The family do - take 2?
January 8th 2008 01:54
In my previous post I mentioned the family do. I alluded that, with my MRI on saturday, we now had the perfect excuse for opting out. All the bloodsucking scum that share less than a quarter of my blood would say "Oh, dear, of course we understand. We hope she gets better soon" And that would be that.
SIGH.....That wasnt that at all. Mum came charging in like a conquerer after a very loud chat with my uncle(the gracious host) and said - "That was your uncle, he said he EXPECTS YOU TO BE THERE! All the girls will be there, and your brother - "
WHOA!! I had to interrupt there. The same brother who abused you for loving your dead horse more than him when you had the name of the horse tattoed on your hip? The same brother whose been in and out of jail for various things, and who, whenever given yet another 'second chance' manages to steal every cent of your cash, rip everything out of the house (even if it is bolted down) and leave a nice stinky mess to boot?
I dont think I roared - but then again I might have - "He can 'expect' all he bloody well wants - Im not going to be there." "Aw, come on -" mum started but I wouldnt let it finish.
"Dont bloody come on me. Im having an MRI on saturday and I deserve to bloody rest before I go back to work!"
She rushed off in a huff. Id taken a nice dreamy mercyndol and was feeling it kick in when Kman says, "You know, Ive never met your family." "yeah?" I answered, "Pray you dont." "Aw come on K," he says, "It cant be that bad."
I turn to him. "Not that bad? Not. That. Bad. Hmmn. Let me tell you, its deceptive. You'll look around. You'll see bright chatting, drinks in hands and colourful clothes. Then you'll notice the undercurrent..."
Say, my auntie leaves the room. The onslaught begins by the siblings - mum included.
"Did you SEE how drunk she is? My god, she cant go anywhere without a drink in her hand. You know she lost her house again? Yeah, I know its so pathetic after all this time....Shes just drinking herself to death. I know, we're her family, we should really do something....(if only we werent having so much fun) Does she still down beers first thing in the morning? Oh, its scotch now. You know, Im not surprised....Drunken harlot, brought this family into shame she has.....You know what they say about her on the truckies radio dont you? Oh, I know, such a shame....Oh! There you are dear! I see youve refreshed your drink."
Say, the cracious host, Uncle1 leaves the room.
" He thinks hes so fucking good doesnt he? Who the hell does he think he is, looking so good and athletic at his age? Surfing every morning my arse - its surgery for sure. No one looks that good from just surfing. And you know, he just has to host these things doesnt he? Got to show off his beautiful house with the beach views and the city skyline behind it....I know, he says hes broke but the land rates alone must be astronomical. And theyre going on another cruise....Yeah, around the world again. We should all be so lucky. He doesnt spread it around does he? No, just invites us up here to rub it in our faces....Oh! There you are darl! You know I just love this new extension on the house, must have cost you a fortune!"
If uncle2 leaves the room.
" You'd think losing an arm would have toned him down a bit...Does he have to wear those dirty T shirts? They always have the most offensive slogans....Well, yes, I know, he is the least intelligent of the brood isnt he? Got to make allowances for him in that way. So very sad the way all his brood have gone - yes, I know, they dont even call him anymore. Such a tradgedy. He must be so lonely. Oh, I know, it'll be suicide for him next christmas, thats for sure.....Oh, there you are hon! Now tell me, when did you last hear from the brood?"
Now. Mum has these grand delusions that arriving at the party with me on her arm will make her immune to all this. Regardless of whether Im there or not.....When mum leaves the room.....
"There she goes, the crazy one.....You know shes still got those useless horses? Oh, I know, shes got it into her head that its a business or something....I mean, it'd be cute if she was younger but at her age? And she still cant hold down a man....Well, we all know what shes like to live with, its no wonder really. Shes such a featherhead. Thank god that crazy daughter of hers didnt come this time, she always makes me nervous. You know, shes officially crazy? Got a psychiatrist and everything....hehe yeah I know, all her kids are as crazy as her arent they? Oh, there you are....So, why didnt K come again? And wheres that other one? The one whose gay or something?"
It doesnt end there. It extends to spouses too. Shes too fat, whatever. The drunker they all get the further down the family line it goes until theyre mercilessly ripping apart the actions of 14 year old second cousins.
And Im supposed to give up a precious sunday for that?
Heres the kicker - ooo your gonna love this. GayBro and I have a special connection. We dont talk much, we're not what you call friends. But allies against a common enemy? Definitely. That enemy is the family, and its representative - mum. We often call each other to spout off about the usual claw grip of mums obsession, and usually the family stay well out of it.
Out of curiosity, I msged GayBro. " are you getting hassled about sunday?"
No. Heard nothing.
AAARRGGH!!!! So Im getting a merciless onslaught while HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW THERES A FAMILY THING ON!!! WHY WHY WHY!!!???
Why am I 'expected' to go when Im decidedly mental at the moment, having a complex medical procedure on sat, while Gay Bro has just been 'expected' not to care, and not to show up?
Last night I barely got a grunt from mum when I said goodnight. I wouldnt have bothered at all, but Im still scarred from the night in my teenage years I just went to bed and was woken up for a savage onslaught on why its so very rude to go to bed without saying goodnight. I should mention, its perfectly alright for her to do it, but if I do it, its sinful.
So this morning Kman rings. Chat. Yeah, whatever. He rings again in a little while, and I can forsee where the day is going - broken up by endless, useless phone calls. With an air of triumph, I switch off the little bitch, and pitch her firmly towards the open portal of the door. She swings through the air.....And satisfying "Kthunk, Kthungs" determine that yes, she has just gone right down the hallway. Although my phone is precious to me, I dont chase it down, I dont look for it, I dont go and see if its all in one place. Im unreachable today, thankyou. Im parked in front of my computer and Ive had you all up to the eyeballs with your goddamn 'EXPECTATIONS'.
As King would say - I slang it forth.
And Im reading and Im writing, when I smell gardenias......This house is full of spirits, and my older sister Cass has been with me strongly for the last few weeks. For those of you who dont know, Cassandra is the embryo who 'caught' before me, yet was miscarried. Shes as real to me as anyone with a physical body. We got Brian, who lives here and (I think) died here, we got grampa, and mums twin Jarrod who died at birth. Plus countless others. Once, the insightful Lilla told me she smelled Gardenias.....Which is Grandma.
So I smelled them quite clearly, filtering through the vanilla caramel sandalwood of my altar today. I said "Grandma!" all happy. Only to hear her voice (Which Ive never known - both grandparents died when I was one) telling me I had to go to the family thing. Sadly I reacted the same way I do to mum - "You tell me why I should waste a rest day on it! Come ON grandma! Ive missed out on THREE count em THREE parties by girls I havent seen in years because Im working so hard - all Im trying to do is cobble together enough energy to work my OWN horses, now Ive got an MRI and a new house to inspect on the same day we have to order feed and grocery shop - and everyone wants me to waste one of my precious days on this stupidity! NO NO NO!!"
Shes thinking. Im sure mum sent her, and grandma didnt have my side of the story. Not quite so cut and dried now is it?
But the funniest thing, really, is that youd imagine IM the one being childish. You wouldnt think that if you saw how mum looks - face all screwed up, bottom lip pouting like shes gonna cry. Shes like a petulant four year old being told she cant have a lolly.
Its funny....I can see the party. I cant quite see myself there, not yet. Kman said he'd go....Without me, and that would be fucking strange, not to mention cruel - they'll rip the poor bastard to shreds. "Oh, your a toolmaker? Where did you go to school? (no wonder hes just a toolmaker) Where did you grow up? (must be a drug dealer - or a gang leader) What do you do in your spare time? Video games? (What a LOSER...)"
Youve got to understand - these people layed the foundations for the cold Hard Bitch of an Ice Queen I am now. Years of merciless teasing at school only concreted it. The Golden Rules to mind games - Never react, always bluff, and arm yourself however you can. Know when to strike and how. Im a champion, really, and I know, thats more than half the reason mum wants me there. I was looking forward to going, to playing, to stomping. Fuck YOU
I WIN.
But I dont know if I can defend myself in a weakened state. Id rather not take the chance. Gaybro is a pro as well, and just as fine and glittering of a trophy. Why doesnt she take HIM instead and tell stories? Hes much more prestigous than this little shit kicker.
Sigh. The fight shall continue.
SIGH.....That wasnt that at all. Mum came charging in like a conquerer after a very loud chat with my uncle(the gracious host) and said - "That was your uncle, he said he EXPECTS YOU TO BE THERE! All the girls will be there, and your brother - "
WHOA!! I had to interrupt there. The same brother who abused you for loving your dead horse more than him when you had the name of the horse tattoed on your hip? The same brother whose been in and out of jail for various things, and who, whenever given yet another 'second chance' manages to steal every cent of your cash, rip everything out of the house (even if it is bolted down) and leave a nice stinky mess to boot?
I dont think I roared - but then again I might have - "He can 'expect' all he bloody well wants - Im not going to be there." "Aw, come on -" mum started but I wouldnt let it finish.
"Dont bloody come on me. Im having an MRI on saturday and I deserve to bloody rest before I go back to work!"
She rushed off in a huff. Id taken a nice dreamy mercyndol and was feeling it kick in when Kman says, "You know, Ive never met your family." "yeah?" I answered, "Pray you dont." "Aw come on K," he says, "It cant be that bad."
I turn to him. "Not that bad? Not. That. Bad. Hmmn. Let me tell you, its deceptive. You'll look around. You'll see bright chatting, drinks in hands and colourful clothes. Then you'll notice the undercurrent..."
Say, my auntie leaves the room. The onslaught begins by the siblings - mum included.
"Did you SEE how drunk she is? My god, she cant go anywhere without a drink in her hand. You know she lost her house again? Yeah, I know its so pathetic after all this time....Shes just drinking herself to death. I know, we're her family, we should really do something....(if only we werent having so much fun) Does she still down beers first thing in the morning? Oh, its scotch now. You know, Im not surprised....Drunken harlot, brought this family into shame she has.....You know what they say about her on the truckies radio dont you? Oh, I know, such a shame....Oh! There you are dear! I see youve refreshed your drink."
Say, the cracious host, Uncle1 leaves the room.
" He thinks hes so fucking good doesnt he? Who the hell does he think he is, looking so good and athletic at his age? Surfing every morning my arse - its surgery for sure. No one looks that good from just surfing. And you know, he just has to host these things doesnt he? Got to show off his beautiful house with the beach views and the city skyline behind it....I know, he says hes broke but the land rates alone must be astronomical. And theyre going on another cruise....Yeah, around the world again. We should all be so lucky. He doesnt spread it around does he? No, just invites us up here to rub it in our faces....Oh! There you are darl! You know I just love this new extension on the house, must have cost you a fortune!"
If uncle2 leaves the room.
" You'd think losing an arm would have toned him down a bit...Does he have to wear those dirty T shirts? They always have the most offensive slogans....Well, yes, I know, he is the least intelligent of the brood isnt he? Got to make allowances for him in that way. So very sad the way all his brood have gone - yes, I know, they dont even call him anymore. Such a tradgedy. He must be so lonely. Oh, I know, it'll be suicide for him next christmas, thats for sure.....Oh, there you are hon! Now tell me, when did you last hear from the brood?"
Now. Mum has these grand delusions that arriving at the party with me on her arm will make her immune to all this. Regardless of whether Im there or not.....When mum leaves the room.....
"There she goes, the crazy one.....You know shes still got those useless horses? Oh, I know, shes got it into her head that its a business or something....I mean, it'd be cute if she was younger but at her age? And she still cant hold down a man....Well, we all know what shes like to live with, its no wonder really. Shes such a featherhead. Thank god that crazy daughter of hers didnt come this time, she always makes me nervous. You know, shes officially crazy? Got a psychiatrist and everything....hehe yeah I know, all her kids are as crazy as her arent they? Oh, there you are....So, why didnt K come again? And wheres that other one? The one whose gay or something?"
It doesnt end there. It extends to spouses too. Shes too fat, whatever. The drunker they all get the further down the family line it goes until theyre mercilessly ripping apart the actions of 14 year old second cousins.
And Im supposed to give up a precious sunday for that?
Heres the kicker - ooo your gonna love this. GayBro and I have a special connection. We dont talk much, we're not what you call friends. But allies against a common enemy? Definitely. That enemy is the family, and its representative - mum. We often call each other to spout off about the usual claw grip of mums obsession, and usually the family stay well out of it.
Out of curiosity, I msged GayBro. " are you getting hassled about sunday?"
No. Heard nothing.
AAARRGGH!!!! So Im getting a merciless onslaught while HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW THERES A FAMILY THING ON!!! WHY WHY WHY!!!???
Why am I 'expected' to go when Im decidedly mental at the moment, having a complex medical procedure on sat, while Gay Bro has just been 'expected' not to care, and not to show up?
Last night I barely got a grunt from mum when I said goodnight. I wouldnt have bothered at all, but Im still scarred from the night in my teenage years I just went to bed and was woken up for a savage onslaught on why its so very rude to go to bed without saying goodnight. I should mention, its perfectly alright for her to do it, but if I do it, its sinful.
So this morning Kman rings. Chat. Yeah, whatever. He rings again in a little while, and I can forsee where the day is going - broken up by endless, useless phone calls. With an air of triumph, I switch off the little bitch, and pitch her firmly towards the open portal of the door. She swings through the air.....And satisfying "Kthunk, Kthungs" determine that yes, she has just gone right down the hallway. Although my phone is precious to me, I dont chase it down, I dont look for it, I dont go and see if its all in one place. Im unreachable today, thankyou. Im parked in front of my computer and Ive had you all up to the eyeballs with your goddamn 'EXPECTATIONS'.
As King would say - I slang it forth.
And Im reading and Im writing, when I smell gardenias......This house is full of spirits, and my older sister Cass has been with me strongly for the last few weeks. For those of you who dont know, Cassandra is the embryo who 'caught' before me, yet was miscarried. Shes as real to me as anyone with a physical body. We got Brian, who lives here and (I think) died here, we got grampa, and mums twin Jarrod who died at birth. Plus countless others. Once, the insightful Lilla told me she smelled Gardenias.....Which is Grandma.
So I smelled them quite clearly, filtering through the vanilla caramel sandalwood of my altar today. I said "Grandma!" all happy. Only to hear her voice (Which Ive never known - both grandparents died when I was one) telling me I had to go to the family thing. Sadly I reacted the same way I do to mum - "You tell me why I should waste a rest day on it! Come ON grandma! Ive missed out on THREE count em THREE parties by girls I havent seen in years because Im working so hard - all Im trying to do is cobble together enough energy to work my OWN horses, now Ive got an MRI and a new house to inspect on the same day we have to order feed and grocery shop - and everyone wants me to waste one of my precious days on this stupidity! NO NO NO!!"
Shes thinking. Im sure mum sent her, and grandma didnt have my side of the story. Not quite so cut and dried now is it?
But the funniest thing, really, is that youd imagine IM the one being childish. You wouldnt think that if you saw how mum looks - face all screwed up, bottom lip pouting like shes gonna cry. Shes like a petulant four year old being told she cant have a lolly.
Its funny....I can see the party. I cant quite see myself there, not yet. Kman said he'd go....Without me, and that would be fucking strange, not to mention cruel - they'll rip the poor bastard to shreds. "Oh, your a toolmaker? Where did you go to school? (no wonder hes just a toolmaker) Where did you grow up? (must be a drug dealer - or a gang leader) What do you do in your spare time? Video games? (What a LOSER...)"
Youve got to understand - these people layed the foundations for the cold Hard Bitch of an Ice Queen I am now. Years of merciless teasing at school only concreted it. The Golden Rules to mind games - Never react, always bluff, and arm yourself however you can. Know when to strike and how. Im a champion, really, and I know, thats more than half the reason mum wants me there. I was looking forward to going, to playing, to stomping. Fuck YOU
I WIN.
But I dont know if I can defend myself in a weakened state. Id rather not take the chance. Gaybro is a pro as well, and just as fine and glittering of a trophy. Why doesnt she take HIM instead and tell stories? Hes much more prestigous than this little shit kicker.
Sigh. The fight shall continue.
| 53 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
I know exactly where you are coming from - that other side of the family and all their stupid expectations. You can feel the tape measure come out as soon as you walk through the front door.
I enjoy seeing them squirm now with my little victories - oh skipped a year of school, erm passed Uni with distinction, ah travelled the world, oh you did that all by yourself? no help from mommy and daddy? Well look at you now, you still don`t wear the right clothes or have the right job. And that writing thing? Pah! You always were a dreamer - dreamers are bums don`t you know and never amount to much.
Don`t you worry my dear I know those conversations all too well - now they just woooossshhhh over my head. But let me tell you there is NO WAY I would give up my precious Sunday afternoon to make small talk.
NO WAY!
Glad you are being firm on this one - stand your ground!
Ash
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Oh honey, Im glad you understand but at the same time its horrible you have to deal with it too! I may yet get roped into it but really, I want to see how the MRI goes. If they have to shoot me up with radioactive stuff, I wont be feeling very swift.
The worst thing - they expect us to be THANKFUL we get to see the family!
And sadly, theyre all Ive ever known. Theyre mums side, 'Dads' side was non existant, and once I found out I was a sperm donor baby I realized just how little blood I shared with even mums side!
Its why I love (and make time for) Kmans family. No matter what you say its hugs, kisses, and "Good for you dear!" and "give it a go - what have you got to lose?" Like wandering onto a tv set!