Some little ramblings......
May 16th 2007 02:50
This place is too small. Why is waiting for the feed truck so boring? Why does Najara have to throw her feed everywhere? Just who did I catch this bacterial infection from?
*Sigh* Im accustomed to stomach cramps. Ive been having them my whole life. They are just part and parcel of irritable bowel syndrome. I know, its not pretty, and if you havnt experienced it, you cant know just how bad it is. Beside the point though, because Ive been coping with it for so long, Im used to it. But NOW......
It all started on my birthday night. I just want to ramble on and try to get out all the little stories, even if I slightly repeat myself. I got cold. Not just cold, but really cold. Knives drove into my back, my guts clenched. For two days I was locked in fever, when I could drag myself out of bed to use the bathroom Id notice the massive pool of sweat Id been lying in. Doctors, hospitals, CT scans and ultra sounds were all a part of moving house this time, and 3 days after my birthday was Kmans birthday. He didnt actually have one - We were moving. We finished early that night but paid for it the next when we were still doing runs at 4am. He told me last night he truly feels like he missed his birthday, and I want to give him another, but Im so poor. Im always too poor. I keep saying "this will be the year" and all I do is bum around with half baked ideas and never get anywhere. Maybe I should just have a baby. Johnny will pay me for that.
The day I got sick was my first day at my new promotions job. They seem understanding but Im still hurting that I let them down. I want to go back to work NOW, I really do, and I feel great, but down. Drained. Every now and then I get a stomach cramp that cripples me and I contort strangely and moan. I asked the doctor about it on Monday - Why do I still feel so bad? The fevers broken, infections on the move, Im feeling well, why does real food and a bit of exercise seem to make me relapse? She looked at me with real concern(the first doctor ever to do so, the first doctor Ive ever trusted) and replied that I was suffering a particularly severe bacterial infection, and even if I was feeling better, I couldnt expect to be at full strength until the anti biotics were finished. She advised the same - bland food(more rice, noodles and jelly, oh yay) rest and relaxation. The onset of this infection ON THE SAME DAY I was due to start work is just flooring me. What message does the universe really have for me there? What am I supposed to be doing, if not that? I know what I want to be doing. I want a full time job writing blogs. I want to be selling my photos to hallmark. I want the time and money to start 3 more blogs so Im eligible for pay per post and can actually MAKE money. I want Big Brother to realize my talents and offer me a full time job analysing pack behaviour. I want a major publishing company to realize my genius and give me a retainer to finish one of my many novels. Hell, at this point, Id settle for some support on this blog!
Sorry guys, I know I AM very much supported here and Im so glad Ive made so many friends. But I get more hits than comments and if everyone saw an ad they liked that could be a good day!
But on to the house.....
Oh, wasnt she so beautiful on inspection! Even as we began to move she kept her 'unfussy' air. It was only after the moving was finished and all of our furniture, assorted crap and boxes and bags were....Filling every room. Littering the front AND back veranda. Scattered over the lawn, that the atmosphere changed. Its like the house is trying to expand to give us more room. It has no linen closet. No shit. The only house Ive ever seen without one!
I have a real feeling that everythings not going to fit. Kmans office has become a /loungeroom, and thats really cool. I like this room. I like that the radios playing in the kitchen and I can hear it - at the old house the kitchen was too far and I was stuck replaying cds. Man I love radio. We will, eventually get our fridge and microwave and kettle in here....Somewhere. My office is a mess of boxes(hell, every room is!) and it seems impossible to unpack with no where to put anything! I believe we'll get there, if a little crowded.
Oh, and isnt it funny watching Mum live with a man again! "wheres my tea towel? Wheres my coffee mug? Where are all the teaspoons? What happened to all the bowls? Whos towel is on the floor?" Oh man, thats a constant source of entertainment for me. Let me tell you, I love my Mum, I have only one problem - Shes a hypocrite. She preaches but doesnt practise. That makes me lose respect and feel like a teenager again. Makes me want to work even more so I can finally get a tatto(can you believe mum beat me to it?!) and dye my hair purple and green.
The land is too small. The last place was 5 acres that looked bigger because of the way it was laid out. I had a lot of room I couldnt use, but I had 'the big yard' time shared by Magnus and Zayfir because it was the most secure, 'the boys yard' a small dirt yard 'the grove' the only yard with trees where Teshan lived then I had 'the long paddock'. The long paddock was good to let everyone out in durin the day, to graze and play. The fences were bad so it wasnt a full time option. It seemed so small then but now I realize just how big it was.
We are now on 4 acres. The general rule is an acre per horse. Since they get fed twice a day, their weight shouldnt be a problem, but we're still an acre short. Now I have, 'the front yard' a twisted wilderness in front of the house that no horse has yet ventured into. It needs fixing. 'The house yard' a sort of enclosed yard thats flat and cleared, where Magnus and Zayfir live, and....'Out the back'. Thats our majority paddock. Its hilly and scrubby and looks like absolute wilderness to my idiots. Mags and Zayf are out there now being 'real horses' man its funny! But Ive come up with an idea....Just now.
Fix the fence to the front yard. Its literally covered in fallen trees and the odd bit of garbage, but if I fix the fence I can put Teshan and/or the destructo brothers(Shakir&Spirit) in there. I didnt realize just how sheltered my horses have been until we moved here. When I bought Teshan about 10 years ago she was running on 600 acres. I knew the place like the back of my hand, but still, 600 acres! It was flats, hills, scrub, thick bush, gullys, the lot. We rode our bloody horses hard then too! No rules - Fly down the mountain as fast and hard as hooves will take you. If you chicken out or fall well you just dont have the balls to ride with us! Then I got EDUCATED. I went to TAFE and cut up horse legs and saw just how delicate all their parts were. Then I get a job at Fairview Arabians, one of the best studs in Australia, and the absolute delicacy of this animal is thrown into overdrive for me - Arabians and Arabian derivitives canot be shown with scars. An infected scratch on a leg can mean the end of a promising career.
And Spirit, Shakir, Magnus, and Zayfir are all born there, on the flat, cleared ground. The first place they see after Fairview is the last place - with all its problems, flat and cleared. Very little debri.
Then they get here. Within that small 2 acre paddock is two massive, steep hills. Grass is hidden in thickets and pockets. No where is flat or clear - trees and fallen branches literally cover the ground.
Teshan? Teshans home. No injuries(well, a bit of a runny eye) no dramas, even a little weight loss for the fat bitch!
Shakir and Spirit? Confused, excited, adventurous. Already they are both more muscular. Shakirs the toughest - got some superficial cuts on his legs but not bothered. Spirit sprained his foreleg(suspensory ligament I think) and looked pretty miserable for a bit. Amazingly, he got over it on his own.
Magnus. Magnus is literally covered in small wounds. On his face and chin, on his legs right up past his knees and hocks. He charges through the under brush with no thought to where his feet are. Hes hardenening up, getting tough, but please dear Goddess, no scars!
Zayfir. Sprained his back leg on the first night and also covered in scratches. Oh, how Ive spoiled these horses! How bad it is that they dont even know how to be HORSES just because Ive never let them! Its also amazing that Zayfir and Spirit healed on their own - a few weeks ago that would have been a vet visit! 10 years ago on the 600 acres I doubt I would have even noticed an injury.
But thats a good idea for today. Fix the fence and put the bitch in on her own. Id love to tell some of my old friends(who arent friends any more) that 'Teshan crazy horse' is now our most mature and dependable horse.....The horse that reared, bucked, bit, broke headstalls and lead ropes and bolted away in terror while still attached to 100metres of fencing has become a nanny! I find that so amazing.....Teshan, mature? Dependable? Its amazing what mother hood can do!
Waiting, waiting for the feedman. It always sucks. Im ready for him, which is a change. At the old place theyd just drive on past the house and I didnt have to budge if I didnt want to. Here he'll need instructions....At least I got the combination padlock off the gate and the boys out the back and out of the way. Todays only a small delivery, so its cool, but when we get a fortnights worth delivered.....Um....Where am I going to put it? Before I had tw stables with a feedroom in between, plus 3 other sheds leading off that became tack rooms and woodsheds. Here I have a tiny garage with all my tack and feed drums squished in, a garden shed with a wonky door thats going to have to fit in all the crap that previously filled a 3 car garage! Oh, and a little woodshed, full of wood(thanks to whoever did that, wasnt looking forward to chopping it!).
Oh, and the mystery shed. Situated roughly in the centre of the 'out the back' paddock its just a slap up corrugated iron shed. I have to crouch to get in, and Im not tall. What was it used for? I have no idea, but it could be useful, I just have to use my vast imagination....
Coming to the end of my ramble now.....Najara is such a monster. She desrves her own post, and believe me, life with a mynah bird is an experience and a half. It is not like having a parrot....Try and imagine owning a very agressive eagle with short person syndrome....Yes, I do get attacked if I have food....Or just for the hell of it, like now, as she chases my fingers over the keyboard....
Ramble, ramble. I wonder what excuses I'll make, to not get anything done? I should be -
- Painting designs on my few pieces of furniture and unpacking the office
- Fixing the front yard and putting Teshan in as a trial
- Trying desperately to bring some semblance of order to the kitchen
- bringing in boxes from the back and front verandas - next door neighbors were recently broken into
- brushing the horses, washing rugs, and treating their little wounds. Chasing Teshan down like an amazon so I can bathe her eye
- walking mums dogs
- cleaning up the bathroom and laundry
- gathering rubbish
But Im so tired, and so comfortable...Coffee is calling. When I had the CT scan mum felt so sorry for me(the radioactive dye knocked me around pretty badly) she did an add on birthday present of lilac ugg boots. Man they are sweet. I'll probably sit here until it starts to get dark, throw feed to the horses and then plonk down in front of neighbors.
Let me tell you, what I love the most about this place.....
At the old house, Id get up at 7am and dash down to the stables. Put Zayf out, change rugs, feed. Same for Mags. Feed the rest, rugs if nessesary. Then do stables, clean feedroom, check fences. If I was lucky, Id be sitting in front of Orble with coffee and cigarrette by 10am.
Today I dragged myself out of bed at ten past 8, fed the horses, took off rugs, put Wistiful Wyrm into an out door cage, gave the other ducks some lettuce....
And I was in front of Orble by 9am. Dont you just LOVE it!!
*Sigh* Im accustomed to stomach cramps. Ive been having them my whole life. They are just part and parcel of irritable bowel syndrome. I know, its not pretty, and if you havnt experienced it, you cant know just how bad it is. Beside the point though, because Ive been coping with it for so long, Im used to it. But NOW......
It all started on my birthday night. I just want to ramble on and try to get out all the little stories, even if I slightly repeat myself. I got cold. Not just cold, but really cold. Knives drove into my back, my guts clenched. For two days I was locked in fever, when I could drag myself out of bed to use the bathroom Id notice the massive pool of sweat Id been lying in. Doctors, hospitals, CT scans and ultra sounds were all a part of moving house this time, and 3 days after my birthday was Kmans birthday. He didnt actually have one - We were moving. We finished early that night but paid for it the next when we were still doing runs at 4am. He told me last night he truly feels like he missed his birthday, and I want to give him another, but Im so poor. Im always too poor. I keep saying "this will be the year" and all I do is bum around with half baked ideas and never get anywhere. Maybe I should just have a baby. Johnny will pay me for that.
The day I got sick was my first day at my new promotions job. They seem understanding but Im still hurting that I let them down. I want to go back to work NOW, I really do, and I feel great, but down. Drained. Every now and then I get a stomach cramp that cripples me and I contort strangely and moan. I asked the doctor about it on Monday - Why do I still feel so bad? The fevers broken, infections on the move, Im feeling well, why does real food and a bit of exercise seem to make me relapse? She looked at me with real concern(the first doctor ever to do so, the first doctor Ive ever trusted) and replied that I was suffering a particularly severe bacterial infection, and even if I was feeling better, I couldnt expect to be at full strength until the anti biotics were finished. She advised the same - bland food(more rice, noodles and jelly, oh yay) rest and relaxation. The onset of this infection ON THE SAME DAY I was due to start work is just flooring me. What message does the universe really have for me there? What am I supposed to be doing, if not that? I know what I want to be doing. I want a full time job writing blogs. I want to be selling my photos to hallmark. I want the time and money to start 3 more blogs so Im eligible for pay per post and can actually MAKE money. I want Big Brother to realize my talents and offer me a full time job analysing pack behaviour. I want a major publishing company to realize my genius and give me a retainer to finish one of my many novels. Hell, at this point, Id settle for some support on this blog!
Sorry guys, I know I AM very much supported here and Im so glad Ive made so many friends. But I get more hits than comments and if everyone saw an ad they liked that could be a good day!
But on to the house.....
Oh, wasnt she so beautiful on inspection! Even as we began to move she kept her 'unfussy' air. It was only after the moving was finished and all of our furniture, assorted crap and boxes and bags were....Filling every room. Littering the front AND back veranda. Scattered over the lawn, that the atmosphere changed. Its like the house is trying to expand to give us more room. It has no linen closet. No shit. The only house Ive ever seen without one!
I have a real feeling that everythings not going to fit. Kmans office has become a /loungeroom, and thats really cool. I like this room. I like that the radios playing in the kitchen and I can hear it - at the old house the kitchen was too far and I was stuck replaying cds. Man I love radio. We will, eventually get our fridge and microwave and kettle in here....Somewhere. My office is a mess of boxes(hell, every room is!) and it seems impossible to unpack with no where to put anything! I believe we'll get there, if a little crowded.
Oh, and isnt it funny watching Mum live with a man again! "wheres my tea towel? Wheres my coffee mug? Where are all the teaspoons? What happened to all the bowls? Whos towel is on the floor?" Oh man, thats a constant source of entertainment for me. Let me tell you, I love my Mum, I have only one problem - Shes a hypocrite. She preaches but doesnt practise. That makes me lose respect and feel like a teenager again. Makes me want to work even more so I can finally get a tatto(can you believe mum beat me to it?!) and dye my hair purple and green.
The land is too small. The last place was 5 acres that looked bigger because of the way it was laid out. I had a lot of room I couldnt use, but I had 'the big yard' time shared by Magnus and Zayfir because it was the most secure, 'the boys yard' a small dirt yard 'the grove' the only yard with trees where Teshan lived then I had 'the long paddock'. The long paddock was good to let everyone out in durin the day, to graze and play. The fences were bad so it wasnt a full time option. It seemed so small then but now I realize just how big it was.
We are now on 4 acres. The general rule is an acre per horse. Since they get fed twice a day, their weight shouldnt be a problem, but we're still an acre short. Now I have, 'the front yard' a twisted wilderness in front of the house that no horse has yet ventured into. It needs fixing. 'The house yard' a sort of enclosed yard thats flat and cleared, where Magnus and Zayfir live, and....'Out the back'. Thats our majority paddock. Its hilly and scrubby and looks like absolute wilderness to my idiots. Mags and Zayf are out there now being 'real horses' man its funny! But Ive come up with an idea....Just now.
Fix the fence to the front yard. Its literally covered in fallen trees and the odd bit of garbage, but if I fix the fence I can put Teshan and/or the destructo brothers(Shakir&Spirit) in there. I didnt realize just how sheltered my horses have been until we moved here. When I bought Teshan about 10 years ago she was running on 600 acres. I knew the place like the back of my hand, but still, 600 acres! It was flats, hills, scrub, thick bush, gullys, the lot. We rode our bloody horses hard then too! No rules - Fly down the mountain as fast and hard as hooves will take you. If you chicken out or fall well you just dont have the balls to ride with us! Then I got EDUCATED. I went to TAFE and cut up horse legs and saw just how delicate all their parts were. Then I get a job at Fairview Arabians, one of the best studs in Australia, and the absolute delicacy of this animal is thrown into overdrive for me - Arabians and Arabian derivitives canot be shown with scars. An infected scratch on a leg can mean the end of a promising career.
And Spirit, Shakir, Magnus, and Zayfir are all born there, on the flat, cleared ground. The first place they see after Fairview is the last place - with all its problems, flat and cleared. Very little debri.
Then they get here. Within that small 2 acre paddock is two massive, steep hills. Grass is hidden in thickets and pockets. No where is flat or clear - trees and fallen branches literally cover the ground.
Teshan? Teshans home. No injuries(well, a bit of a runny eye) no dramas, even a little weight loss for the fat bitch!
Shakir and Spirit? Confused, excited, adventurous. Already they are both more muscular. Shakirs the toughest - got some superficial cuts on his legs but not bothered. Spirit sprained his foreleg(suspensory ligament I think) and looked pretty miserable for a bit. Amazingly, he got over it on his own.
Magnus. Magnus is literally covered in small wounds. On his face and chin, on his legs right up past his knees and hocks. He charges through the under brush with no thought to where his feet are. Hes hardenening up, getting tough, but please dear Goddess, no scars!
Zayfir. Sprained his back leg on the first night and also covered in scratches. Oh, how Ive spoiled these horses! How bad it is that they dont even know how to be HORSES just because Ive never let them! Its also amazing that Zayfir and Spirit healed on their own - a few weeks ago that would have been a vet visit! 10 years ago on the 600 acres I doubt I would have even noticed an injury.
But thats a good idea for today. Fix the fence and put the bitch in on her own. Id love to tell some of my old friends(who arent friends any more) that 'Teshan crazy horse' is now our most mature and dependable horse.....The horse that reared, bucked, bit, broke headstalls and lead ropes and bolted away in terror while still attached to 100metres of fencing has become a nanny! I find that so amazing.....Teshan, mature? Dependable? Its amazing what mother hood can do!
Waiting, waiting for the feedman. It always sucks. Im ready for him, which is a change. At the old place theyd just drive on past the house and I didnt have to budge if I didnt want to. Here he'll need instructions....At least I got the combination padlock off the gate and the boys out the back and out of the way. Todays only a small delivery, so its cool, but when we get a fortnights worth delivered.....Um....Where am I going to put it? Before I had tw stables with a feedroom in between, plus 3 other sheds leading off that became tack rooms and woodsheds. Here I have a tiny garage with all my tack and feed drums squished in, a garden shed with a wonky door thats going to have to fit in all the crap that previously filled a 3 car garage! Oh, and a little woodshed, full of wood(thanks to whoever did that, wasnt looking forward to chopping it!).
Oh, and the mystery shed. Situated roughly in the centre of the 'out the back' paddock its just a slap up corrugated iron shed. I have to crouch to get in, and Im not tall. What was it used for? I have no idea, but it could be useful, I just have to use my vast imagination....
Coming to the end of my ramble now.....Najara is such a monster. She desrves her own post, and believe me, life with a mynah bird is an experience and a half. It is not like having a parrot....Try and imagine owning a very agressive eagle with short person syndrome....Yes, I do get attacked if I have food....Or just for the hell of it, like now, as she chases my fingers over the keyboard....
Ramble, ramble. I wonder what excuses I'll make, to not get anything done? I should be -
- Painting designs on my few pieces of furniture and unpacking the office
- Fixing the front yard and putting Teshan in as a trial
- Trying desperately to bring some semblance of order to the kitchen
- bringing in boxes from the back and front verandas - next door neighbors were recently broken into
- brushing the horses, washing rugs, and treating their little wounds. Chasing Teshan down like an amazon so I can bathe her eye
- walking mums dogs
- cleaning up the bathroom and laundry
- gathering rubbish
But Im so tired, and so comfortable...Coffee is calling. When I had the CT scan mum felt so sorry for me(the radioactive dye knocked me around pretty badly) she did an add on birthday present of lilac ugg boots. Man they are sweet. I'll probably sit here until it starts to get dark, throw feed to the horses and then plonk down in front of neighbors.
Let me tell you, what I love the most about this place.....
At the old house, Id get up at 7am and dash down to the stables. Put Zayf out, change rugs, feed. Same for Mags. Feed the rest, rugs if nessesary. Then do stables, clean feedroom, check fences. If I was lucky, Id be sitting in front of Orble with coffee and cigarrette by 10am.
Today I dragged myself out of bed at ten past 8, fed the horses, took off rugs, put Wistiful Wyrm into an out door cage, gave the other ducks some lettuce....
And I was in front of Orble by 9am. Dont you just LOVE it!!
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Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Wendi
Oh, oh, oh! How I relate to that! That is so me in a nutshell. I'm always too late, too broke, or too chaotic - and yet, I mean so well and my intentions are in the best of places.... I just came from reading Winston's piece on being ambushed by time, and man, this comment and that post are so synchronized.
Again, the familiarity bells are loudly ringing... but I don't want to internalize this...
Writing it down is the first step to achieving it, Kleo. When I want something badly, I fight for it with words. I get as absolutely specific with details as I can... this is where your writing talents will come in handy coupled with your talents as a visionary. This is also the benefit to having a blog, because it makes a great platform for dreaming out loud and sending your wishes to the Universe.
If I'm wishing for an office job, I write the whole vision as explicitly as I can. It can't be just any old, bland, windowless office. That wouldn't make me happy at all. It would have to be a cheerful environment (though not overly perky 'cause that's just annoying), plenty of windows and sunshine, pleasant people to work with, a job assignment I enjoy and feel productive doing. I write about wardrobe, office hours, days off, and rates of pay. Dreaming about it in detail, via writing, seems to make the "magick" happen and the visions manifest in reality.
Of course, it's always a good idea to try to foresee consequence as well... and to define your terms, state what you're willing to "balance the scales" with in terms of cost. What are you willing to give in order to receive what you're asking? Is it worth it?
Then I go through the editing process... I spend time with that dream paper, negotiating terms, adding new things I thought of, removing anything that seems overly selfish in retrospect. This is the process where I tend to justify why I deserve what I'm asking for.
Usually, my results manifest in the eleventh hour, just as I'm about to give up hope... but I always manage to end up with what I need, and it usually shows up in a way I wouldn't have been capable of anticipating, so I've gotten in the habit of letting go of expectation and trying not to "micro-manage" the magick according to my own logic and reason.
That's just the method that works best for me... and even if skeptics want to rip the shreds out of my metaphysical madness, that's fine, too, because no one can deny the benefits of writing. The act of writing in and of itself is therapeutic, and it gives us a chance to meditate on our road maps to life.
I do believe you're moving in the right direction.
Writing is a tough gig. Any creative job is a tough gig. It's a fiercely competitive field in which the creative soul is often robbed of credit and value when it comes to the all mighty dollar and prestigeous titles.
The best solution is to find an alternative job you enjoy, that may apply to or enhance your writing goals/career, that doesn't take so much of your time and energy that you don't have time left for writing, and earns enough to pay the bills with a bit of comfortable breathing room in the bank account. As your writing success increases, you'd be able to let go of the "security blanket" job. But every book I've ever read on how to be a writer or how to build a career in the writing field says the same damned thing, "Don't quit your day job."
I'll click something while I'm here. *winks*
I can't even get into the house issues... I'm having so many of my own, and if I get started on a rant? Gurl, we'd be here for days!
Love the mystery shed.
Best of luck nesting, Kleo. May the change of circumstance open many doors for you...
::hugs::
W
Comment by Winston
Small Thoughts on Big Questions
As for your writing, Wendi is absolutely correct that it is imperative to incorporate your writing into your life if you feel so passionately about it. I sort of let mine slip for a very long time, and I regretted it. I've really enjoyed writing here so far. I may not be the most popular kid on the block here at Orble, but I've made some good friends and gotten some feedback which is enough for me. Not that I would mind a bit more input from new people, but just exercising my brain and my limited writing abilities is excuse enough to soldier on. Using your mind for its own sake is never a bad thing.
As for what "message" the universe has for you? Here is where we may disagree a bit. The universe has no message for anyone. The universe takes you for what you are and throws at you what it will. What you do with it is up to you. I think people tend to get down because they wonder what is their "purpose" here. As far as I can tell, the only purpose anyone has is the one that they forge for themselves. If you want yours to be writing, then keep writing! Wendi's right -- it's a tough gig. I don't have the drive to try and make it a career, although I have the desire. You write engagingly. If you keep it up and keep creating opportunities for yourself, one day you might just wake up and find yourself doing what you love. I wish you the most sincere and very best of luck
PS. Oh, and I'm very sorry to hear about your chronic health issues. My wife has been having mysterious health problems for over a year now. It's very frustrating and scary and unpleasant and a number of other negative things. I sympathize with your situation a great deal....
PPS. I decided I might want to read up on Ambien while I was on your page. Fascinating stuff.
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
wow so much going on over at yours! I was watching a show last night on 'The Secret' - my word I`m going to buy that book today... or the DVD if I can find it. It reiterates everything that Wendi has said about putting things out to the Universe.
What I found particularly interesting was the fact that in order to move on from where you are now you have to be grateful for what you have first - turn that negative into a positive and move forward from there. There was a woman talking about her weight issues and the one man asked her if she was healthy to which she replied yes... so indtead of constantly wishing that she could lose weight he told her to focus on the fact that she was healthy and wished to remain that way therefore looking after her body and maintaining that health would actually lead her to curing her problem... she would lose the weight through healthy eating. (btw I realise that it`s not as cut and dried as that but you get the point)
And having goal boards... so important to have visual reminders of what you want, what your goals are etc. Lilla mentioned this book ages ago and Im only sorry that I have taken so long to get it!
happy travels K
ash
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Thanks for dropping in, yes, writing it did help....Just had some barriers to get past, you know?
Love&hugs
Wendi,
I know what youre saying, I used to do that quite well, but Im making a big mistake of placing too much personality in the powers that be....I either feel they listen too much or not enough, neither of which is true. I have a 'day job' which is a nice little casual job that suits my needs, its just frustrating and confusing that the day I was due to start I develop a serious infection! I feel theres a message there, I really do, and as usual I hear my spirits calling 'wait, wait" and Im like, guys, Ive been waiting for 25 years now! If Im supposed to write and show the horses, I need more oppurtunity, but the domain blog may just push me that bit harder....I could also actually SEND OFF my novels to publishers...I love to blame the guys upstairs but Im not proactive enough!
Thanks for clickin....Still workin out the mystery shed! *hugs back*
Winston,
On writing - Im going to post on it soon, how my personality has changed, once I was totally an indoor person, stereotypical over weight nerd. I wrote like Shakespeare though. I changed my life, became more physical, and it seems Ive lost brain cells because of it! The purpose of blogging is to encourage me to write with the oppurtunity to see what others think. Like I said to Wendi, if I want to succeed, maybe I should actually send stuff to publishers!
Sticky area - I actually agree with you, that the universe isnt sending messages to anyone, but I feel there is some messages in the world that lead individuals to where they are the most happy. Often we read them wrong, but that must be intended as we learn and find our place. Its just an example of my frustration that I was ready to work, and got so sick on the day I was due to start! Maybe its a message written by me, eh Winston?
Thankyou for the compliment. At school I heard all the time how brilliant my writing was, but I didnt appreciate it at the time and now praise is hard to find, so I treasure it when it comes. I feel like a bit of a dark horse - I only ramble and put up lack luster poetry, only once have I shown Orble my true talent - the short story. Thats where I shine!
Thanks for your concern.
Ash,
Please, DONT buy it! Man, like they need anymore money! I watched about 5 seconds of that and I just cant believe how people can say the right things, yes, its true, but they didnt give a damn about the principles or the people! They just had dollar signs behind their eyes.
The only part that made sense was - it is not actually a secret. It was those principles that got me back on track when I was crazy. Its just about enjoying life, being true to yourself. You dont need a DVD Ash - your doing it all on your own.
You tell me to throw the TV out the window because of BB then you turn it on for OPRAH!!!!