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Kalikapsychosis - "Perfection is what its about. When you can feel, the perfection, of creation. The beauty of physics, the wonder of mathematics all the elation of action, and reaction, and that is the kind of perfection that I want to be connected to" - Sam, hooked into the data stream

Destiny and Duck eggs

November 16th 2011 13:44
On Sunday, I rescued a small bird from Teshan's water trough.

I had to work in the next hour, and was quickly doing an animal check and water top up before I went. I saw her spiralling in the water and thought she was dead, until I detected a faint flutter. I dived through the fence (in my uniform) narrowly missing barbed and electric wire. I snatched her up, returned to the house yard via a safe route and assessed her.

She was calm, delirious almost, which was to be expected. In shock. She was so, so tiny, I cant describe it - to say she was smaller than my thumb would not indicate properly to you her immense fragility. She was a common wren, very tiny, brown/grey feathers tinged with olive green, with a bit of red blush about her cheeks and beak. So little. Small wedges of skin on either side of her beak indicated that she had only left the nest maybe a week ago or less.

I held her, in the hot sun on the front porch, encouraged by her little shakes as she worked to dry herself. She was not as vigorous as I would have hoped, seemed dazed, slow even.

Knowing how quickly birds this small go through energy, and thinking of expanded effort and water chill, I asked Kman to bring me some honey. I fed her tiny drops off my finger and watched her lap them up appreciatively. She began to fluff her feathers and look around with a bit more focus.

I thought about how long it had been since I'd had a serious rescue. How I missed it, even the hassles of it. Like the 'bush telegraph' we joke about had advertised 'Hotel Kleo temporarily No Vacancy' for the first time ever, just while we sorted out problems and settled in the baby.

Watching her, I thought about fixing her a box where she could rest up a bit. She was too slow, I could see it. She just wasnt picking up as quickly as a wild bird should. I knew what I wanted to do. Keep her, ensure her life.

I knew there were risks in this. Small insect eaters like her are extremely hard to keep. Even with slow instincts in her community of wrens she would most likely live well.

She had begun to chirp, flutter, and flick her tail.

Then she saw me.

She visibly wilted - slid sideways into my palm and flopped into shock again. Right, I was decided. I was causing more harm then good, back to nature she would go. I positioned her so she could only see the freedom of the yard, and she fluttered up and was off. She didnt make it far, flopping down in the middle of the yard. I took a few steps to encourage her towards the thick weeds in Teshan's yard, and she obligingly fluttered into them.

The instant she hit the edge of the scrub a violently blue coloured male appeared as if from no where, cheeping fiercely. She tweeted back. Quite obviously a 'Where-the-hell-have-you-been' followed by a 'hell-if-I-know'

There was much tweeting and tail flicking, before they both disappeared into the weeds.

I was ecstatic. After not rescuing for so long, having a perfect event like that made my week. I was still excited about it this morning, and at lunchtime when I went out to fill the water.

Teshan's water.

I was watching the weeds, as I had so often over the last few days, thinking of the vibrant little community going on there I couldnt even see. I looked down to check the water level.

In a horrific kind of de'ja'vu I saw a little bird riding the whirpool. I think I screamed (my neighbors must think Im nuts at least ten times a day) and dived through the fence mumbling 'no.no.no.'

It was her. Well, no reason to think it was the same bird of course, but the same breed, same colours, same age. And this time I was too late, and not even by long. Her feathers werent completely soaked, she wasnt even chilled, just bloated, full of water. She seemed at peace even, unlike other birds I've pulled dead from the water trough who are frozen in horror.

She just seemed to be in a very confused state of sleep.

Hopeless stupid tears burst out of me and why why why was thrumming through my mind. Ridiculous, senseless, so avoidable, goddamn my human arrogance! I could have saved her, I could have saved her.

Knowing I would grope for reason my whole, dismal night, I escorted her to the 'graveyard' where a few of hours are buried. I wandered into the thick scrub and placed her in the undergrowth. No time to bury her, and no need in there.

As I made to move away a pacific black duck burst out of the undergrowth and flew away.

Strange, I thought, Why would she be here?No water. Not much food Lots of predators. Stupid place for a duck to be alone.

I made to leave, when an urgent voice in my mind whispered, check, please check.

I crept slowly through the grass. I knew what I was going to find. Without doubt. And I found it.

A nest. With 10 eggs.

I called Kman for his thoughts. Mine were really, not to be denied.

Last time I trusted nature (pretty much everytime) its failed me. There was only one way to ensure the survival of these babies. Take control of the situation!

Kman said, dont you dare take some poor mommy ducks eggs. Its not fair.

I reasoned, they are alone, in a bad place. Reptiles will eat them. If she manages to get them to pipping, magpies and other predators with eat them. This is not a duck friendly place unless you have a nice, safe, pen.

But Kmans words got to me, and I compromised and took half. Of course, now he's changed his mind and thinks I should have taken them all, and I wish I had - to encourage silly mother to move on if anything - but done is done. My 'nest' is set up, heat set and regulations ready.

Hopefully in the next month, I'll have some ducks to show for it.

As I left the area with my cardboard box full of precious cargo, I paused by the bush where I'd left my poor little wren. "Thankyou" I whispered to her, "Thankyou...."
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My ouija

October 24th 2011 03:07
In my investigations into the skeptic community, Ive found that anyone claiming anything is deluded, mentally ill, or making stuff up. Funnily, if you ARE mentally ill then they wont use that against you, you're just a liar. I have heard the terms 'confirmation bias' 'idiometer effect' and 'special pleading' so many times I think I've found a new level of insanity.

To me, it is complete insanity to NOT believe. I really wonder what someone gets out of a comment like this 'I feel sorry for people who believe in chakras. Those poor bastards' and it literally hurts me, but not in the way they were hoping for.

My memories of what I was before I had flesh and breath are more real to me than my memory of breakfast this morning. This body has always felt like a prison to me, the bones a cage. Recently I have finally begun to 'walk' again, and its bliss. I dislike the term 'astral travel' simply because 'walker between worlds' is more correct. The spiritual realm is between and above and part of the physical one. Im always a part of it, and my life's work is strengthening that connection so I can always be in both worlds at once.

Of course, a skeptic will say this is all delusion, a trick of the mind. They are ready to apply this to the most pleasurable of feelings. Being on my side of it, I cant see where the lines are drawn. Meditation is just a mind trick. Spirits are a delusion of a sick mind. Belief in God is stupid, belief in the soul, idiotic. Any possible reason for anything not being explained scientifically is special pleading. When Im hearing this, its like they are little children with hands over ears screaming "LALALALA" because they cant bear to open their minds in that way. If they did believe, even a little, they'd be deluded. Stupid.

The problem, Ive found, is that none of these people have experienced a significant spiritual event where the scientific explanation simply doesnt fit. While I was chatting with some believers about auras and electro magnetic radiation, one skeptic piped up saying, 'it seems you are trying to jam a scientific explanation where is doesnt fit' or something to that affect. I agreed - it didnt fit, but just the same, when I was standing in my daughter's room, and I smelt gardenias and roses (neither of which I grow, and the windows were closed) and I knew, just KNEW, that the grandmother I had never known was here to see her great grand daughter. When you know, you KNOW. It cant be explained. They blame us for making science take up the slack, they say its not the scientific process, ok, I get that, but when you know what happened, but not how it happened, and you arent a scientist, what do you expect? The scientific explanation doesnt fit, it wasnt a delusion, I knew she was there, and my daughter knew too. Occasionally it has happened, that a scientifically minded person has a spiritual encounter. If it turns them into a believer, they are a loss to the community. A damn shame. Look everyone, he's now deluded.

It makes me really angry. But it shouldnt.

I'd like to recount one of my experiences. I know I could replicate this occurance, with a little time. Its not something I have now, but maybe in a few years.

I and four friends were into the supernatural. We chanted, meditated, held seances. I was driven by my need to contact a particularly powerful spirit. The five of us began to dream the same dreams. Every afternoon I and at least 2 others would meet, we werent always able to get all 5.

After a few weeks, we did get all five. The house was dark but for flickering candles. I was excited, I knew he'd been summoned, and now, he would come. Four of us sat at the board, one recording.

I called him up. It was like the board was electric - it seemed brighter than it was. There was no scraping of glass on wood - the glass was hovering slightly. We asked questions. I cant remember what he said, but it was visceral, frightening, because he was saying personal things. Things we had never told each other.

Then the glass began to move furiously between two letters. Two people dropped off, shocked. There was just me and one more person with a finger on the glass. "What is it saying?" I screamed.

"It says.....H. A. H. A...."

My finger and the other girls left the glass in shock, as it continued to move...HAHAHAHAHAHA.....It was laughing at us.

In fury, I grabbed the still moving glass and burnt out the inside of the glass with my central candle, saying the banishing words.

There were a few seances after that. Lightbulbs were broken, furniture moved, power outages of only the house we were in.

And to this day, I cant find anyone who will do a seace with me.
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Finding the right words

September 15th 2011 02:27
Finding the right words to describe things has been a goal of mine for some time - as a writer, its a common preoccupation. Some very lucky writers (like me) have the words come to them, and the hard work comes in finding the rest.

I'd like to start this post with an apology. Kalikapsychosis does not shy away from an apology when its needed, and this wont be the first or last time I issue one. I would like to apologise to anyone who read my post 'Aura' in 'Spells and magick' category,
Really Long Link

Because I have been using the wrong words. Both Kman and modern media can take some of the blame, but given that I started using the terms without investigating them properly means that the apology is solely mine.

For some time now I have been using EMP (ElectroMagnetic Pulse) to describe the human energy vibration, otherwise known as Aura. It has come to my attention that the term I am actually meaning to use in that same instance is EMR for ElectroMagnetic Radiation. I say sorry to anyone who used the term after hearing it from me, or took understandings from it that were not meant.

To clarify - I equate the human electromagnetic radiation with the human aura. They are one and the same, there is no difference between them. The word 'Aura' has been mismanged just as badly as the word 'God', and until we strip these words back to their original meanings, without the social inflections they suggest, no one is going to get anywhere, or worse, they will be going completely in the wrong direction.

Where did I come across this information? This information might surprise you - Kleo has joined the JREF (James Randi Educational Foundation) Forum. I was wandering around in Yahoo Answers - where you will find Little Kleo spending quite a bit of time - answering the paranormal questions, when someone mentioned the million dollar Randi prize, and how no one has ever claimed it.

I vaguely remembered something about it, so I must have heard of it, but on my quest to understand the spiritual in a scientific way I decided I must look into this, particularly, the applications, and see why no one has claimed it.

There is a vast misunderstanding between the psychic world and the scientific world, and it pains me greatly, because it doesnt need to be there. Its obvious that they are quite threatened by each other, which is ridiculous, because they are after the exact same thing - knowledge - and they are even taking remarkably similar steps to get there.

So I had a read over some claims. Some, I found interesting, but were rejected by the foundation (such as Iris Kaschubowski, who claims to talk to the animals) and I found that a little unfair, but at the end of the day, its their million, their rules. Any applicant who doesnt fit the criteria wont be accepted. Other claims were downright ridiculous. But the key issue is this.

To create what is scientifically accepted as supernatural or paranormal phenomena, the psychic must be in full control of their own EMR. They must be disciplined, knowledgeable, calm and have great humility. They must have an intricate knowledge of how their EMR impacts on others around them and be completely sure of the seen and the unseen world.

No one who has contacted the foundation has had these qualities. No one. None of the applicants even seem to have the most basic understanding of the otherworld or how it interacts with this one. Now, there are people I know who tick SOME of those boxes, and they would never enter because they know EMR is capricious at the best of times and they dont want to be made a fool of, they dont want their beliefs questioned when the majority of it is faith. This is only looked at as SPECIAL PLEADING and I want to eradicate that term - I want to prove that all the hocus pocus has its place in science. All these years, I thought it was the psychics barring the way, saying how their world was special and science could not intrude upon it lest it diminish its shimmer. Imagine my surprise to join the forum, and find it was not the psychics after all, but the scientists.

My thread was titled 'would you agree that energy is not static?' using a deliberate word play, trying to make a point about EMR being the same as the aura. Of course, I was saying EMP and was quickly blooded for it - but that was the point of diving in. To find out, exactly where the points of contention are and begin to ease them away.

Would you believe it took 3 pages of me trying to explain my point (in very clumsy laymans terms) and them telling me nothing I was talking about existed, before I started googling terms. More than once I was told auras dont exist, chakras dont exist, there is no device that can measure the energy you are talking about, because it doesnt exist. The amount of 'whys' were confusing me, because I thought the basis of scientific formula was 'just because'.

Well guess what.

A scientist DID invent a machine for measuring the human EMR, and it is called a SQUID (superconducting Quantum Interface Device) and everything I talked about in that thread is entirely plausible. A person directing energy through their chakras, or stimulating the nerve centres the chakras connect to, could be measured with the SQUID. A persons attempt to use telekineses could be measured with the SQUID. Ghosts could be measured with a SQUID. And for 3 pages, I was told these things did not exist, when all I was looking for were these simple, scientific terms.

A useful article can be found here
Really Long Link

On science measuring the human EMR and its effects.

I didnt join the forum to talk about the supernatural things that have happened to me, because I know that nothing I have could be considered proof. Thats okay, even though I was goaded many times. I certainly did not expect so many cheap shots when I hadnt given any of my own. If I had stood up and said, "Im a sorceress and I can prove it" I would have expected to be ripped to shreds, but starting a philosophical discussion, admitting from the get go that I did not have the correct language, well, lets just say from educated people, I expected a lot more. The only time Ive seen closed mindedness like that is on religious threads, and yes, they defend their creed as if it were the bible, and with the exact same infection. Its really disappionting.

But it shows me exactly what Im up against. And the higher they lift their principles, the further they will have to come crashing down when the impossible finally happens. But that is not even my intention.

I do intend to take the JREF challenge. But I would not enter the olympics without rigorous training, thus I will not undertake such testing without some serious work. More ritual and meditation can in the end only do me good, even if my goal is to use my EMR in way that was never intended in a humans hard wiring. I know that re routing the energy is going to damage me, probably quite significantly, but the fact remains -

I have turned skeptics into believers in under 5 minutes. I have had completely scientifically minded people concentrating their EMR and fall into a childlike winder over the sensation of it. Ive seen lightbulbs explode, heard manic laughter and seen grown men who said ghosts didnt exist beg and cry and scream for me to make it stop. If anyone who knew me would dare to hold a seance with me, I could replicate that experiment every day of the week.

But in the end, it wont be the science minded who hate me, it will be the psychics. Because Im not oogy boogying my way into their world to rock it with spiritual power. Im crawling in, submissive like, on my belly, asking them to teach me, because then I can show them exactly how to explain and categorize the spirit world using their own language.

Anyone can develop these abilities, and really what I want to know is, why dont they? AQnd even people who train for years still cant do certain things, and so another question we could answer with the right testing, is, why not?

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The Past and Future

November 12th 2010 02:53
Over the years I have enlisted the mental energies of my fellow Orblears for the purpose of positive change. We've moved house, beaten evil landlords, found homes for kittens, and prayed a very sick duck back into good health, and thats only to mention a few. Without doubt, if I had a problem and vented here on Orble, it wouldnt be long before the creaky obstacles in my way began to move away and show me the path to take to make things better.

I enlist you again, dear readers. Though few now on orble can actually be called sorcerers when once there were many, I believe in the power of positive thought in any human being, and any one of us can effect the invisible spaces, if they apply their mind. Belief is not even necessary, only your thoughts. I also know many who read me are not actually 'orbelears' as such, only involved by their readership and not active involvement on the site


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Pregnancy and Sorcery

August 19th 2010 02:10
Im not your common type of sorcerer - Im sure the word invokes images of new age nuts in flowing skirts and vibrant colours, adorned with beads and henna tattos. If not that, then lots of black, metal and eyeliner in goth/emo style.

Im commonly in cargos or trackies old singlets and my much loved work boots. Ok, today Im wearing crushed velvet pants that were a gift from one of those funky new age types, but just cos its too hot for trackies and my cargos are in the wash. Im a very plain jane type, straight boring hair and do my best to look nondescript


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Lodestone and Soladite

May 14th 2009 02:05
ICK.

I just got majorly thrown off my game by an ad on the radio.....advertising my new work place as OPEN! Today! I mean, yeah, Im happy to have a job even if my last pay packet barely breached $100. Thats what ya get for all your hard work....Times flying, I have to leave quite soon, the monthlies have hit, Oh, I feel like shit, but really, I shouldnt complain, the endometriosis is under control.....But still, man, its the monthlies


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In Love With Fantasy.....

May 12th 2009 01:25
Can I speak your name?

It seems like such insignificant candy in my mouth....Something to joke about, unreal, unreal


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Tarot and Shadows

March 31st 2009 00:59
While searching the orble for Tarot refrences, I found some of Wendi's comments. It reminded me of the days when opening orble every morning was like opening up a box of magic. So perhaps I will take Wendi's place - if I can - and bestow a little magic to you all. Of course, I cannot be relied upon to stick to topic.

As I mentioned, at this time of year I rip out the spell books. The weather today and for the next few days is destined to be rather witchy, so its not surprising that the book of shadows has come out again. Poor thing - I think I only ever get her out once a year. But I've decided that I no longer have to use the old ink pen, as that was one of the reasons that I never wrote in it. Ive been hunting down my old art books and images Ive been saving for years so I can continue to pattern the pages. She's always telling, me, 'not finished, not done, more, more...' and Im not sure what she wants. But Im going to start using it a lot


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The Human Animal

March 26th 2009 23:38
As the brontide lulled last night and the wind came screaming over the dry red dirt, the pressure finally broke. The mersyndol percolated through my system, my aches began to dissipate and once more, my thought processes began to run in a more accesable pattern. I began to feel, once more, human.

We say that a lot. 'Human'. 'Inhuman'. That crime was totally inhumane. But if it was performed by a human, what else could it have been? In the same breath as 'oh, he was inhuman' we profess that it is the faults and submission to temptation that make us human, exactly


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Winter

March 16th 2009 01:21
As usual at this time of year, its time for Kalikapsychosis to herald the coming of winter.

I know, TECHNICALLY its not here yet. TECHNICALLY we still got a few months to go. But the ice in the air tells me a different story


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Aura

February 18th 2009 03:17
The Aura is an electro magnetic field produced by your body. I encourage people to call it what it is - which is EMP. I know, 'Aura' makes you feel like a fairy princess, and EMP makes you feel like a toaster, but EMP is more correct and gets that much more respect from more people. When you start talking about Auras and spiritual dimensions, the sceptics will roll their eyes and shut you out. When, however, you can explain that you actually know a little about the nervous system, that the nerves 'speak' to each other through multiple electrical impulses that fire in harmony constantly throughout your body, and it is this electricity that specifically, creates your EMP in a sphere the exact dimensions of your physical body, you get that much more respect out of people who say they dont believe in 'hokus pokus'.

And if its not our job to bring spirituality to those people, then just what is the point? Those that flock to psychics are not, usually, on a quest for knowledge. They just want to know one thing - where is my soul mate? I swear, Im ready. You have to make them appear. Come on sorceress, prove it to me


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Kundalini

February 2nd 2009 04:04
MATURE CONTENT
   


Evolution of the soul

January 23rd 2009 04:20
MATURE CONTENT
   


Now, you guys know about my flu cure spaghetti - Ive tweaked the reciepe a bit. The herb bread was an experiment that was so damn tasty I decided I had to share it.

First of all, I need to warn you - making bread from scratch is HARD. It takes about 4 hours. If you are not prepared to be patient, slow and methodical, it will screw up. You have to understand that it is hard work and you will make lots of mistakes because bread, despite being such a simple thing, is really hard to make. You have to be prepared to sweat, and have aching arms by the time it triumphantly goes in the oven. This one, in particular, is very much worth it


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