The Red Pill
April 10th 2008 00:51
Now tell me matrix fans - is the red pill the one that makes you believe a lie or the one that makes you see the truth? Its been awhile since I saw the movies and I simply cannot remember....
So I told the doc what sandomigran was doing to me. Fatigue, feeling like my left eye was closed even though I could see out of it, confusion, etc. Both the doc and the pharmascist were surprised, but it being an anti histamine, it made perfect sense to me. Ive had troubles with those kinds of drugs. So she prescribes this new drug, says if it doesnt work she'll just break down and cry. There arent any other prophylactic migraine treatments.
The side effects of this Red Pill may include dizzyness, disorientation, drowsiness. Nightmares and anxiety. Difficulty breathing and heart palpitations.
Heres the kicker - its designed to treat, along with migraines, high blood pressure, anxiety and social phobia. I cried out enthusiastically - Social Phobia! I have that! Im thinking...This Pill might be a one stop solution to all my problems!
The thing with these side effects is, I actually know how to deal with them. Im used to dizzyness, disorientation and nightmares. If it can make the pain go away, then I can handle it. Im EXPERIENCED in dealing with these effects.....And I gotta say, I feel ......Almost normal. Thats almost normal for ME not for the average person. That means Im feeling disconnected from my body but connected to everything else. And I didnt have a nightmare, but oh,.....Did I dream....
The damp Earth. Such silence. The vampire Angelus takes me in his arms and lowers us down a tunnel in a thick metal cage(that looks like a shark cage?) down the tunnel we slide and lie there. Its funny, cos when he said we were going into the earth, I thought he was just going to dig a hole, I never realized it would be so elaborate. But we slide down, him letting out the rope and lowering us down the long earthen tunnel, that gets narrower as it goes down.
Stop. End of the rope. We are truly alone. Through spirit link I can hear the creatures of the earth moving in the soil, it is silent as ever in her flesh but it is not quiet. In our minds we speak and I lean my head back with arms around him. Please!
The teeth go in. The pleasure is so sharp, right there with the pain, its constant companion. I feel it in other parts of my body as if his lips, his teeth are everywhere, all over. Moaning in swoon I have no comprehension of where I am or what planet or plane it is - There is only his teeth, his mouth and the sensual feel of blood being drawn from me. Blood colours the inside of my eyes. I grasp him hard - dont stop!
He does but its so I can see the blood marking his white skin at the open neck of his shirt. How has the blue white moonlight found us down here in our grave? There seems to be her luminescence glowing off us even though there is no light. Now blood is on my tongue. My hands, my fingers dig into his arms like claws and I seem to growl savagely even though there is only stillness, only silence. Now he moans as the beast in me rises to devour him. Still human, not enough exchanged for that alchemy yet, he tears me from his flesh and feeds again, this time savage, brutal, a wolf on a deer. Despite this, and that there is no gentleness in it now, it is more exciting to me, more pleasureable. God! Rip me apart!
He pulls us from the ground, we are speaking deep in our minds and there is a deep knowledge there....Something just instinctually known. He goes somewhere and people come, looking for him, to get him, what are you doing? Why offer yourself to be killed? Are you mad?
I sit down near a headstone, and tell one of them it is not death.... not even like death, it is more than life, more feeling than Ive ever known. Real, more real than the silvery light glancing off the grass.....The moon is high, and so big, seems to be full and yet it has that dark sphere of the newer one....I try to explain myself but as usual I cannot....I long for his return yet do not wish for him to be captured and in my mind he is with me and the memory of the taste of blood....
So thats what happened, after I took the Red Pill....
And today the fog takes its time lifting, the ceiling of the sky rising and rising making us colder and it only makes me happier, Im alittle confused, thoughts a little out of whack...But that feels good too. My left cheek is tingling like it used to when I was a child....But no headache. Not yet anyway.....
So I told the doc what sandomigran was doing to me. Fatigue, feeling like my left eye was closed even though I could see out of it, confusion, etc. Both the doc and the pharmascist were surprised, but it being an anti histamine, it made perfect sense to me. Ive had troubles with those kinds of drugs. So she prescribes this new drug, says if it doesnt work she'll just break down and cry. There arent any other prophylactic migraine treatments.
The side effects of this Red Pill may include dizzyness, disorientation, drowsiness. Nightmares and anxiety. Difficulty breathing and heart palpitations.
Heres the kicker - its designed to treat, along with migraines, high blood pressure, anxiety and social phobia. I cried out enthusiastically - Social Phobia! I have that! Im thinking...This Pill might be a one stop solution to all my problems!
The thing with these side effects is, I actually know how to deal with them. Im used to dizzyness, disorientation and nightmares. If it can make the pain go away, then I can handle it. Im EXPERIENCED in dealing with these effects.....And I gotta say, I feel ......Almost normal. Thats almost normal for ME not for the average person. That means Im feeling disconnected from my body but connected to everything else. And I didnt have a nightmare, but oh,.....Did I dream....
The damp Earth. Such silence. The vampire Angelus takes me in his arms and lowers us down a tunnel in a thick metal cage(that looks like a shark cage?) down the tunnel we slide and lie there. Its funny, cos when he said we were going into the earth, I thought he was just going to dig a hole, I never realized it would be so elaborate. But we slide down, him letting out the rope and lowering us down the long earthen tunnel, that gets narrower as it goes down.
Stop. End of the rope. We are truly alone. Through spirit link I can hear the creatures of the earth moving in the soil, it is silent as ever in her flesh but it is not quiet. In our minds we speak and I lean my head back with arms around him. Please!
The teeth go in. The pleasure is so sharp, right there with the pain, its constant companion. I feel it in other parts of my body as if his lips, his teeth are everywhere, all over. Moaning in swoon I have no comprehension of where I am or what planet or plane it is - There is only his teeth, his mouth and the sensual feel of blood being drawn from me. Blood colours the inside of my eyes. I grasp him hard - dont stop!
He does but its so I can see the blood marking his white skin at the open neck of his shirt. How has the blue white moonlight found us down here in our grave? There seems to be her luminescence glowing off us even though there is no light. Now blood is on my tongue. My hands, my fingers dig into his arms like claws and I seem to growl savagely even though there is only stillness, only silence. Now he moans as the beast in me rises to devour him. Still human, not enough exchanged for that alchemy yet, he tears me from his flesh and feeds again, this time savage, brutal, a wolf on a deer. Despite this, and that there is no gentleness in it now, it is more exciting to me, more pleasureable. God! Rip me apart!
He pulls us from the ground, we are speaking deep in our minds and there is a deep knowledge there....Something just instinctually known. He goes somewhere and people come, looking for him, to get him, what are you doing? Why offer yourself to be killed? Are you mad?
I sit down near a headstone, and tell one of them it is not death.... not even like death, it is more than life, more feeling than Ive ever known. Real, more real than the silvery light glancing off the grass.....The moon is high, and so big, seems to be full and yet it has that dark sphere of the newer one....I try to explain myself but as usual I cannot....I long for his return yet do not wish for him to be captured and in my mind he is with me and the memory of the taste of blood....
So thats what happened, after I took the Red Pill....
And today the fog takes its time lifting, the ceiling of the sky rising and rising making us colder and it only makes me happier, Im alittle confused, thoughts a little out of whack...But that feels good too. My left cheek is tingling like it used to when I was a child....But no headache. Not yet anyway.....
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Comment by tlcorbin
Raven
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
The more days that go by, the better I feel. Its like magic!
Comment by tlcorbin
Raven