The Dream ( The Vampire Returneth)
February 20th 2008 05:26
Now I had a big post on visual verbals planned. Its in the works, but I recieved a visit from an old mate today, and Ive still got some important work to do, so Im opting to tell you about my dream instead....More sketches will just have to wait.
You can tell me Im crazy, thats ok, but plenty of people do. It doesnt bother me. But I DO believe in vampires....And I have done since I was 14. I had a very good friend tell me once that what actually IS crazy is the inability to believe in things, no matter how 'crazy' they may seem. His reasoning is that the world is a wide place, with so much to discover, and no one can truly know all the secrets it contains. Therefore, one must keep an open mind.
Ive mentioned this before, multiple times. But at 14 I began to believe I was going crazy.....Because I was having the most vivid dreams of my life. If that wasnt bad enough, my friends started to have THE EXACT same dreams. Now we were doing things we shouldnt have been doing, (Think 'The Craft') and I believe that a psychic link was created between us, and between my best friend and I, it still exists, but as physical and mental closeness with the others girls lessened, the dreams became all mine.
In an empty house, NOT ASLEEP I would hear floorboards creaking like someone was walking up the hallway. No one there. Sometimes the dogs would run wagging to a certain chair...But no one was in it. Behind me, a chair being pulled out - But no one there. The sudden sharp tang of a man's cologne....No one there. And, the most frightening, a whisper in my ear.....Not the whispering so much, as I was already hearing voices quite regularly, it was the explosion of breath on my cheek and the sudden heat that spelled proximity to a person that made me leap from my chair across the room....But all that was there was echoes of laughter.
Yes, Im aware, hallucinations of this strength are common in people with a full blown psychosis. Yes, I am aware, in speaking to spirits and calling them up, they could easily have been preying upon what was in my mind....And the unbelievable host of 'normal' cricumstance that could explain all these things.....But the problem is, I just dont buy it.
Ive always trusted my instincts, because they never lead me wrong. The older I get, the more factors crowd in to obscure my instinctual judgement, but at that time, it was pretty clean. And.....Ive never known any spirit able to leave an unopened white rose on a pillow....Of course, I was dreaming of a white rose, bloodstained torn curtains and screaming while I lay unmoved in bed. My mind may have created it. But there was no one home, I did not have a boyfriend - I awoke to find my protection spell candle had blown out and there lay the rose. Like a screaming banner saying - PROOF!
When I probe my instincts over these dreams they come up with nothing save......Beyond... which reads to me that the origin is beyond my auras grasp. Most dreams can be sorted through and analysed like a good poem, and no matter how real and vibrant, I can find the source wether its a spirit I know or my own psyche.
And I thought they were gone.....I thought they were over. I had one early last year, at about this time, Winter's onset. I thought it was a fluke.
Last night was a familiar pattern.
Im hunting vampires with a small group. They have no idea that Im not actually with them to kill vampires, Im here to FIND one! We enter into a small decrepit building and find our prey - stereotyped in long trenchcoat and handsome as the devil. We surround, and they begin to fight, and by the time he turns to me the other three are knocked out and one disabled.
And thats where I turn on them.
The vampire and I lock eyes. He can read my mind and laughs heartily, and I surprise him with my own telepathic powers - pushing the scent of my skin and the roaring of my excited pulse into his mind. The smile he has now is entirely different, as he knows Im not a normal human. The other members of the crew who are still conciouss are screaming at me, but I cant hear them. I dont care. He flies towards me. The grip of his hands on my body are powerfully erotic even though its painful - One hand in a claw grip behind my head, the other on my waist, and it feels like I'll be snapped in two. Im afraid, but thats expected. He enjoys the scent of my fear for a moment, a True Predator, utterly amazed that I can be afraid and yet still keen, still offerring myself, even though he's made no promise - he may simply kill me.
The hands wrench my body and the fangs go in - The smash of pain into my neck is unbelievable but quickly eclipsed by the sensuous pleasure of my blood being drawn through the two wounds. I swear, this feeling is more real than any sensation Ive experienced while awake. It is ecstatic rapture, true sensuality, in every nerve - surely I must have been moaning (what the hell did Kman think I was dreaming about) and the pain and pleasure of it is ripping through me as I feel my blood finally beginning to run out.
He presents his neck, and its a hardcore vampire rule that human teeth cant pierce their skin. Yet mine do, to his surprise, which I can feel as I puncture his neck with a similar force as to what he visited on me. The feeding is massively erotic, no pain this time only the conquer of the kill and the power of the blood.
But my old pals are getting up. They were only stunned and now coming after us. We run. We run through dreamscapes Ive often visited but always return to the decrepit buildings - built too close together, paint peeling and in unflattering colours, window sills disintegrating under our feet as we escape the silly hunters time and time again.
We feed on each other - we have sex, not make love, which I do not believe vampires can do - and that seems to go on for hours, somehow I know Im dreaming, but I dont want it to be, I dont want it to stop. I want to live in this dream, this place that has teased me for so long. If its going to come as a dream, its not allowed to be more vivid than real life, evoke more feeling, passion and intensity. Its just not allowed.
Yet it does, and through my fuddlement the real and dream worlds blur and suddenly my mother has become one of the hunters. She's become a believer of the old adage - that a vampire is not its host. So Im not there, something stole my body and is walking around in it. We lose her repeatedly, and in the end it takes my solemn promise that I am, indeed, ME and I fully intend to take care of all my earthly responsabilities....With my unearthly powers. Money usually gets her on side and the accumulation of cash is not a hard thing for a vampire.
I was awoken by something, Im not sure what. But I saw the sun in the sky and I knew you were in your coffin now.....So Ive sent you some sweet dreams of me......And Im asking what Ive always asked....
Who....?
Where....?
Why...?
For if its real, how long can this go on? Oh, he's got all the time in the world.....But it would not be fun to be undead when Im 80, Im sure.
Call me crazy. Most people do. But SOMETHING is there, something causes these dreams to be as real as they are.....And its easy to call it a vampire, until I think of something better.
You can tell me Im crazy, thats ok, but plenty of people do. It doesnt bother me. But I DO believe in vampires....And I have done since I was 14. I had a very good friend tell me once that what actually IS crazy is the inability to believe in things, no matter how 'crazy' they may seem. His reasoning is that the world is a wide place, with so much to discover, and no one can truly know all the secrets it contains. Therefore, one must keep an open mind.
Ive mentioned this before, multiple times. But at 14 I began to believe I was going crazy.....Because I was having the most vivid dreams of my life. If that wasnt bad enough, my friends started to have THE EXACT same dreams. Now we were doing things we shouldnt have been doing, (Think 'The Craft') and I believe that a psychic link was created between us, and between my best friend and I, it still exists, but as physical and mental closeness with the others girls lessened, the dreams became all mine.
In an empty house, NOT ASLEEP I would hear floorboards creaking like someone was walking up the hallway. No one there. Sometimes the dogs would run wagging to a certain chair...But no one was in it. Behind me, a chair being pulled out - But no one there. The sudden sharp tang of a man's cologne....No one there. And, the most frightening, a whisper in my ear.....Not the whispering so much, as I was already hearing voices quite regularly, it was the explosion of breath on my cheek and the sudden heat that spelled proximity to a person that made me leap from my chair across the room....But all that was there was echoes of laughter.
Yes, Im aware, hallucinations of this strength are common in people with a full blown psychosis. Yes, I am aware, in speaking to spirits and calling them up, they could easily have been preying upon what was in my mind....And the unbelievable host of 'normal' cricumstance that could explain all these things.....But the problem is, I just dont buy it.
Ive always trusted my instincts, because they never lead me wrong. The older I get, the more factors crowd in to obscure my instinctual judgement, but at that time, it was pretty clean. And.....Ive never known any spirit able to leave an unopened white rose on a pillow....Of course, I was dreaming of a white rose, bloodstained torn curtains and screaming while I lay unmoved in bed. My mind may have created it. But there was no one home, I did not have a boyfriend - I awoke to find my protection spell candle had blown out and there lay the rose. Like a screaming banner saying - PROOF!
When I probe my instincts over these dreams they come up with nothing save......Beyond... which reads to me that the origin is beyond my auras grasp. Most dreams can be sorted through and analysed like a good poem, and no matter how real and vibrant, I can find the source wether its a spirit I know or my own psyche.
And I thought they were gone.....I thought they were over. I had one early last year, at about this time, Winter's onset. I thought it was a fluke.
Last night was a familiar pattern.
Im hunting vampires with a small group. They have no idea that Im not actually with them to kill vampires, Im here to FIND one! We enter into a small decrepit building and find our prey - stereotyped in long trenchcoat and handsome as the devil. We surround, and they begin to fight, and by the time he turns to me the other three are knocked out and one disabled.
And thats where I turn on them.
The vampire and I lock eyes. He can read my mind and laughs heartily, and I surprise him with my own telepathic powers - pushing the scent of my skin and the roaring of my excited pulse into his mind. The smile he has now is entirely different, as he knows Im not a normal human. The other members of the crew who are still conciouss are screaming at me, but I cant hear them. I dont care. He flies towards me. The grip of his hands on my body are powerfully erotic even though its painful - One hand in a claw grip behind my head, the other on my waist, and it feels like I'll be snapped in two. Im afraid, but thats expected. He enjoys the scent of my fear for a moment, a True Predator, utterly amazed that I can be afraid and yet still keen, still offerring myself, even though he's made no promise - he may simply kill me.
The hands wrench my body and the fangs go in - The smash of pain into my neck is unbelievable but quickly eclipsed by the sensuous pleasure of my blood being drawn through the two wounds. I swear, this feeling is more real than any sensation Ive experienced while awake. It is ecstatic rapture, true sensuality, in every nerve - surely I must have been moaning (what the hell did Kman think I was dreaming about) and the pain and pleasure of it is ripping through me as I feel my blood finally beginning to run out.
He presents his neck, and its a hardcore vampire rule that human teeth cant pierce their skin. Yet mine do, to his surprise, which I can feel as I puncture his neck with a similar force as to what he visited on me. The feeding is massively erotic, no pain this time only the conquer of the kill and the power of the blood.
But my old pals are getting up. They were only stunned and now coming after us. We run. We run through dreamscapes Ive often visited but always return to the decrepit buildings - built too close together, paint peeling and in unflattering colours, window sills disintegrating under our feet as we escape the silly hunters time and time again.
We feed on each other - we have sex, not make love, which I do not believe vampires can do - and that seems to go on for hours, somehow I know Im dreaming, but I dont want it to be, I dont want it to stop. I want to live in this dream, this place that has teased me for so long. If its going to come as a dream, its not allowed to be more vivid than real life, evoke more feeling, passion and intensity. Its just not allowed.
Yet it does, and through my fuddlement the real and dream worlds blur and suddenly my mother has become one of the hunters. She's become a believer of the old adage - that a vampire is not its host. So Im not there, something stole my body and is walking around in it. We lose her repeatedly, and in the end it takes my solemn promise that I am, indeed, ME and I fully intend to take care of all my earthly responsabilities....With my unearthly powers. Money usually gets her on side and the accumulation of cash is not a hard thing for a vampire.
I was awoken by something, Im not sure what. But I saw the sun in the sky and I knew you were in your coffin now.....So Ive sent you some sweet dreams of me......And Im asking what Ive always asked....
Who....?
Where....?
Why...?
For if its real, how long can this go on? Oh, he's got all the time in the world.....But it would not be fun to be undead when Im 80, Im sure.
Call me crazy. Most people do. But SOMETHING is there, something causes these dreams to be as real as they are.....And its easy to call it a vampire, until I think of something better.
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Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Hmmm, vampire huh?
...you know they are a dream symbol which appear during the time when heavy demands are being made upon us which we don't feel capable meeting. Sexually, he represents our fears of sexual relationships, as he does life-threatening evil in our lives. Frued believed this to be asymbol of patients with a 'fantastical' view on the realms of evil and cautioned reservation to their minds.
I believe the Gypsy's have this one right, because they say that when he appears and attacks you, it is a sign of you being 'sucked dry/drained' by another's dependency; or being weakened by another (stronger persons) will. Folklore says it is also a dream of warning against thieves and other insidious persons.
You attacking back is a bit of a worry?
There is so much more here... I'll have to come back when I have more time.
Cheers
Lilla ...
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
My love I so appreciate your presence here....I do not and have never seen vampires as an evil symbol...Someone draining me specifically would be mother...No real surprise to me that she showed up in the dream. But I am being drained from every quater, everyone I know and my job and my animals....
I do not see it as an 'attack' either. I actually told someone in the dream (one of the hunters) that the greatest thrill was standing before him and offerring myself whether it was for death or immortality, the thrill was about the offerring itself. I see the sharing of blood to be the absolute hight of erotisism and love.
These dreams have visited me year after year and I always love them and crave more of them, not nightmares no way...Not like the one I had last night! You know the ones that are so well blended with reality that you think you have woken up? Thats true fear!