was evident, so the Beast concluded, she must still be in the ether.
The ether was what made the Earth so special. It was made up of her atmosphere - what humans liked to call atoms of hydrodgen and oxygen and other things that were harder to pronounce, and these bundles of energy perfectly absorbed the thoughts and desires of all its denizens and created a massive, endless, spiritual realm. In that place where clouds were birthed alchemy reigned. If the universe could be said to have a heart, it was Earth.
This representation was very like Earth....And the Beast knew Kali would have put her here for a reason.
She was in her human form, loosely cross legged. She could hear the sweet melody of water nearby. Oh, to stay here, wherever it was....It felt like ancient Greece. So empty, a time on Earth when less humans had been born. A time when all thoughts were unfettered by the myriad of others all tugging on the ether.
The Beast let memory wash over her. It was in image, but mostly in sensation. That last stint in hell had been....Trying.
Better get used to it. If you want to keep saying you deserve it, there'll be much worse when you're dead.
True. But far down inside.....She could feel something. Dark. Ugly.
She remembered her kiss with Lucifer. How in that moment, nothing had mattered but BLACK...True Black.....There had been no compassion, no wrong, no blame.....No Guilt....Just lust and sensation, power, Evil...
Something within her growled.
She closed her eyes, and sent her awareness searching. Deep, in her soul....Somewhere, an extra particle of black had been added to the scales. They were swinging wildy as she fought to balance them, regain equilibrium.
At times like this, suffering through transformation, she wondered why she didnt just slaughter her enemies, play the shit out of the Player, and wound some innocents along the way, just for fun.
"Because you know that that path is a very fast one.....You get what you want but its over before you can really enjoy it."
She opened her eyes. It was Lucifer. Way out of place in black leather and denim and sunnies. Sitting before her like some indian guru, reaching out to tenderly take her hands.
Despite all he had done to her, she smiled at him. She knew he'd been watching in Hell - He was Lucifer - and the one surprise for the Beast had been that he didnt join in himself. It must have taken great restraint. But he was evil, all his actions were expected. You dont blame a cat for killing a mouse, after all.
He rubbed her hand gently with his thumb, "Ok?" raising an eyebrow.
"Of course....Lucifer, if this is what I think it is...Whats with the setting?"
He thought a moment, and in that moment he scanned her mind to make sure he knew what she meant. Communication was so easy over here - even psychic messages got screwed up on Earth. "Ah," he answered, "No, its not the transformation you think."
"Im not going black?"
He smiled. "Kali says thats not possible,"
She thought. Pain was starting to tear her up inside - the Angel part was revolting, screaming against the extra amount of black that had been placed on the internal scale. It felt screwy, and weird, but it also felt painful, ripping, tearing....
The Angel part was growing. It was not going to allow the black to win.
"What you are doing my dear...." Lucifer paused to rub her skin with his thumb again - searching deep to hear the rending of the internal struggle - "Is creating a new shade of grey. Creation is always painful"
"So Im in between again"
Lucifer shrugged. "I dont think theres any changing that, but its pretty special...What you are. From the very beginning you have cleaved down the centre of the choice, and now that all of those who have followed your creed have filled up all of the shades of grey....You go and make a new one."
"I dont want to! I dont want this fucking responsability! I just want to be Evil!" And behind her eyes ran titilating images of sensation and violence....Blood and revenge and satisfaction....
"Look," He whispered urgently, "there is a chance, on your destiny path. Its going to get darker and darker - all the shades you create are going further towards me. Theres a chance," he squeezed her hands..."A chance."
She squeezed back. "And in the meantime?"
He shrugged, "Suffer, I guess"
The Beast felt like something infected stabbed her in her already sore heart. She couldnt help but frown. Already her mind was off creating sensation in her own private ether. Humans could always gain satisfaction there, when reality and unreality failed. Lucifer listened to her thoughts, dark and pulsing with maleavolence and lust.
"Yes, " he whispered, watching shadows run over her skin as behind her closed eyes she created and imagined...."Yes, like that.."
She had felt the shift of ether - something was happening, or had happened....
She was in a forest. It was too warm, humid. Still, it wasnt a rainforest, the trees were standard and the vegetation was not quite that lush. Nearby, the forest opened into a grassy glade. Space, light, and birds singing. The air was perfumed with flowers but the Beast couldnt figure what kind they were. Despite the sensations of lungs drawing air and heart beating, The Beast knew...This wasnt Earth.
The ground on which she sat did not throb with Earths heartbeat, did not shudder with her great breath. No feeling of turning was evident, so the Beast concluded, she must still be in the ether.
The ether was what made the Earth so special. It was made up of her atmosphere - what humans liked to call atoms of hydrodgen and oxygen and other things that were harder to pronounce, and these bundles of energy perfectly absorbed the thoughts and desires of all its denizens and created a massive, endless, spiritual realm. In that place where clouds were birthed alchemy reigned. If the universe could be said to have a heart, it was Earth.
This representation was very like Earth....And the Beast knew Kali would have put her here for a reason.
She was in her human form, loosely cross legged. She could hear the sweet melody of water nearby. Oh, to stay here, wherever it was....It felt like ancient Greece. So empty, a time on Earth when less humans had been born. A time when all thoughts were unfettered by the myriad of others all tugging on the ether.
The Beast let memory wash over her. It was in image, but mostly in sensation. That last stint in hell had been....Trying.
Better get used to it. If you want to keep saying you deserve it, there'll be much worse when you're dead.
True. But far down inside.....She could feel something. Dark. Ugly.
She remembered her kiss with Lucifer. How in that moment, nothing had mattered but BLACK...True Black.....There had been no compassion, no wrong, no blame.....No Guilt....Just lust and sensation, power, Evil...
Something within her growled.
She closed her eyes, and sent her awareness searching. Deep, in her soul....Somewhere, an extra particle of black had been added to the scales. They were swinging wildy as she fought to balance them, regain equilibrium.
At times like this, suffering through transformation, she wondered why she didnt just slaughter her enemies, play the shit out of the Player, and wound some innocents along the way, just for fun.
"Because you know that that path is a very fast one.....You get what you want but its over before you can really enjoy it."
She opened her eyes. It was Lucifer. Way out of place in black leather and denim and sunnies. Sitting before her like some indian guru, reaching out to tenderly take her hands.
Despite all he had done to her, she smiled at him. She knew he'd been watching in Hell - He was Lucifer - and the one surprise for the Beast had been that he didnt join in himself. It must have taken great restraint. But he was evil, all his actions were expected. You dont blame a cat for killing a mouse, after all.
He rubbed her hand gently with his thumb, "Ok?" raising an eyebrow.
"Of course....Lucifer, if this is what I think it is...Whats with the setting?"
He thought a moment, and in that moment he scanned her mind to make sure he knew what she meant. Communication was so easy over here - even psychic messages got screwed up on Earth. "Ah," he answered, "No, its not the transformation you think."
"Im not going black?"
He smiled. "Kali says thats not possible,"
She thought. Pain was starting to tear her up inside - the Angel part was revolting, screaming against the extra amount of black that had been placed on the internal scale. It felt screwy, and weird, but it also felt painful, ripping, tearing....
The Angel part was growing. It was not going to allow the black to win.
"What you are doing my dear...." Lucifer paused to rub her skin with his thumb again - searching deep to hear the rending of the internal struggle - "Is creating a new shade of grey. Creation is always painful"
"So Im in between again"
Lucifer shrugged. "I dont think theres any changing that, but its pretty special...What you are. From the very beginning you have cleaved down the centre of the choice, and now that all of those who have followed your creed have filled up all of the shades of grey....You go and make a new one."
"I dont want to! I dont want this fucking responsability! I just want to be Evil!" And behind her eyes ran titilating images of sensation and violence....Blood and revenge and satisfaction....
"Look," He whispered urgently, "there is a chance, on your destiny path. Its going to get darker and darker - all the shades you create are going further towards me. Theres a chance," he squeezed her hands..."A chance."
She squeezed back. "And in the meantime?"
He shrugged, "Suffer, I guess"
The Beast felt like something infected stabbed her in her already sore heart. She couldnt help but frown. Already her mind was off creating sensation in her own private ether. Humans could always gain satisfaction there, when reality and unreality failed. Lucifer listened to her thoughts, dark and pulsing with maleavolence and lust.
"Yes, " he whispered, watching shadows run over her skin as behind her closed eyes she created and imagined...."Yes, like that.."
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