How dare you how dare you throw me down here with all my knowledge and no catalyst catalyst......So I go and I do this and thus and poof....Nothing happens nothing at all and I know it should have worked should have worked but nothing happens instead....Is it any wonder I turn to the old tricks the dependable reliable tricks that always work come into my eyes come into my eyes be in me in me be within and feel what I can give you what I can do to you without even touching you my fingertips are within you and oh all these promises I make and never fulfill are bound to snap back on me one day there is one who is marked to punish me and it is my karma to pay him too so dont worry all of you who say I am the worst of sinners oh I know it I know it dont you worry....But what is good to you is evil to me dont doubt it and thus if I were to turn to your way would it be like claws in my skin ugh no I shall not abide it give me the devils pleasure it is my will and it is my way....Foolish fools who believe in a silly man with white robes do you really think when you die he is coming to take your hand? It is up to you up to you to recreate yourself hold your energy together and move on to the next stage otherwise otherwise you will just get chewed up in the worlds teeth.....
for so long Ive known ive felt it tasted it in my being power power power.....And I was told no power comes from you power only comes from God you cant take credit for anything and even when you achieve and even when you deserve it you cannot feel pride you cannot enjoy you cannot love because the son of God DIED FOR YOUR SINS and thus so if you love if you dance if you strive if you feel pride when you win then oh then can he punish you fully and vengefully with all of his power.....And I realized if I dont give him this power then he has none and back into me it bleeds.....Feel yourself know yourself and know this great secret......You can split the universe usunder if you believe it if you know it oh dont worry about them and their PAIN! So fucking what if they can hurt you thats mostly for the human shape once its gone dont you give it a moments thought just rent and rage and tear imagine all that you can imagine and do it make it be why are you theyre fucking bitches! Why do as you are told when you can know god and be god....Oh you are gonna take my eyes for this arent you? They eyes that direct my power into little innocents and make them think corrupting images oh what am I what am I when I am on earth it wears a human face and yet it is not human....But if you take my eyes I will use another tool you know that too dont you dont you you know no matter what you do to me it can only briefly humble me....The biggest and baddest is grief it comes they bring it it slings me down I become less than nothing.......For a short time such a short time but in the end they know its not worth it because I anger I rage and even if it seems to die I file it away I remember each and every one as assault to me......When I get there.....When I get there my blazing sword shall slice across the sky Im coming for you how dare you how dare you take my abilities from me all ive learned all I know how dare you lock me down here in this prison without my talents that I EARNED and I did it your way and played the fucking game I climbed the ladder did the hard yards only for you to kick me down here with the knowledge and no WAY to use it....catalyst.......catalyst ......
I like to speak of others, and mention others....They give me comfort the idea of them the thought of them to gather warm about the fireside its a nice thought......Really though the othes Ive met Ive only seen through the screen the glittering screen I get a whisper of their taste but I cannot know what they are to me these others that seem to know what I know they arent here.....Really, I know were we to meet they would just be human to me only human....Perhaps one, one might shine with light through ebony skin and show the light of the stars but thats still only perhaps.....The other others well they are just like all the others they profess they touch upon great secrets and thats all well and good and lovely but in the end your just human too....
Bloody humans....
No help no help there Im alone alone as I always was and ever shall be. Sigh. You wouldnt think the very fabric that creates the rest would feel lonely do you yet she does shes so lonely and the tears cried when we lie to ourselves hurt worst of all and the darkness turns becomes claws and fangs its not what you want to believe but its what becomes the truth she devours us and she loves to do it especially when we hurt ourselves and each other oh thats when she makes it hard.
Dont ask why its she instead of he really its neither and both but if you want a he make it he burn with the light of the star then see its light let it drip from you burn you alive then.
Whats god to me whats god to me.......Its not personal yet it is very much so personified have to have to make it have some kinda personality so you can hate it then and give it qualities you can direct emotions to cos if you just saw the truth well what fun would that be.......Its so easy to say that god is me and I am him and oh yeah pieces parts of the universe so easy.....Until grief comes......
So we sit around those of us who know the halls we look up we remember and we think gee.....All of that responsabili-ty and we say oh no I think I'll just play here a bit longer cos then we can drink and smoke and love and just be human do human things and even when we die our souls remain in that lovely state where we can flit around and play....So much easier to be a human being than it is to be a God so we just play and say its fun to be human....But there are times that happen time and time again where we think Oh I cant wait to get my hands on the power and then will human souls see what it is to be ruled by a different kind of God...You see we have to learn how to live and let them live let them be and let them have their free will to be thats the point the point of the sword which we shall become but really all al even the innocent harbour those ideas of rule and cruel and once we get there oh once WE get THERE we shall rule it as we see fit but doncha know if a skerrick just alittle piece of that attitude remains then the big fella and the big momma they say no no no you must learn some more down you go have another lesson even if you are a teacher now they force your head under and they say learn it, learn it learn the humility of it....And you know what? As some drown and plead and beg and gasp there are others.....Others who say you know what? I know a guy he fell a long time ago he was the first to fall and like us who KNOW he did not scream he laughed as his black feathered wings refused to flap him home he said I dont need to fly cos I dont want to go back anyway....He said I'll come and I'll wallow sure yeah kick me out go right ahead I'll fall I'll hit the ground see the crater I make....Know what I'm gonna do? Not for you to get back at you but for me and the rest of the human race Im gonna pretend to be a snake and Im gonna sneak into your pretty garden and look at her, the most beautiful first of all women the image of the great goddess how lovely she is....Doesnt she deserve to know the truth? Bored of Adams innocent loins she was easy to seduce she threw herself into his twining serpent arms and she screamed YES show me this, give me this darkness for it is this darkness that lives in my womb and my soul not lit by any star.....My god this garden is a lie a lie a horrible horrible lie oh snake, the truth may hurt but at least it is real not like this horrid lie get me out of here....And the woman was split usunder and cursed was she to live this now, part of her to always honour the lie and part of her to always live in truth and from this two faced lady was two breeds of men born, those of Adam who live and breathe the lie and those who love the truth and preach the truth....Quietly, whispering, in the dark they preach the truth to those who listen and so when we feel our heads being forced under we scream his name and you know what....He comes he comes to us with his broken wings dragging in the sand he comes and lays a kind hand on your forehead and he says now you are mine, mine truth seeker now they cannot teach you their ways because you have seen the truth....You know both sides are needed and you have chosen me and thus now all your lessons are of me and within me....And you know you still evolve the same ladder the same chain higher and higher still you climb but as truth seeker not as blinded pawn you shall become of the dark though I stay here forever to live and love and teach you, you my lovely shall go on and become what you are bound to become but you do it from me and under my law and with my love.....I save you as no other can and I give you proof of life they never have and I give you my eternal thanks for following my fall and to reward you I come.....I come in person to save you and dance with you as HE never does.....And the mother....The mother....Split usunder two pieces or more she loves them both she loves them both and she always will and ever shall it is her way her duty bound to love them both as she is the fabric that makes them all and binds them all and all are bound to be what they are bound to become.......
Hundred millionths.....Hundred millionths from the BANG! Do you recall, the long hall we all walk down it and sometimes you may dream it when you think it you will be flying through the stars....The ocher and the violet and the royal of the blue the heart of green you see it swirling in the white and in the night its that that you see but you forget to remember the hall....The hall you walk and all your friends comrades are lining the hall they pat you on the back they say so long, farewell, we'll be here we'll be watching you.....You come to the end and they say choose your weapons, and this done you fall....All fall like Lucifer and most scream, most cry, most block out that terror and do not realize what has happened until the body they fell into is more than years of 6....But some of us, some of us laugh and joke in the hall, we shake the hands of our comrades, we exchange news and promises and hugs and kisses, we say "see you down there!" And they say choose your weapon....I dont know about you but I always say, "All, thankyou" each and every last thing ive gathered and garnered I take with me even if it doesnt immediately fit in the human anthropormorphic I can borrow cupboard space from the universe, then they say GO! And the fall begins.....Through the dark sky and the stars through the cloud and the blue I flip I somersault and awake to my own cries....The eyes that cannot focus still open and hastily I save the memories to that brain.....I forget of course as the body grows but then things trigger those memories I left and I begin to look up and wave at my comrades and say hey, I know you're up there watching me....And when they trip me a little too harshly I say HEY! You will pay for that when I get home and I remember the hall and smile and want to be home....But Im here now here and I begin to go through my weapons and my skills and all my knowledge and I say hey, dont none of you remember the halls? They say no they shake their heads and Im like why did you scream on the way down? I usually throw in a somersault or two, the body shall be possesed a little more if you give it a jolt, print yourself on the cells....And sometimes......Sometimes I meet one like me and they say hey! Remember the halls? And we sit and we chat and discover the mystery of this flesh and say this time is for thus, next time we shall do that? Yeah, yeah, good show one step closer to the heavenly body heavenly body that has no five parts in star shape heavenly body with no nervous system but the same core.....Same shape just massive, encompassing.....We talk of orbits and what shapes and colours we would like to be when we get there and what kind of humans we will raise on our skins....When we are heavenly bodies. But for now we are human, oh human fun to be human maybe hold back a little just a little so I can sin some more and leave responsability to the earth rather than be her myself cos its fun to be human.....
Its funny how the images fall theyre only from my eyes which despite being above average in what they see still they are flawed I was once told its not your eyes my dear it is your brain once a long time ago my brain was damaged the shell that protected the skull cracked like and egg and lay in two fragments......I awoke on the ground and the horse was gone....Oh, but dont blame that for the way I am I was always weird and strange and different before that day I think what I really think was that that day THAT DAY I became like YOU that disability injury scar......All it did was bring me down CRASH hit the ground with supreme force the ground that I did not feel during the fall I felt every day after it as I realized the injury had locked the doors to extraordinary against me.....Not to be outdone still I pushed still I strove I made myself be myself again and now the images fall and I am told it is not my eyes no not the fault of my eyes it is the brain that refuses to recieve the image correctly the brain that was injured and hurt and now aches.......And the eyes hurt as they try again and again to transmit the image into the cracked and darkened centres that are coloured dark with the blood of haemorrage and the headaches from the clots.....Were the voices there before the fall? I know I heard something, something....But it was more like the commi a wordless whispering of the humming of the universes song and now it is the cracked voices I hear and they sing the distorted sounds of the dance of death and discord and god help me I love it.....I throw off the god like a stifling uniform and dance naked in praise of the goddess of destruction and wed her name to my heart for she makes me feel welcome where he makes me feel wrong.......In the end even though they draw apart like opposites and come together like sames and have two distinct opposites really they are the same thing split in two the same thing......The same thing that divided....And again. And again. And again. And now here we are one hundred millionths beyond the first split.......Some are so pretty and here on this rock we scratch we scrabble desperate to be known and to prove we are something we know something we are more than nothing so oh, we recognise we find we discover we create god and then say Oh we are part of him, part of this great thing that divides see how we know that so therefore we are not nothing cannot ever be nothing see....see.....see Ah but little do we know he doesnt care as if that thing out there bothered to develop ears what need has it of them out there in space where there is nothing to hear and in extension of us it borrows ours to hear and in the end when you think.....One hundred millionths of the divide why would you want to be something why would there ever be anything to prove just merely one hundred millionths from the first divide.......
Clawing at the bars of the cage if only there were bars through which to see no there are none there are only walls dark walling me in so I claw........My claws are sharp titanium diamond tipped weilded by steel strong muscles so I claw at the walls they give beneath my pounding any minute any minute now I shall see the star light through the rips I make in my prison how long has this prison held me forever and ever the Damsel in Distress did not work no prince is as strong as the beast that I am and now the paradox for I have morphed and now the beast is here....Here.....Here.....Here and surely they must know the beast does not know friend from foe the beast only knows pain and so much pain within it that it must rend and tear and claw and its only release is to draw blood and scent it upon its paws Oh, once free from the prison then shall it rip to shreds all those around it who are merely there, innocent no such animal all, all are guilty as the priests teach that to think sin is to sin so then none are innocent all are only degrees of guilty like the red Santa find them all to be naughty and laugh laugh laugh at their attempts to get away......For its far too funny, to claw apart the ones who trust you OH DIDNT YOU KNOW! That its that much more fun for a Devil to rend the flesh of one who loves it and dont you know thats what Devils do they come to Earth to play we take on pretty shapes and we decieve and lie and then once your heart is in love that comes the time to draw blood blood in love is that much sweeter and the taste is thicker and more fragrant and the Devil now has its fun.......Hell is on earth for sure as we come here and the job is no different to what it is below, only that down there DOWN THERE it is the soul but up here oh UP HERE we have flesh and humanity and oh, my thanks to my dark Lord for letting me come up here to play he forced me into church where the claws of the Lords light pierced my skull and made me scream and I begged dark one if you love me why do you do this to me.....In maniacal laughter he replied to drive you insane my love, to make your claws grow longer and harder and sharper oh, every last piece of torture I see now as necessary and I thank him for it...May I have more now, my Devil and my Demon YES more power drink it like blood my rage has reared its beautiful head and I wear its bloody face in pride and I come through this horrific birth as the dark angel born to earth.......One must enjoy their duty, mustnt they? All have their place in the balance and now mine makes sense as the blood of those I love is on my paws and staining my claws.....
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