Some downright sloppy work and a poetry double dose
July 4th 2007 02:28
The weather must be commented on.
Yesterday, when I got up before dawn to feed the horses before work, I saw red streaks in the sky. "Red sky in morning - shepards warning" I thought. I quite often see the "shepards delight" of a red sky at night, but seldom the red sky in morning. Since the weather was predicted to be fairly mild, I was wondering.
Home time last night, feeding the horses in the dark, still no weather. So I was wondering....The sky is never wrong, the weather man often is. I knew I was right, I just didnt know how it would manifest.
I woke up this morning(that was a hard thing but I'll get to that) and it seemed blue and mild. The 'light shower' predicted seemed non existant. It wasnt till I was on my way to the house that the wind picked up....
The wind, the wind.....Have you heard of Thowra, the Silver Stallion......Who is the wind.....No coincidence that I named my Silver Stallion ZAYFIR......Though Ive only just realized he is the wind.....Surely as those poetic hooves that beat over the Ramshead range.....
And now is roaring ferociously over us.... Assaulting, angry, it charges over us, twisting the trees....Clouds have whipped themselves into a myriad of shades, white, cream, grey and black bellied, they mix together, a couldron pot, against the sharp electric blue of storm backdrop.....They stir each other at the winds insistance, cooking up some awful yet exciting storm....
Zayfir runs with his namesake, urging the other horses....."Come! Come! There is nothing to fear, run with me in the strength of the storm....Come my herd and be immersed in me....I am almost of age when I may claim my birthright and all wind and all storms sing only for me!"
I cannot enjoy it. My fingers are starting to shake from the pain. Since saturday Ive had the headache. Since sunday Ive had the fatigue. I assumed all this was merely the old migraine pal, back for more hell. Ive had migraines so bad I curl up in a darkened bedroom and pray for death. A throbbing that seems determined to split your skull. Light streaking across your vision even when your eyes are closed. All sounds, no matter how soft(feather hitting snow) blaze through your head like the screech of metal in a car crash.
This is no migraine. The characteristic throbbing is not there. Its an all over ache, like someone with ghostly fingers and a sharp knife just running around attacking different parts of my skull. Over the left eye(Where the migraines start) to the centre, to the back.....Around and round he goes, the pain demon, here, there, everywhere, catch me if you can....
My throat is not sore yet Im losing my voice at the strangest times. My claves and shins are aching like Ive been running, but even if I had been running, wouldnt other parts of me be sore? Why just those? And....
And I keep falling asleep. Mid sentence. Just BAM! And Im asleep. I very seldom get an illness Im not familiar with. Very seldom meet an enemy I cant battle. I didnt even clean my teeth or do my little skin care routine. Just pulled myself out of bed (An hour late - magnus was knocking on my window...."Please mommy....We're so hungry!") fed them, and tried to go back to bed. Advil has helped give me the boost I needed to get the ducks out and the dishwasher packed but Im having serious visual difficulties. The keys seem lit up yet its still hard to hit the one I want. Neon Genisus.....Strange dreams......
The wind as alwas brings comfort with its roaring.....How I love the sound, the storm its bringing. The little horse wizard is poised on the hill with his almost silver mane blown out by the force. We are the same, me and my little one. Im just afraid of trees being torn from their roots.....It happened in the last storm, along with fences.....I just cant fence at the moment, I mean jesus, if brushing my teeth is beyond me what hope do I have fencing?
So. Enough. Heres some poetry from last week. Why do I get bloody inspired on the train?
Yesterday, when I got up before dawn to feed the horses before work, I saw red streaks in the sky. "Red sky in morning - shepards warning" I thought. I quite often see the "shepards delight" of a red sky at night, but seldom the red sky in morning. Since the weather was predicted to be fairly mild, I was wondering.
Home time last night, feeding the horses in the dark, still no weather. So I was wondering....The sky is never wrong, the weather man often is. I knew I was right, I just didnt know how it would manifest.
I woke up this morning(that was a hard thing but I'll get to that) and it seemed blue and mild. The 'light shower' predicted seemed non existant. It wasnt till I was on my way to the house that the wind picked up....
The wind, the wind.....Have you heard of Thowra, the Silver Stallion......Who is the wind.....No coincidence that I named my Silver Stallion ZAYFIR......Though Ive only just realized he is the wind.....Surely as those poetic hooves that beat over the Ramshead range.....
And now is roaring ferociously over us.... Assaulting, angry, it charges over us, twisting the trees....Clouds have whipped themselves into a myriad of shades, white, cream, grey and black bellied, they mix together, a couldron pot, against the sharp electric blue of storm backdrop.....They stir each other at the winds insistance, cooking up some awful yet exciting storm....
Zayfir runs with his namesake, urging the other horses....."Come! Come! There is nothing to fear, run with me in the strength of the storm....Come my herd and be immersed in me....I am almost of age when I may claim my birthright and all wind and all storms sing only for me!"
I cannot enjoy it. My fingers are starting to shake from the pain. Since saturday Ive had the headache. Since sunday Ive had the fatigue. I assumed all this was merely the old migraine pal, back for more hell. Ive had migraines so bad I curl up in a darkened bedroom and pray for death. A throbbing that seems determined to split your skull. Light streaking across your vision even when your eyes are closed. All sounds, no matter how soft(feather hitting snow) blaze through your head like the screech of metal in a car crash.
This is no migraine. The characteristic throbbing is not there. Its an all over ache, like someone with ghostly fingers and a sharp knife just running around attacking different parts of my skull. Over the left eye(Where the migraines start) to the centre, to the back.....Around and round he goes, the pain demon, here, there, everywhere, catch me if you can....
My throat is not sore yet Im losing my voice at the strangest times. My claves and shins are aching like Ive been running, but even if I had been running, wouldnt other parts of me be sore? Why just those? And....
And I keep falling asleep. Mid sentence. Just BAM! And Im asleep. I very seldom get an illness Im not familiar with. Very seldom meet an enemy I cant battle. I didnt even clean my teeth or do my little skin care routine. Just pulled myself out of bed (An hour late - magnus was knocking on my window...."Please mommy....We're so hungry!") fed them, and tried to go back to bed. Advil has helped give me the boost I needed to get the ducks out and the dishwasher packed but Im having serious visual difficulties. The keys seem lit up yet its still hard to hit the one I want. Neon Genisus.....Strange dreams......
The wind as alwas brings comfort with its roaring.....How I love the sound, the storm its bringing. The little horse wizard is poised on the hill with his almost silver mane blown out by the force. We are the same, me and my little one. Im just afraid of trees being torn from their roots.....It happened in the last storm, along with fences.....I just cant fence at the moment, I mean jesus, if brushing my teeth is beyond me what hope do I have fencing?
So. Enough. Heres some poetry from last week. Why do I get bloody inspired on the train?
BLUE EYES
I once loved blue eyes,
and no other
on a day when clouds come down,
to settle amoungst tree roots,
they shade sight,
confuse vision,
within wet walls,
my favourite setting.
In mystery
I remember
heart starts in shock
as I see your build
Your haircut. Your height.
Same clothes and feral expression
yet you it isnt
heart continues to pound,
that was so close, too close,
but blue eyes it was not
I'll never forget that ice,
that chill
you wouldnt want me to
and seeing your look alike
(how I wish it was your wraith!)
it seems, the universe bids me remember
in soft dark clouds,
kissing earth
trauma assualts my surrogate family
I am drawn and quatered
between successive rapes
to where should my attention be?
today, it is no mystery
I have a part to play,
I'll play it out
then to home again
to chase my tail
between claws and knives
and attempt to puzzle it out,
this horrid dark mystery.
I once loved blue eyes,
and no other
on a day when clouds come down,
to settle amoungst tree roots,
they shade sight,
confuse vision,
within wet walls,
my favourite setting.
In mystery
I remember
heart starts in shock
as I see your build
Your haircut. Your height.
Same clothes and feral expression
yet you it isnt
heart continues to pound,
that was so close, too close,
but blue eyes it was not
I'll never forget that ice,
that chill
you wouldnt want me to
and seeing your look alike
(how I wish it was your wraith!)
it seems, the universe bids me remember
in soft dark clouds,
kissing earth
trauma assualts my surrogate family
I am drawn and quatered
between successive rapes
to where should my attention be?
today, it is no mystery
I have a part to play,
I'll play it out
then to home again
to chase my tail
between claws and knives
and attempt to puzzle it out,
this horrid dark mystery.
SISTER
For many years Ive known a sister,
unborn,
yet well known,
in form and face
arms and words comfort me
Spirit Sister.
On promise of marriage
a surrogate family appears,
and I adopt new sisters
of blood and of law
You do not want to know me
you wanted to remain the new toy
Im sorry I took our mothers attention
You need her more than I
I know you hate me sister
our words have been twisted,
and so, so misunderstood,
Please know, I never wished you ill
and now youve been broken
and torn,
and no one seems to care
they leave you in bloody pieces
awash in shame
my arms are waiting
no need to forgive
you can hate me still (if you wish)
my comfort has no price
I only wish to say sorry,
to heal that void between us
and try and heal you too,
what has been done to you
is more than unfair(no words describe this horror)
I'm here, I listen
hate me (if you wish)
I am here for you
For many years Ive known a sister,
unborn,
yet well known,
in form and face
arms and words comfort me
Spirit Sister.
On promise of marriage
a surrogate family appears,
and I adopt new sisters
of blood and of law
You do not want to know me
you wanted to remain the new toy
Im sorry I took our mothers attention
You need her more than I
I know you hate me sister
our words have been twisted,
and so, so misunderstood,
Please know, I never wished you ill
and now youve been broken
and torn,
and no one seems to care
they leave you in bloody pieces
awash in shame
my arms are waiting
no need to forgive
you can hate me still (if you wish)
my comfort has no price
I only wish to say sorry,
to heal that void between us
and try and heal you too,
what has been done to you
is more than unfair(no words describe this horror)
I'm here, I listen
hate me (if you wish)
I am here for you
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Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
hugs hon...
Dusk
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
You poor thing. I had a migraine on the weekend and have been reminded only too well of the excrutiating pain. If you're living with anything like that, then.......holy shit.....you poor thing!!!!
As Dusk said above. You might not be able to even feed yourself.....but I'd bet my last dollar that you'd drop dead in the paddocks before you let down one of your babies!!
I hope that you feel better soon.
Kylie
Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
Health Focus
Poetry Lighthouse
MS Paint Art
Then to poetry.
I was fully embraced by your poetic prose, inspired by it, really, then you took a cruel twist of fate.
I could not concentrate on the poetry after it, it was a complete distractor, although I recognised its wealth.
Is it just me or did others feel the same.
I wanted the feelings set free with your prose, I did not want an inhibitor.
I'm not being cruel, I would have liked the poetry and one, not two, in separate posts, the wind and horses play with my twisted emotions and I am not big on emotions.
Do you see my point? Or is there to be an outcry of katyzzz spite, be it that I bear no malice at all here or elsewhere.
Does anyone else feel as I do?
Kleo, what is it you have in response to my turmoiled responses?
katyzzz....loved the work.
Comment by David
I love these lines:
between successive rapes
to where should my attention be?
to chase my tail
between claws and knives
and attempt to puzzle it out,
this horrid dark mystery.
You ask:
That makes sense to me. I often formulate my thoughts during motion (as opposed to sitting down stagnant at the computer). Not just on the train. Any mode of public transport or walking. I'll often get up and walk around the house to get the brain moving.
David ...
Comment by Wendi
I relate to this on so many levels, starting with the headache, all the way down to the sister poem.
I did that rocking, begging thing just last week... felt like a giant fork had been thrust through the nape of the neck and was trying to force its way through the eye sockets. Nothing eased it... and it lasted three solid days, then permeated the rest of me in the form of aches, pains, and weakness. I do believe it all boiled down to stress... such a beast!
I'm loving the way you write these days... your words carry such power, are so rich with emotion.
Your Sister piece resonates with me so well. There's nothing quite like the bond of sisters, and when that bond is stretched and distant, the pain can be immense.
I hope you find the peace you're searching for.
*hugs*
W
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
I love the wind too, but it hasn't reached us here in Q yet. .. and I'm not making sense, because I've done my back and am bombed on medication... but I really can't do much else but sit and blog. Sure as hell can't stand up...and I wanted to say how much I enjoyed this poem... understanding it's core so well from years gone by ...
kissing earth
trauma assualts my surrogate family
I am drawn and quatered
between successive rapes
to where should my attention be?
today, it is no mystery
I have a part to play,
I'll play it out
then to home again
to chase my tail
between claws and knives
and attempt to puzzle it out,
this horrid dark mystery.
Sheer poetry. Beautiful... keep shining light into those dark corners ....
Lilla
Comment by tlcorbin-raginravensview
Coffee Quip
A Global Citizen
Paranormal Paranormal
Is Why
Alaska Chronicle
Sleezer's World
Aloe vera barbadensis, cold processed taken several times daily will build your immune systems up: at least do some research on it.
I've known people with lupus and candida that had similar complaints.
Your work is wonderful, but is absolutely meaningless without you. Health issues now, the world tomorrow.
A duck without it's mum seldom dies of old age.
Raven
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
You seem to be having a tough time there girl. Maybe it is the wild weather that is playing havoc with your body? I have been hearing horror stories of the wind and the damage that is it doing.
Your desciptyrions of the storm were beautiful... the wind and the clouds and sky... I could see the scene playing before my eyes as I read.
There must be something in the air, I have been having the most awful nightmares recently and hardly slept all week - we aren`t having any wild weather up here and it hasn`t really been cold for more than a couple of days.... doing a bit of sympathy sharing with the Orblears perhaps!
I hope you feel better soon K
hugs
ash
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Thanks for your energy and words darlin....Im sure you are right. I once chased zayfir for 6 hours in the freezing cold, throwing up and coughing my lungs out cos I had the flu.....He'd cut his leg, and I wasnt gonna stop till I had him and tended to it!
Kylie,
Hi babe! Thats my issue with it - it aint a migraine. No throbbing. I know my migraines inside and out, but thats not what this is. Its more like a pressure headache, moves about and I just cant shake it off. Its like having a first stage migraine for, like, 4 days? Im used to it now....
Kayzzz,
I figured more people would share your view actually. Problem is, I wanted to say it all, Im feeling extremely lazy, and if I do too many posts the download rate jumps hugely enough for Kman to notice. So I just stuffed it all in the one post. Sorry it screwed with your emotions.
David,
Lovely to see you darlin. As always your praise makes me feel meek....Almost didnt recognise you with the new post pic! The train always inspires me, never fails. The second I sit down, I write.
Wendi,
Aw, thanks! Im so glad when I get empathy.....Im not sure whats wrong with me, but Im getting it together, or getting used to it. Still got the headache but Im not letting it slow me down!
The sister thing is a bit tricky. Kmans family adopted a girl in when Kman and his sister were teenagers. Kmans sister and I are really close, but the adopted sister doesnt want a bar of me. Her lifes just taken a turn for the worse and I just want to be there for her. So many people have said, "well, too bad, you deserve it," but trust me, no one deserves whats been done to her! I wish she would confide in me, I think we could really help each other.
Lovely Lilla,
Always welcome here bombed Lilla! I love it, your keeping with the tradition of my blog for sure!
Thankyou so much.....Im all bashful....
Raven,
Thankyou for the riddle.....Im going to look into everything youve suggested, I just really forgot to look after myself for a few days there. I get really strange if I dont keep up my iron supplement, I take a multi that has vitamin C and iron and all the other good stuff.
Tonight Im going to go through my body and find out whats wrong with it. This headache is very strange....Like Ive had a blow to the head more than anything, but I dont remember waking up in the paddock...I'll figure it out. Im not letting it slow me down today.
Thanks for caring sweetheart.
Ash,
Im just being a whinger. Really. Weird things go on with my health all the time. I have to feel REALLY bad before I go to the doctor. Since Im getting over it I wont be doing that.
Something sure is in the air. Everyones on edge. Ive got my altar going again and alls improving.