The Choice
March 13th 2009 03:16
The lights were dim, even though the coffee shop had flueros.
It was late afternoon, and I had places to be. But here I was, innocent, unassuming, stopping in just cos I saw you there....I needed something. The place looked like such plastic. Like none of it was real. Ive often heard modern places described as such. That even the people were automaton, shuffling along their pre destined pathways. Almost wearing tracks in the tiled floor, the footprints are so well traveled.
But Im in here now - its all happening, as they say. No going back. I have to hurry, Ive got somewhere to be. But as I said, I needed something. And there you were. Waiting.
I take a moment. I gaze at your glitzy, tight fitting clothes. Your soft brown gaze looking back on me. You're so tempting, and you know it. You know I want you. You're so assured, so full of confidence. You know its only going to be seconds before I wrap my hands around you and press my lips to you...
But I stand there in pain. You think its indecision. Its not. My mouths watering, and yours could be too, for all I know.
I know whats good for me. I know what I have to do. And I have to do it fast - as I said, I have an appointment to keep. My throat is parched. Im staring, but thats ok. I dont think the automaton have even noticed my horrible pain yet. The fact that Im standing in the middle of the coffee shop doing a whole lot of nothing.
Ive been working so hard. I cant just blow it. Not like this, when Ive been so good. So true to my purpose. So defined in whats good for me. Choices arent always easy.
I take a deep breath, and steel myself for the act. Im going to make my decision. Im going to choose, right now. And it bloody hurts, so much. so often we say 'one wont hurt' or 'I have to be true to myself' the whole time knowing its an utter load. We see whats right and whats wrong, we just dont give a damn.
Yeah. Right and wrong. I cant let myself down, not now. Now when Im so committed. I know...How good you are. But that is not going to stop me.
With that thought in mind, I stride to the fridge, turn my back on the Dare Double Expresso and choose the Orange Juice.
Dont you know Im on a bloody health kick?
It was late afternoon, and I had places to be. But here I was, innocent, unassuming, stopping in just cos I saw you there....I needed something. The place looked like such plastic. Like none of it was real. Ive often heard modern places described as such. That even the people were automaton, shuffling along their pre destined pathways. Almost wearing tracks in the tiled floor, the footprints are so well traveled.
But Im in here now - its all happening, as they say. No going back. I have to hurry, Ive got somewhere to be. But as I said, I needed something. And there you were. Waiting.
I take a moment. I gaze at your glitzy, tight fitting clothes. Your soft brown gaze looking back on me. You're so tempting, and you know it. You know I want you. You're so assured, so full of confidence. You know its only going to be seconds before I wrap my hands around you and press my lips to you...
But I stand there in pain. You think its indecision. Its not. My mouths watering, and yours could be too, for all I know.
I know whats good for me. I know what I have to do. And I have to do it fast - as I said, I have an appointment to keep. My throat is parched. Im staring, but thats ok. I dont think the automaton have even noticed my horrible pain yet. The fact that Im standing in the middle of the coffee shop doing a whole lot of nothing.
Ive been working so hard. I cant just blow it. Not like this, when Ive been so good. So true to my purpose. So defined in whats good for me. Choices arent always easy.
I take a deep breath, and steel myself for the act. Im going to make my decision. Im going to choose, right now. And it bloody hurts, so much. so often we say 'one wont hurt' or 'I have to be true to myself' the whole time knowing its an utter load. We see whats right and whats wrong, we just dont give a damn.
Yeah. Right and wrong. I cant let myself down, not now. Now when Im so committed. I know...How good you are. But that is not going to stop me.
With that thought in mind, I stride to the fridge, turn my back on the Dare Double Expresso and choose the Orange Juice.
Dont you know Im on a bloody health kick?
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