The Good, The Bad.....But No ugly
April 9th 2008 00:50
Ive got that weird, fired up excitement that happens when Im going out. What frustrates me is it happens when Im doing nothing particularly exciting - Im just catching a train, going to the docs, and a little interview. Nothin special. Yet my guts are twisting like Im going into battle. Actually, no, if I was going into battle Id probably be more excited and less nervous. This is more like losing your virginity.
This sort of anxiety never assaults once Im actually working. I just get on a routine rail and continue. But when Im out of practise, only for a few weeks, it comes back.
Country buses are a nightmare. They dont connect to every train. Thus, Ive decided to walk to the station later. It would have to be one of the few times I wish for the rain to stop - walkin in the rain dont bother me, its the fact I'll be in my super snappy outfit, and it just doesnt do to get muddyed before an interview.
Got some unhappy horses here....Ive had to keep Mags and Zayf in the house yard because Zayf needs to be separated from his mother in case he breeds her. I hate keeping him locked up but its really the safest way when Im not here...
Today Im going to have to drain some of precious cash stash. Theres the travel, of course, theres the internet bill, and some other little things I need. I should recieve some pay - my last one - next week, the same week Im paid up to. Its getting hairy scary. Cutting it fine. I HAVE to get the job today, no ifs, not buts, I HAVE TO GET THIS JOB, or Im fucked. Even though I didnt get my dream job, I admit I didnt throw myself at it like I could have. Why? I dont know. Perhaps I knew it just wasnt ment to be and didnt try but that works perfectly in reverse as well. This time, I am just going to walk into it - Like Magnus winning the Nationals last year, there simply is no other option. I am going to get this job and there is no other path.
As usual, the hours seem to be dragging by way to slowly, but as it comes time to leave, the minutes will begin to fly at frightening speed. Have I locked this? Have I got that? Are the ducks in? Is binky ok? Are the gates shut? What are the odds on magnus breaking a window before I get home?
I have to mention Tomb Raider. oboy am I having fun. Im up to 'Lost Valley' and Im fighting the T Rex. I swore, I would not go back to the walkthrough until I had completed each level, just so the walkthrough could tell me if I missed anything. Well, that didnt happen. I tried to follow the walkthrough's advice, and after dying repeatedly finally said Fuck it, Im doing this my way! You're going down T Rex! Kleo style! Kman was in stitches as I leaned to and fro in synchrony with the fight, still getting killed (although bringing the T Rex to ALMOST no life with my method!) screaming, "this is BULLSHIT!!!" I can get Lara to do this mysterious 'Adrenaline Dodge' that is part of her combat moves, but I can barely get her to do a headshot. I think Ive achieved it once. So, Im just running, flipping, and making sure that big bastard slams the most dangerous aspects of the environment when he charges me. Oh, for the original lost valley from the very first Tomb Raider One, a couple of backflips and constant fire and that guy was down!
Tonight I'll tackle him again if Im not too tired. Im comin for ya T Rex!
Winter is so good.....Fuzzy socks, hot cappucino and soup nights with lovely bread....Snuggling. Fires. Wist has told me he wants a hot bottle....NOW! He's not getting it, not yet. We did have a lovely duck cuddle though. Soon, Im going to see a mate of mine and that'll be fun, and I trying to motivate myself to go to the city later this week and catch up with some girls I havnt seen in ages. Like years. BUT.....Hopefully I might be workin.
Bad as usual is head pain, disorientation, confusion....And Im going to hit the Doc up about my side effects today. This anxiety sure aint so good. And of course, just becaue Im going out in public, Im utterly SURE Im going to see someone I dont really want to see, even if I know damn well he never leaves his caravan.
At least, I have my weather. The dark swirling sky is with me, a little train trip to read write and draw throughout, and a new boss to entice into my net..
This sort of anxiety never assaults once Im actually working. I just get on a routine rail and continue. But when Im out of practise, only for a few weeks, it comes back.
Country buses are a nightmare. They dont connect to every train. Thus, Ive decided to walk to the station later. It would have to be one of the few times I wish for the rain to stop - walkin in the rain dont bother me, its the fact I'll be in my super snappy outfit, and it just doesnt do to get muddyed before an interview.
Got some unhappy horses here....Ive had to keep Mags and Zayf in the house yard because Zayf needs to be separated from his mother in case he breeds her. I hate keeping him locked up but its really the safest way when Im not here...
Today Im going to have to drain some of precious cash stash. Theres the travel, of course, theres the internet bill, and some other little things I need. I should recieve some pay - my last one - next week, the same week Im paid up to. Its getting hairy scary. Cutting it fine. I HAVE to get the job today, no ifs, not buts, I HAVE TO GET THIS JOB, or Im fucked. Even though I didnt get my dream job, I admit I didnt throw myself at it like I could have. Why? I dont know. Perhaps I knew it just wasnt ment to be and didnt try but that works perfectly in reverse as well. This time, I am just going to walk into it - Like Magnus winning the Nationals last year, there simply is no other option. I am going to get this job and there is no other path.
As usual, the hours seem to be dragging by way to slowly, but as it comes time to leave, the minutes will begin to fly at frightening speed. Have I locked this? Have I got that? Are the ducks in? Is binky ok? Are the gates shut? What are the odds on magnus breaking a window before I get home?
I have to mention Tomb Raider. oboy am I having fun. Im up to 'Lost Valley' and Im fighting the T Rex. I swore, I would not go back to the walkthrough until I had completed each level, just so the walkthrough could tell me if I missed anything. Well, that didnt happen. I tried to follow the walkthrough's advice, and after dying repeatedly finally said Fuck it, Im doing this my way! You're going down T Rex! Kleo style! Kman was in stitches as I leaned to and fro in synchrony with the fight, still getting killed (although bringing the T Rex to ALMOST no life with my method!) screaming, "this is BULLSHIT!!!" I can get Lara to do this mysterious 'Adrenaline Dodge' that is part of her combat moves, but I can barely get her to do a headshot. I think Ive achieved it once. So, Im just running, flipping, and making sure that big bastard slams the most dangerous aspects of the environment when he charges me. Oh, for the original lost valley from the very first Tomb Raider One, a couple of backflips and constant fire and that guy was down!
Tonight I'll tackle him again if Im not too tired. Im comin for ya T Rex!
Winter is so good.....Fuzzy socks, hot cappucino and soup nights with lovely bread....Snuggling. Fires. Wist has told me he wants a hot bottle....NOW! He's not getting it, not yet. We did have a lovely duck cuddle though. Soon, Im going to see a mate of mine and that'll be fun, and I trying to motivate myself to go to the city later this week and catch up with some girls I havnt seen in ages. Like years. BUT.....Hopefully I might be workin.
Bad as usual is head pain, disorientation, confusion....And Im going to hit the Doc up about my side effects today. This anxiety sure aint so good. And of course, just becaue Im going out in public, Im utterly SURE Im going to see someone I dont really want to see, even if I know damn well he never leaves his caravan.
At least, I have my weather. The dark swirling sky is with me, a little train trip to read write and draw throughout, and a new boss to entice into my net..
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Comment by tlcorbin
Raven
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
A few moments to catch up with you. I really do hope you get the job.
WHilst I was walking through the snow the other day I thought of you and how much you would love it. I will have to send you some photos when I get the chance.
Love your drawing of the eye here. Brilliant capture of depth there
Ash
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
That would be lovely....Im sure I'll find a use for it!
And that rex is goin down...Only a matter of time!
Ash,
Great to have you stoppin in from the places you fly....I cold canvessed a few places and more planned for next week.
Thanks for the compliment hun, Im really inspired at the moment.