Wondering
September 30th 2008 06:32
Im wondering,
if its even worth wondering
about wondering.
Cos I have this,
and I have that.
Im well planned, and capable,
all seems in order.
Yet I feel.....
Unbalanced,
like a little ship at sea,
abandoned in rocky waters,
adrift in the dark,
swinging endlessly from side to side.....
And Im wondering....
If I'll ever get used to it.
if its even worth wondering
about wondering.
Cos I have this,
and I have that.
Im well planned, and capable,
all seems in order.
Yet I feel.....
Unbalanced,
like a little ship at sea,
abandoned in rocky waters,
adrift in the dark,
swinging endlessly from side to side.....
And Im wondering....
If I'll ever get used to it.
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Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
A concise piece of work, but it really conveys that frustration that comes over you when you get in those situations where you realise there's almost nothing that you can do, but get through it.....
Comment by Lara M
Love Speaks
Food Slate
Wonderfully illustrated...
Comment by Louie
Climate Red
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Most of all I love the way it starts, and love the way it ends. If you ever decide to alter a word in it? Leave the beginning and end alone.
And I love the way you capture what Kylie refers to as wandering throughout the rest of the poem.
But for me, it's the ending that really does it for me. It makes you go back and re-read it. And the more you re-read it, the more you appreciate it, and get that feeling of total helplessness.
I mean, this is brilliant:
if its even worth wondering
about wondering.
And if you put it next to how you finish it?
If I'll ever get used to it.
That's one of the reasons why it's such a good poem. There's a few other reasons, but I won't go into them. The comment is already too long.
But Graeme always taught us that if you put the opening lines next to the finishing lines of a poem, they should match up in some form or another, or you've either gone off on a tangent, or lost the plot somewhere.
Consistency of imagery is another thing this poem achieves. We've got a drifting mind and the metaphor of a ship/boat drifting at sea. Graeme used to always bang on about consistency of the imagery, too. Too many 'poets' put in conflicting images. They're usually trying to say too much in the poem.
So much for keeping the comment short, but I do love good poetry and chatting about it, and what makes a good poem different to [or from?] a bad one.
At school, they teach you to analyse poetry, dissect it, and give academic discourses on it, but they don't teach you how to write it.
I think I'll go and have another drink.
At the end of the day, I'll make comments if I think they encourage people to continue writing poetry. I wouldn't write anywhere near as much to other poets because they usually don't understand that I'm not criticising them but encouraging them. But you know I'll tell you if I think it's shit, and tell you when I think it's great.
I definitely need another drink.
I could think of something better than a drink, but this is a family blogsite.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Thanks darl! Im glad you could drop in and appreciate the wandering/wondering!
Lara
Thanks sweet - I had to think a bit about 'illustrated' cos I havnt put up a sketch in ages...
Louie
I love wondering. Its pretty much all I do!
wondering.....
Darling David
You can come and leave a long comment whenever you like - I miss you on my other poems. I actually consider this one of the worse ones. If I really like it then it goes in spotlight.
Yeah, did heaps of that. My Teacher wanted me to write poetry, pushed me really hard. I thought it was dumb, but he said not many people can just write a poem and have it complete, just like that, and I should take advantage of it.
YOU are responsable for my poetry today, because it was your scathing critisim that got me out of that rhyming.....Doggerel? Im scared to rhyme now.
Im experimenting with new poems where I dont care if it makes sense, has cadence, whatever, I just write each independant line. I'll put some of those up soon.
I dont think its fair we get ads like that yet we cant have porn ads. We could all be millionares through porn ads.