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Kalikapsychosis - "Perfection is what its about. When you can feel, the perfection, of creation. The beauty of physics, the wonder of mathematics all the elation of action, and reaction, and that is the kind of perfection that I want to be connected to" - Sam, hooked into the data stream

Now, you guys know about my flu cure spaghetti - Ive tweaked the reciepe a bit. The herb bread was an experiment that was so damn tasty I decided I had to share it.

First of all, I need to warn you - making bread from scratch is HARD. It takes about 4 hours. If you are not prepared to be patient, slow and methodical, it will screw up. You have to understand that it is hard work and you will make lots of mistakes because bread, despite being such a simple thing, is really hard to make. You have to be prepared to sweat, and have aching arms by the time it triumphantly goes in the oven. This one, in particular, is very much worth it.

Also...My reciepes ramble a little. Bear with me. This is because I use 'whatever is available' in these hard times, and tweak reciepes to work if I dont have the right ingediants. You can do the same. This is a modified bread reciepe from mum.

HOMEMADE HERB BREAD

2 cups plain flour (plus a little more for sprinkling)

a half to three quarter cups warm water

Tablespoon of sugar

Lots of butter

1 seven gram sachet of yeast

Teaspoon of salt

2 tablespoons of dried mixed herbs

Any cheese you have handy

Ok, here we go. Your kitchen needs to be warm. For most of us, thats not a problem. If you have air conditioning, switch it off or divert it by closing doors so your kitchen is about 30 degrees. If its a cool day, keep your oven at 200 degrees. All windows closed - no drafts. This is because yeast is sensitive to temperature, and it needs a warm climate to do its stuff.

Also, you need to recognise bread is NOT cake. Bread cannot rise once its in the oven, as it forms a hard crust. The yeast will still try to expand which gives you cake like bread. Most people make that mistake. It does not taste that bad, but its very important if you want real bread, to let it fully rise before it goes in the oven. Im going to teach you how.

Mix together your dry stuff - 2 cups flour, yeast sachet, salt and sugar and one tablespoon of herbs. I just use whatever I can get cheap at the supermarket, you know the standard pack of dried mixed herbs. If anyone out there tries it with fresh, please let me know how it goes cos I think it would be better.

Ok, mix it up with a wooden sppon until you think its all together. Then form a well in the middle (I dont know why this works but it does) and fill a cup with about three quaters of warm water. Slowly add to the well and mix with your wooden spoon - YOU MAY NOT NEED TO USE IT ALL! You do not want it sloppy. You want it firm. It also shouldnt be too sticky. Once its hard to move with a spoon get your fingers in - collect all bits of dough off edges of the bowl and spoon and put it together - it should be easy to pick up and make a ball out of. If its too dry, bit more water. If too sloppy, bit more flour.

Now you need to sprinkle flour over a clean, flat bench, slap your dough down and start kneading. Kneading is so important - it forms the structure of your bread. You need to do it for at LEAST 20 minutes. Yes, It hurts! I like to put on a CD and knead for at least 3 or 4 songs. I use the heels of my hands as a rolling pin, push it flat then fold it over and roll again. You can never knead for too long (as far as the bread is concerned) and you will actually see the air bubbles coming up in the dough as you knead.

Get another (clean) PLASTIC bowl, grease all over with butter. Roll your dough into a ball shape and roll it around in the bowl, totally coating it in butter. You dont want your loaf to dry out, so make sure its fully coated. Then cover the bowl in glad wrap - seal it - and place on top of your warm oven.

If your kitchen is at 30 degrees anyway, the oven doesnt have to be on. This is just useful if the room is cool. You need to let the bread 'prove' for at least an hour. It must be in a very warm (but not hot!) place. If your loaf is in direct sunlight or somewhere too hot it will kill the yeast - cold air will do the same. I know, this is bloody complex isnt it? Just think of your poor grandma, she had to go through this everyday. If you have done it all right, when you come back in an hour the bread will at least have doubled in size, more if your lucky.

Leave the bread for a sec and grease up a small rectangle cake (or bread) tin. It cant be too big because the bread needs to swell and hit the edges to RISE. Leave your tin in a handy spot, put some flour and your remaining herbs on your kneading surface. Now take off the plastic wrap, (and this is the best part) PUNCH the crap outta that sucker! It gets rid of excess yeast, and its tons of fun. You will be assaulted by yeasty, herby smells as you punch away. Then pull out your dough, knead and knead and knead on your herbish, floured surface. Again, at least 20 minutes. Its harder now, as the loaf has real weight to it. I had to keep flicking my head to the side so I didnt drip sweat on the loaf...Not that it would have hurt it!

By the time you are done the loaf should not really be sticky at all and should smell really lovely. Basically knead until you are happy with it. Then it goes in your greased bake tin - like before, you cant let it dry out. Roll in butter, and make sure the top and sides are well lubricated. You can even brush over with milk for a nicer crust, and sprinkle over some sesame seeds (mice ate mine, dammit)

Now, you cant cover it with plastic wrap, because when it rises it will hit it. The best method I have found for the second prove is to place a deep plastic bowl on top of the tin (which should be in the same warm spot you put the loaf last time) and then cover with tea towels so there are NO HOLES WHERE AIR GETS IN. This time let it prove as long as possible. I proved mine for two hours.

When you get back, the dough should have expanded - hoit the edges of the tin and rose up up UP!! Now you can put it in the oven, which should be at an even 200 degrees (thats celsius) it should only need to actually bake for half an hour, but watch the top turning brown. Its a personal prefrence how dark the crust is.

When you get him out of the oven, get it out of the tin quick smart, and let it cool on a wire rack. Its not good for bread to sweat. When almost ready to serve spaghetti, slice it up. I happened to have some garlic flavoured cream cheese that I spread on mine, but any butter will do. Next, sprinkle grated cheese over your slices - we only had home brand tasty, which I ran out of, so I had to throw some grated vintage on too. You can melt it in the grill, but that will harden and possibly burn the bread. I oiled up a big oven tin, put my slices in the oil and put them in the oven for ten minutes while I was serving the spagetti. Utterly delicious, especially when dipped in your spaghetti sauce!

FLU CURE SPAGETTI

1 kilo budget (regular) beef mince

2 jars of raguletto 'garlic and herbs' sauce

2 bay leaves

dried mixed herbs

1 teaspoon of dried garlic flakes

1 teaspoon of beef stock

half a brown onion, finely chopped

(I had no access to fresh ingrediants, as with above reciepe, please let me know if you have used fresh stuff and let me know how tasty it was)

NOTE: Tomato is a natural antioxodant and antibiotic - it also aids in the absorption of the nutrients in the other ingediants. For that reason, you cannot get enough tomato. Feel free to add a tin of chopped, some fresh ones, or even some tomato paste. I have done all of these at different times - depending on whats in my cupboard - all have been a success.

Basically, the changes in this reciepe refer primarily to METHOD.

Put some oil in your fry pan, put in mince, onion, garlic, beef stock, and a good sprinkling of herbs, maybe a dash of pepper and your bay leaves. Mix it up. Cover the fry pan and put it on a low to medium heat - walk away for 5 minutes or so. When you get back The meat will be simmering in lots of fat released by itself - but also vital antibiotic juices coming from the herbs and onion. YOU DO NOT WANT TO LOSE THIS JUICE!! It is vital to the antibiotic properties of the meal. Turn the fry pan up a bit and toss everything around until you are certain the mince is all broken down and almost totally cooked - its going to simmer so dont stress a bit of red.

Put in your jars of sauce, making sure you put a little water in the jars to get it all out. You can add other tomatoy products now too. Mix it really well, and cover it and put it on a very low heat. This can be hard with an electric fry pan because they stay too hot. Perservere. It needs to simmer on a very low heat for about half an hour, longer is better, I have simmered this for over an hour. Be careful not to burn it, which is easy in electric fry pans. Everytime you come back to stir, the cover of the pan will be full of 'water'. DO NOT LOSE THIS LIQUID! Lift the lid and tilt it so it runs into the sauce and stir it in.

When you are ready to serve, put your pasta on (Seriously, I dont need to tell you how to boil pasta do I?) we like fetuccine but anything is good. Spirals shells, good ol spaghetti, whatever you like. Once your pasta is on its way, take the lid off without losing the juice of course. Then leave the lid off, and keep it on a slow heat, stirring a lot to keep it off the bottom. You need to dehydrate it a bit now, which will happen through the simmering and stirring.

When the pasta is cooked to your preference and strained, throw it all together - dont forget your yummy bread, as if you could, with that yummy herb smell in the kitchen! Man, be sure to dip that cheese running herb bread in your sauce, IT IS DIVINE!!

The best thing about this spagetti sauce is it does two people for two days. Put the left over in a bowl, cover and store in fridge to microwave the next night. Its awesome girls - no cooking on the second night! Unless you want the bread again...But feel free to torture yourself there!

I have heard - and can personally attest - that this sauce is very yummy cold served on sandwiches.

NOW: FREE HINT -Girls, Im sure you know this already. Sorry to be sexist but this is usually true. You can severely deplete your workload by washing your utensils at the end of each stage of bread making. Your mixing bowls and spoons and stuff, yanno? If you do not wash at each stage you will have a very messy kitchen...In my experience guys never think of things like that, but thats Kleo's tip.
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