Its funny how lately, Ive been reminded of my old job. At this time in the end of 2005 I worked in a massive wharehouse. 4 Stories high, about 2 acres wide, I rode high atop my double pallett mover and shift worked like I was born for it. I still remember the exhileration - a 'team' of 600 people where you could disappear into the wilderness of racking and heavy machinery, quite literally, without a trace. You could take a day off and be almost completely unnoticed, you could even disappear mid shift and reappear later on with no adverse affects. At a cool $30 an hour, (and thats just standard time!) I felt like I was a high flyer and made all sorts of important purchases. I almost bought a car on a whim. I arose before 3:30am, I started shift at 5am, I finished at 2pm and made it home between 3 and 4, where Id tidy the house and pre prepare dinner before rushing out to the horses for about 4 hours before coming home and doing it all again.

I lived in a mansion owned by Kmans parents, a house Id fallen in love with as I was falling in love with the Kman himself. It boasted 2 full sized bathrooms, 5 bedrooms, 3 loungerooms, massive kitchen/dining room, and tiled out door patio with gardens. Kman and I being 20 something, the house was mostly empty, but hey, it just made it seem that much bigger and elegant.

When I had to leave this job and house, I talked myself into being excited. I was going to live with my horses full time, start my business and be my own boss. I remember saying, you wont have to get up before 4am everyday, no messy travel and no heavy lifting all day. You'll be yourself, finally.

I was, at first. I worked so hard to get the property up to scratch. We battled on, and when the money ran out, we still werent ready. I had to get a job. No problem, Im always employable.

Enter a year where I just couldnt get - or keep - a job. For the first time in my life I was falling short and I didnt like it. I blocked the old wharehouse frm my mind - cos they didnt want me back either - and bopped through jobs left and right. Real nasty employers.

When I found Lynne and Portrait Palace I was feeling like a damaged refugee, and she was like some grand country mercifully taking me in. So quickly I found a niche with her and begun to plan ways I could excel at my work. I felt amazingly good with her.

Then the new job had to barge on in and ruin everything.

I remember my last day with Lynne - How she said I could come back whenever I wanted, that Id be going back to my passion and she just knew Id love it.

Hmm. Well, she's not answering my calls and I just dont love it. Im strung out, Im doing heavy lifting all day, Im up before 4am......I have all the bad stuff I was dealing with in 2005 without the perks of being filthy rich and a massive amount of staff. We have 8 grooms, so you take a day off, its PERSONAL, its NOTICED. Bastards.

So, my mini holiday is almost over. I had a mini holiday at the wharehouse too, but it didnt bother me, I got everything out of it that I wanted. Im thinking to myself - one more day before I go back to hell.

Which isnt fair, because it isnt hell, really. It just desperately needs a slight restructure, a little tweaking. But that aint gonna happen so really, Kleo's gotta go.

Thats my new year plan - I have so many goals so I have to do some prioritizing and shuffling and sort them out.

But for now.....Im just enjoying the last of my holidays.

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