Stupor
November 7th 2007 07:42
Ive lost a poem.
I hate that, have you got any idea how much I hate that? I mean, I wrote it, I left it in my backpack, and now its not there. There are other, quite vital pieces of writing that Ive lost. It disturbs me. How can I lose something so important?
Its a different feeling but still a scary one, to discover a poem. To go through an old folder or book and see a poem in your on handwriting and say, "Gee, when the hell did I write that?"
But I digress. The days are wearing on me. Somehow, my spirits are kept up. I mean, this is unbelievable, Im usually a very grouchy person. And Ive got a lot of loose ends to be grouchy about. But I cant stop grinning. Its bizarre.
Im up so early. Ive managed to get home quite early, but I have so much to do. And thats just to catch up. Then, to try and fit some me time on top...Well, it just doesnt happen.
There is a haze, a sweet golden stupor, that envelopes those who work hard and long everyday. It seems to have some kind of endorphin, a particular flavour of serotonin, so that you can believe all is good and well, you feel pride at your dirt stained hands, your muscles, even though theyre dead tired, you even feel a deep sense of achievement that you are so tired and so overworked, yet still so alert. So much better than those people who dont know exhaustion.
But.....They call it a 'stupor' for a reason. That feel good essence is more than likely a kind of oxygen depravation. Those pretty colours in everything really just the blaze that ocurrs just before you pass out. The sad truth is, these people will live shorter, less fulfilling lives.
And.....The most useful affect of this stupor is that it makes you pliable. Oh, sure, you'll get excited about things, but you're too damn tired to actually get up and do something about it.
Too tired to do something about a lot of things.
I hate that, have you got any idea how much I hate that? I mean, I wrote it, I left it in my backpack, and now its not there. There are other, quite vital pieces of writing that Ive lost. It disturbs me. How can I lose something so important?
Its a different feeling but still a scary one, to discover a poem. To go through an old folder or book and see a poem in your on handwriting and say, "Gee, when the hell did I write that?"
But I digress. The days are wearing on me. Somehow, my spirits are kept up. I mean, this is unbelievable, Im usually a very grouchy person. And Ive got a lot of loose ends to be grouchy about. But I cant stop grinning. Its bizarre.
Im up so early. Ive managed to get home quite early, but I have so much to do. And thats just to catch up. Then, to try and fit some me time on top...Well, it just doesnt happen.
There is a haze, a sweet golden stupor, that envelopes those who work hard and long everyday. It seems to have some kind of endorphin, a particular flavour of serotonin, so that you can believe all is good and well, you feel pride at your dirt stained hands, your muscles, even though theyre dead tired, you even feel a deep sense of achievement that you are so tired and so overworked, yet still so alert. So much better than those people who dont know exhaustion.
But.....They call it a 'stupor' for a reason. That feel good essence is more than likely a kind of oxygen depravation. Those pretty colours in everything really just the blaze that ocurrs just before you pass out. The sad truth is, these people will live shorter, less fulfilling lives.
And.....The most useful affect of this stupor is that it makes you pliable. Oh, sure, you'll get excited about things, but you're too damn tired to actually get up and do something about it.
Too tired to do something about a lot of things.
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Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
You have captured the essence so well. It describes my husband and his endless long hrs.
I hope you find your poem. I would be peeved too...and that's being polite!
Tracy
Comment by What's Your Story?
What's Your Story?
Big Day Plunge
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
ug U feel like that at the moment too. And no sleep - just feels as though I have been nanny napping for about the past 6 months.
But you are so right in your descriptions - your body goes into this different world where your muscles are so tired that they feel completely relaxed and zoned out..... like the mind really!
As long as you have your goal in mind I`m sure you will get through it .
Ash
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Lovely to see you, and thanks....I was sure that plenty of people would relate so well to that part.
I did find it.....Im putting it up, thanks!
Whats Your Story?
Hi and welcome! Thankyou so much for your complimentary comment!
Ash,
Yeah, nanny napping. I sleep on the train there and back, I go to bed as early as I can, I sleep in at every oppurtunity, why do I still need MORE?
And I tend to get through things whether I want to or not!
Thanks so much for stoppin in, hope alls well with you.
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
That's brilliant you found your poem!
Tracy