Working with Wild, and all the adventures of the (S) Expo
July 31st 2007 03:57
Its a long story fellas, and I hope your not as tired as I am right now when its all over.
It all began with David. He posted up that his mate, Wild, needed girls to work at Sexpo. I went into the whole shebang very casually. I emailed, but I never really thought Id end up there. I may repeat myself a little, but its worth it in the telling of the whole story. Im going to do my utmost not to leave anything out.
Wed, I went into meet said Wild. I have already explained how this day went terribly awry. I forgot my phone, I forgot the adress, I forgot the phone number. Still, I salvaged the day, and on Wed night, I recieved my hours. I had a slight issue with double booking, as I could have an interview for the grooms job on Thurs or Fri, so I began in ambiguity.
THURSDAY I got up early even though I should be catchin up on sleep and preparing for the ordeal ahead. I had to ring the grooms job to find out if I was indeed, getting an interview, as well as look at maps and stuff to make sure I knew where I was going. Turns out, after a quick phone call, I was not getting an interview(they are next week, and yes, I got one) so I messaged Wild. She said she'd let me know if I was needed.
Later than I expected she called. Said get here asap. I threw on some clothes, bolted out the door. I got there five minutes after a train. What a drag. The best part of this was going to the machine to buy a coke and finding some helpful person had left $2 in the machine, so my coke was less than half price! I get to the city, I think Im doing ok.
I set off confidently in the wrong direction. Its half an hour later already on sore feet when I ask directions, go in the right direction, then, finally, get a bus. Under the kindly direction of the bus driver I make it there, already tired and sore and thinking "Jesus! How am I gonna get through this?"
Im met out the front by one of the other girls who's sick. Man, I hate that. Im tryin to be up, up UP and shes DOWN. Add to that she's critical. Trying to tell me how to do my job. I ignore her to the best of my ability and thats an awesome ability. I feel up lots of people with my glove and Im beginning to have a really good time. The glove vibrates, and you cant believe how good it feels until you try it! Our sales method involes touching anyone who goes past, massaging them throughout the speil, and 9 out of 10, they buy it. Heres our website -
http://www.xs.com.au
I learned to target older couples - The woman. All ladies who work hard appreciate the glove on their necks. Then you do the guy and get him thinking about its other possible uses, all the while using cheeky phrases such as "The Glove LOVES to get wet, goes in the bath or the shower!"
Just for my own personal fun I targeted the good looking young girls, innocently giving them a back massage while my mind went to naughty places. Some people gave me definite tingles. You know, like, even though Im engaged and Id never cheat on Kman there were people whose energy just made me think, "You and me, we'd be DYNAMITE!"
THE EMO - The little emo made me forget Kman. In my day(yeah, cos Im so old) he would have been a punk gothic, like me. His hair was jet black under a little cap. He wore a stripy punk shirt and jeans. He was utterly adorable with his dark shiny eyes and pure white skin. A bit like Kman actually, but half the size and barely 18 and no where near as experienced. He was with a friend, and since I approach from the back, he didnt see me at first. When he saw me his eyes got big and he said "thats it, Im taking you home" and looped an arm around my waist. Oh, I shuddered! The ENERGY in the little fella! So, I start rubbing him over with the glove and SMUCKY! Isnt he CUT under those clothes! The perfect snow white skin is TAUT over those ROCK HARD muscles! And as cheeky as he's being looking into my eyes, he has NO IDEA what he's getting into with me! I give him some extra rubbing, and move on to do my work, regretfully. Oh, the fun I could have with you, my dear little emo.
THE BOSS - Wild was my boss, but the big boss (we'll call him Dicky) looked like a big boss. Suit slacks, snappy shirt, like he's just come from a board meeting. Bald, tall, and bloody rock hard (do all you gods work out or what?) looking a little scary. I mean, hes the boss, right?
Until he starts taking every oppurtunity to rub me with the glove. And positioning himself behind me to watch my "Great ass!" Oh, yeah. You're a REAL scary boss aincha?
I get a lift to redfern with previously near collapse critical girl. The second we leave shes screaming out the window and partying. Hmmmn.....I get a train, I get home, alls well, day 1.
FRIDAY - Friday I left with complete confidence. I was in plenty of time for the train, I had everything I could possibly need, I was armed with maps. I get there, I find my bus stop, I make it out there in plenty of time. I even grab a burger - nothing decent at the sexpo - and almost get it stolen by a seagull! Yes, I did sit with them, yes, I did encourage them by feeding them, but if I didnt have a scavenger bird of my own, I doubt I would have had the reflexes to save my dinner! The bugger gave it two tries. Came in so close I gave his belly a stroke. I swear I can tame anything!
I enjoy my night of feeling people up and getting felt up by Dicky. Damn, he made me forget Kman a few times too! Im starting to feel a bit of terror over the next day. Its coming, and its going to be tough. But Im enjoying myself so much I barely take a break and just rub people. The glove has its own electro magnetic feild, which concentrates your own but picks up the other persons as well. TASTING energy, giving a little of my own - AH, it was a mystical experience! I cant believe I got paid to TASTE so many people, to give them a piece of my dark light. There was mystical connection there, do not doubt it! It is that very connection that helps us sell the glove.
I look over at Wild and ask the time. She says 10:30. I say shit. I was only supposed to be here till 9! The train I was aiming for was 11:08 from blacktown - that aint gonna happen now! I say Id love to stay, really would, but gotta go! Gotta get up early tomorrow!
Bolt for central station. There is a train on every goddamn platform going to hornsby, but I have to wait 25mins for a train going in my direction. I dont think thats fair. Its illegal to smoke on central station, but I go down to the end of the platform, fairly certain there are no rail gaurds, and light up. While Im there a girl going my way lights up too. I think her name was Tay. We chat. God, its like meeting an old friend! We are so connected, we talk about everything and are so involved we almost miss the train. Then we get on, fighting to find a seat together(even though all the hornsby trains were smucking empty) and we get a young fella to move his groceries so we can sit together. Groceries? At this time of night? We strike up a conversation. I tell him he looks familiar. Im sure I know you. All he says is 4 words - "I play the flute" and I yell(to the distress of others on the train) "OmiGod! Your flute guy! Who plays at the shopping centre! I LOVE YOU MAN!!" So now Flute Guy and Tay are my companions. I forgot to exchange numbers with them, so now they are once more lost in the world, dear friends whom should not have been so easily lost, but there you have it. The universe works in mysterious ways.
The three of us get into a massive debate over train availabilty. I swear there are more, They say nup. Turns out theyre right, Im wrong. I have to wait for mum and Kman to pick me up. 3 fights go on downstairs while I wait. The cops come after the sound of broken glass.
THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS - Now normally, Im wearing my most innocent face, yet spoiling for a fight. I just cant wait for smeone to misread my innocent attire and face and get the shock of their lives by the naked feral agression that lives under my skin. But tonight Im tired. I dont think I can take on a pack of rapists. So I hang out near the train gaurds, who pretend not to notice me. At one point an older guy walks past, and locks eyes with me, he slows but doesnt stop. Through our linked eyes he asks "are you ok?" I nod, I tell him, "thankyou very much for your concern. Im waiting for a lift. But thankyou so much" I feel concern like that must be rewarded. He gives me the all purpose nod, that says in this instance "Your all good" and continues on his way. Kman is there a few minutes later. It is 1am when I get home. I change my bags, repack my essential items including spare clothes as I will stay with my brother in the city the next night. I collapse in to bed, but I do not feel Ive slept......I lay there trembling, every muscle sore, nervous system hotwired, waiting for the next ordeal.......
SATURDAY - I get up at approx 5:30am. I shower, change, obsessively compulsively check everything in my bag. Then jump in the car off to the station. No trains - buses replace trains due to trackwork. Im not sure how long the trip takes or what goes on - Im drifting in and out of a coma. By some strange time warp, I make it to Milsons point before 8:30am. I ring the boss.
Shes going sailing with her man. The girl I was supposed to be training isnt coming, Im going to be alone. Trying to claw myself out of my coma, that doesnt sound too bad. I might just collapse behind the desk. I find some coffee, a bacon and egg roll, and stand in the freezing wind by the stall.
To my surprise, I cant stop myself from working. No matter how hard I try to just do nothing, I keep getting out into the crowd and offerring the competition. I never manage to put on my makeup and amuse myself by thinking how many things I could do with that simple dress thats staring at me all day.
The boss rings, she hasnt left for the Hawkesbury river yet and she's decided to come and pick up the stuff. I cant believe we're near the end. But we are. It looks like my phones going to go dflat, which is a pain. The boss arrives, we pack up. I ask if Im getting paid, Ive been counting on it. Ive only got $10 left. She says she doesnt have it, but if I come back to the car I can get a partial pay. Fine. Turns out Ive done a ton of entries, more than I thought, and I mention I might not be in on Tue(today) Because I already feel, well, like the living dead?
I go straight back to the markets after wishing her happy sailing, and buy the damn dress. What the hell, its only $10 and Im way past the point of thinking clearly. Back to central. Eat another burger, buy a deoderant that cost way too much and pound some cold and flu tablets with a coke. Put on full face of makeup, and find the relevant bus.
At some point during the night Wild said she wasnt in the mood for the outfit. I agreed to give it a shot. I know, I know, I look like Im about to give someone the finger, not sell them a love glove. I told you it was a shocking photo! I think Im halfway through giving Wild Kmans number. She just had to send him a pic.....You cannot see how ridiculously short the skirt is, A strip of fabric attached to a solid leather belt that might as well not exist for the purpose it serves. Also I had my long indian style boots on, so I wouldnt mind seeing how it all looked. The cap was too big and I had a ball with it for a few hours, but eventually I got kidney chill from the short top.
Back in my long pants I was still enjoying myself by about 11pm, but I was no longer doing my job. Id just walk around touching people, forgetting entirely to tell them about the glove. I dont know when I got out of there, got a lift with one of the girls to oxford street, and to my brothers place.
It was nice to see him. Everything the same and thats comforting. I saw old Booby(Christopher, his geriatric cat) and Matthew the persian, who is the father of Sampson and Rowdy, my boys, and Tyger, Mums cat. The long lost lover of Ynatra, mums first cat. Our Sampson, when he was born, was dubbed 'mini matti' because he was so like his father, and despite the vast differences in their appearance now, Sampson really is his fathers son.
The couch is so comfortable. More comfortable than my bed. But still, Im restless and wired. Ive got so much energy jolting me. I get about 8 hours, but its broken.
Stagger to life at 10am. 2 coffees. Shower. Then find out I brought the wrong jeans and no undies. Brilliant Kleo, nice work! Put together an outfit, soak it in BO basher. Wander off downstairs ("Bye Bro!") and find a bus. Im at Sexpo, and its the final day.
SUNDAY - Im into the final stretch. My hours today are 12 midday till 7pm. The hours pass quickly as Im havin fun. Scarin the prudes, makin em jump. Getting hold of a kinky girl whos been handcuffed by her girlfriend for "being naughty" and giving her an extra long rub. Its after 4pm when Wild asks about my break. I say I havnt had one. Theres a bit of contention. Everyone wants their 10min smoko and ther half hour dinner, but it isnt working out fairly. I say as long as I get paid in time to shop around a bit myself Im all good. I get a 10min smoko. I tell her I'll work later if needed. The other girls are arguing about their dinner break again. I dont blame them really. Its been a long haul. But thats why theres confusion - no ones quite sure what theyre doing!
I make an executive descision. I go to Wild. I say look, I'll work until 7:30pm, no break. I'll just do it straight through. That way the others get their break now, and I get time for a wander after I get paid. Wild seems slightly incredulous. "You'd do that? You're ok? You dont want a break?" Nope. Sweet.
Workin hard and into it. Im not too sure how long I could have gone on for, as I said, I was highly enjoying myself. The glove makes everyone feel good. Its not a hard job. Still, I kept and eye on the time and was ready to finish at 7:30. Wild pays me for my hours, gives me A BRAND NEW STILL IN THE PACKAGING Glove, and then a bonus. ALRIGHT!!
I have a wander and see handcuffs for only $10. YES! I buy them. Then see a corset set for only $19.95. Hmmn. Better eat first. I havnt eaten yet today. I'll need to top up the tank before I make rash descisions. So, two greasy kebabs with wedges. Then I buy myself a vodka twist, skull it before I leave the bar area, and stagger back out into sexpo. Turns out the nice cheap corset set is a size 16. At first I think, "Yeah, thats perfect!" and then I remember......I ask the stall owners opinion. She goes "yeah, yeah, it'll fit, just draw it REAL tight" I lift my jacket. "Im a standard 8 honey" Her face falls "Oh. I see. I might have sme 8's in here"
Nope. Go back to the stall. Dicky gives me a rub and a long face "i'll never see you again!" He mock sobs. So I give him my number. I show Wild my cuffs. She says she must have. 2 pairs. Could I?.... Sure love. So I run down and get Wilds cuffs. Im now running super late so I give everyone a big kiss and hug and go.
Oh dear lord. The bus stop is full of people Ive recently gloved. On Thurs night we met some on the way out we'd touched, but they didnt recognise me without the glove. These guys do. Oh, boy. Now theyre all trying to pick me up......
I make it to central in one piece, and get a train in a few minutes. The vodka is hitting me hard and I try and get a bus home. Only blacktown. Fine, close enough. Once there the gaurd sees my 'exhibitor' badge and asks what Ive been up to at sexpo, so we get chatting. Eventually I get the home bus and listen to what used to be 'bedrooms to boardrooms' on mix. Im not sure what its called now, but its a pretty entertaining counselling show. People have the most smucked up lives, and they want to share it on radio. Im so into it I almost miss my stop - no excuses on a bus!
Mum and Kman pick me up. They inform me Zayfir is not wearing his rug because he 'attacked' them. Hmm. I got straight out and put it on, and the only untoward thing that happens is him flopping out the equipment to get a free feel while Im doing up his leg straps. Then Najara tries to rape me. Picking up on my last few days of energy much?
I do mums back. One of the greatest things about working at sexpo was PISSING HER OFF! Kman says that over the entire few days she never once said 'sexpo' always 'that place' what a classic. Love it. But two seconds with the glove and she was SOLD! Everyone is.
Then, while Kman was doing my back the boy cats came in. Najaras not scared of it, Zee Zee mush isnt scared of it, but the boys! Ive never seen them act like that before! So fascinated, and yet so afraid. Is it alive? How can it be killed? Classic also. They are still working it out.
So thats it. Despite the cold today the animals and my bones tell me spring is in the air. I barely prevented Zayfir from breeding the mare next door through the wire. Im sure that would have been an experience......
BTW, said mare has been found to be FAT under the rug. See why you dont judge people too quickly or harshly? She may well have been sick.
I cant quite believe its over, that I had so much fun and got paid for it, that I didnt die as the chest pains got from hellish to demonish, and that throughout it all my reflexive smile managed to stay on my face and make me more than I am. So, I'll recover heartily, as life calls, going for an interview for the grooms job next week. It all happens at once, thats for sure!
It all began with David. He posted up that his mate, Wild, needed girls to work at Sexpo. I went into the whole shebang very casually. I emailed, but I never really thought Id end up there. I may repeat myself a little, but its worth it in the telling of the whole story. Im going to do my utmost not to leave anything out.
Wed, I went into meet said Wild. I have already explained how this day went terribly awry. I forgot my phone, I forgot the adress, I forgot the phone number. Still, I salvaged the day, and on Wed night, I recieved my hours. I had a slight issue with double booking, as I could have an interview for the grooms job on Thurs or Fri, so I began in ambiguity.
THURSDAY I got up early even though I should be catchin up on sleep and preparing for the ordeal ahead. I had to ring the grooms job to find out if I was indeed, getting an interview, as well as look at maps and stuff to make sure I knew where I was going. Turns out, after a quick phone call, I was not getting an interview(they are next week, and yes, I got one) so I messaged Wild. She said she'd let me know if I was needed.
Later than I expected she called. Said get here asap. I threw on some clothes, bolted out the door. I got there five minutes after a train. What a drag. The best part of this was going to the machine to buy a coke and finding some helpful person had left $2 in the machine, so my coke was less than half price! I get to the city, I think Im doing ok.
I set off confidently in the wrong direction. Its half an hour later already on sore feet when I ask directions, go in the right direction, then, finally, get a bus. Under the kindly direction of the bus driver I make it there, already tired and sore and thinking "Jesus! How am I gonna get through this?"
Im met out the front by one of the other girls who's sick. Man, I hate that. Im tryin to be up, up UP and shes DOWN. Add to that she's critical. Trying to tell me how to do my job. I ignore her to the best of my ability and thats an awesome ability. I feel up lots of people with my glove and Im beginning to have a really good time. The glove vibrates, and you cant believe how good it feels until you try it! Our sales method involes touching anyone who goes past, massaging them throughout the speil, and 9 out of 10, they buy it. Heres our website -
http://www.xs.com.au
I learned to target older couples - The woman. All ladies who work hard appreciate the glove on their necks. Then you do the guy and get him thinking about its other possible uses, all the while using cheeky phrases such as "The Glove LOVES to get wet, goes in the bath or the shower!"
Just for my own personal fun I targeted the good looking young girls, innocently giving them a back massage while my mind went to naughty places. Some people gave me definite tingles. You know, like, even though Im engaged and Id never cheat on Kman there were people whose energy just made me think, "You and me, we'd be DYNAMITE!"
THE EMO - The little emo made me forget Kman. In my day(yeah, cos Im so old) he would have been a punk gothic, like me. His hair was jet black under a little cap. He wore a stripy punk shirt and jeans. He was utterly adorable with his dark shiny eyes and pure white skin. A bit like Kman actually, but half the size and barely 18 and no where near as experienced. He was with a friend, and since I approach from the back, he didnt see me at first. When he saw me his eyes got big and he said "thats it, Im taking you home" and looped an arm around my waist. Oh, I shuddered! The ENERGY in the little fella! So, I start rubbing him over with the glove and SMUCKY! Isnt he CUT under those clothes! The perfect snow white skin is TAUT over those ROCK HARD muscles! And as cheeky as he's being looking into my eyes, he has NO IDEA what he's getting into with me! I give him some extra rubbing, and move on to do my work, regretfully. Oh, the fun I could have with you, my dear little emo.
THE BOSS - Wild was my boss, but the big boss (we'll call him Dicky) looked like a big boss. Suit slacks, snappy shirt, like he's just come from a board meeting. Bald, tall, and bloody rock hard (do all you gods work out or what?) looking a little scary. I mean, hes the boss, right?
Until he starts taking every oppurtunity to rub me with the glove. And positioning himself behind me to watch my "Great ass!" Oh, yeah. You're a REAL scary boss aincha?
I get a lift to redfern with previously near collapse critical girl. The second we leave shes screaming out the window and partying. Hmmmn.....I get a train, I get home, alls well, day 1.
FRIDAY - Friday I left with complete confidence. I was in plenty of time for the train, I had everything I could possibly need, I was armed with maps. I get there, I find my bus stop, I make it out there in plenty of time. I even grab a burger - nothing decent at the sexpo - and almost get it stolen by a seagull! Yes, I did sit with them, yes, I did encourage them by feeding them, but if I didnt have a scavenger bird of my own, I doubt I would have had the reflexes to save my dinner! The bugger gave it two tries. Came in so close I gave his belly a stroke. I swear I can tame anything!
I enjoy my night of feeling people up and getting felt up by Dicky. Damn, he made me forget Kman a few times too! Im starting to feel a bit of terror over the next day. Its coming, and its going to be tough. But Im enjoying myself so much I barely take a break and just rub people. The glove has its own electro magnetic feild, which concentrates your own but picks up the other persons as well. TASTING energy, giving a little of my own - AH, it was a mystical experience! I cant believe I got paid to TASTE so many people, to give them a piece of my dark light. There was mystical connection there, do not doubt it! It is that very connection that helps us sell the glove.
I look over at Wild and ask the time. She says 10:30. I say shit. I was only supposed to be here till 9! The train I was aiming for was 11:08 from blacktown - that aint gonna happen now! I say Id love to stay, really would, but gotta go! Gotta get up early tomorrow!
Bolt for central station. There is a train on every goddamn platform going to hornsby, but I have to wait 25mins for a train going in my direction. I dont think thats fair. Its illegal to smoke on central station, but I go down to the end of the platform, fairly certain there are no rail gaurds, and light up. While Im there a girl going my way lights up too. I think her name was Tay. We chat. God, its like meeting an old friend! We are so connected, we talk about everything and are so involved we almost miss the train. Then we get on, fighting to find a seat together(even though all the hornsby trains were smucking empty) and we get a young fella to move his groceries so we can sit together. Groceries? At this time of night? We strike up a conversation. I tell him he looks familiar. Im sure I know you. All he says is 4 words - "I play the flute" and I yell(to the distress of others on the train) "OmiGod! Your flute guy! Who plays at the shopping centre! I LOVE YOU MAN!!" So now Flute Guy and Tay are my companions. I forgot to exchange numbers with them, so now they are once more lost in the world, dear friends whom should not have been so easily lost, but there you have it. The universe works in mysterious ways.
The three of us get into a massive debate over train availabilty. I swear there are more, They say nup. Turns out theyre right, Im wrong. I have to wait for mum and Kman to pick me up. 3 fights go on downstairs while I wait. The cops come after the sound of broken glass.
THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS - Now normally, Im wearing my most innocent face, yet spoiling for a fight. I just cant wait for smeone to misread my innocent attire and face and get the shock of their lives by the naked feral agression that lives under my skin. But tonight Im tired. I dont think I can take on a pack of rapists. So I hang out near the train gaurds, who pretend not to notice me. At one point an older guy walks past, and locks eyes with me, he slows but doesnt stop. Through our linked eyes he asks "are you ok?" I nod, I tell him, "thankyou very much for your concern. Im waiting for a lift. But thankyou so much" I feel concern like that must be rewarded. He gives me the all purpose nod, that says in this instance "Your all good" and continues on his way. Kman is there a few minutes later. It is 1am when I get home. I change my bags, repack my essential items including spare clothes as I will stay with my brother in the city the next night. I collapse in to bed, but I do not feel Ive slept......I lay there trembling, every muscle sore, nervous system hotwired, waiting for the next ordeal.......
SATURDAY - I get up at approx 5:30am. I shower, change, obsessively compulsively check everything in my bag. Then jump in the car off to the station. No trains - buses replace trains due to trackwork. Im not sure how long the trip takes or what goes on - Im drifting in and out of a coma. By some strange time warp, I make it to Milsons point before 8:30am. I ring the boss.
Shes going sailing with her man. The girl I was supposed to be training isnt coming, Im going to be alone. Trying to claw myself out of my coma, that doesnt sound too bad. I might just collapse behind the desk. I find some coffee, a bacon and egg roll, and stand in the freezing wind by the stall.
To my surprise, I cant stop myself from working. No matter how hard I try to just do nothing, I keep getting out into the crowd and offerring the competition. I never manage to put on my makeup and amuse myself by thinking how many things I could do with that simple dress thats staring at me all day.
The boss rings, she hasnt left for the Hawkesbury river yet and she's decided to come and pick up the stuff. I cant believe we're near the end. But we are. It looks like my phones going to go dflat, which is a pain. The boss arrives, we pack up. I ask if Im getting paid, Ive been counting on it. Ive only got $10 left. She says she doesnt have it, but if I come back to the car I can get a partial pay. Fine. Turns out Ive done a ton of entries, more than I thought, and I mention I might not be in on Tue(today) Because I already feel, well, like the living dead?
I go straight back to the markets after wishing her happy sailing, and buy the damn dress. What the hell, its only $10 and Im way past the point of thinking clearly. Back to central. Eat another burger, buy a deoderant that cost way too much and pound some cold and flu tablets with a coke. Put on full face of makeup, and find the relevant bus.
Dont Mess with Officer Sexy
At some point during the night Wild said she wasnt in the mood for the outfit. I agreed to give it a shot. I know, I know, I look like Im about to give someone the finger, not sell them a love glove. I told you it was a shocking photo! I think Im halfway through giving Wild Kmans number. She just had to send him a pic.....You cannot see how ridiculously short the skirt is, A strip of fabric attached to a solid leather belt that might as well not exist for the purpose it serves. Also I had my long indian style boots on, so I wouldnt mind seeing how it all looked. The cap was too big and I had a ball with it for a few hours, but eventually I got kidney chill from the short top.
Back in my long pants I was still enjoying myself by about 11pm, but I was no longer doing my job. Id just walk around touching people, forgetting entirely to tell them about the glove. I dont know when I got out of there, got a lift with one of the girls to oxford street, and to my brothers place.
It was nice to see him. Everything the same and thats comforting. I saw old Booby(Christopher, his geriatric cat) and Matthew the persian, who is the father of Sampson and Rowdy, my boys, and Tyger, Mums cat. The long lost lover of Ynatra, mums first cat. Our Sampson, when he was born, was dubbed 'mini matti' because he was so like his father, and despite the vast differences in their appearance now, Sampson really is his fathers son.
The couch is so comfortable. More comfortable than my bed. But still, Im restless and wired. Ive got so much energy jolting me. I get about 8 hours, but its broken.
Stagger to life at 10am. 2 coffees. Shower. Then find out I brought the wrong jeans and no undies. Brilliant Kleo, nice work! Put together an outfit, soak it in BO basher. Wander off downstairs ("Bye Bro!") and find a bus. Im at Sexpo, and its the final day.
SUNDAY - Im into the final stretch. My hours today are 12 midday till 7pm. The hours pass quickly as Im havin fun. Scarin the prudes, makin em jump. Getting hold of a kinky girl whos been handcuffed by her girlfriend for "being naughty" and giving her an extra long rub. Its after 4pm when Wild asks about my break. I say I havnt had one. Theres a bit of contention. Everyone wants their 10min smoko and ther half hour dinner, but it isnt working out fairly. I say as long as I get paid in time to shop around a bit myself Im all good. I get a 10min smoko. I tell her I'll work later if needed. The other girls are arguing about their dinner break again. I dont blame them really. Its been a long haul. But thats why theres confusion - no ones quite sure what theyre doing!
I make an executive descision. I go to Wild. I say look, I'll work until 7:30pm, no break. I'll just do it straight through. That way the others get their break now, and I get time for a wander after I get paid. Wild seems slightly incredulous. "You'd do that? You're ok? You dont want a break?" Nope. Sweet.
Workin hard and into it. Im not too sure how long I could have gone on for, as I said, I was highly enjoying myself. The glove makes everyone feel good. Its not a hard job. Still, I kept and eye on the time and was ready to finish at 7:30. Wild pays me for my hours, gives me A BRAND NEW STILL IN THE PACKAGING Glove, and then a bonus. ALRIGHT!!
I have a wander and see handcuffs for only $10. YES! I buy them. Then see a corset set for only $19.95. Hmmn. Better eat first. I havnt eaten yet today. I'll need to top up the tank before I make rash descisions. So, two greasy kebabs with wedges. Then I buy myself a vodka twist, skull it before I leave the bar area, and stagger back out into sexpo. Turns out the nice cheap corset set is a size 16. At first I think, "Yeah, thats perfect!" and then I remember......I ask the stall owners opinion. She goes "yeah, yeah, it'll fit, just draw it REAL tight" I lift my jacket. "Im a standard 8 honey" Her face falls "Oh. I see. I might have sme 8's in here"
Nope. Go back to the stall. Dicky gives me a rub and a long face "i'll never see you again!" He mock sobs. So I give him my number. I show Wild my cuffs. She says she must have. 2 pairs. Could I?.... Sure love. So I run down and get Wilds cuffs. Im now running super late so I give everyone a big kiss and hug and go.
Oh dear lord. The bus stop is full of people Ive recently gloved. On Thurs night we met some on the way out we'd touched, but they didnt recognise me without the glove. These guys do. Oh, boy. Now theyre all trying to pick me up......
I make it to central in one piece, and get a train in a few minutes. The vodka is hitting me hard and I try and get a bus home. Only blacktown. Fine, close enough. Once there the gaurd sees my 'exhibitor' badge and asks what Ive been up to at sexpo, so we get chatting. Eventually I get the home bus and listen to what used to be 'bedrooms to boardrooms' on mix. Im not sure what its called now, but its a pretty entertaining counselling show. People have the most smucked up lives, and they want to share it on radio. Im so into it I almost miss my stop - no excuses on a bus!
Mum and Kman pick me up. They inform me Zayfir is not wearing his rug because he 'attacked' them. Hmm. I got straight out and put it on, and the only untoward thing that happens is him flopping out the equipment to get a free feel while Im doing up his leg straps. Then Najara tries to rape me. Picking up on my last few days of energy much?
I do mums back. One of the greatest things about working at sexpo was PISSING HER OFF! Kman says that over the entire few days she never once said 'sexpo' always 'that place' what a classic. Love it. But two seconds with the glove and she was SOLD! Everyone is.
Then, while Kman was doing my back the boy cats came in. Najaras not scared of it, Zee Zee mush isnt scared of it, but the boys! Ive never seen them act like that before! So fascinated, and yet so afraid. Is it alive? How can it be killed? Classic also. They are still working it out.
So thats it. Despite the cold today the animals and my bones tell me spring is in the air. I barely prevented Zayfir from breeding the mare next door through the wire. Im sure that would have been an experience......
BTW, said mare has been found to be FAT under the rug. See why you dont judge people too quickly or harshly? She may well have been sick.
I cant quite believe its over, that I had so much fun and got paid for it, that I didnt die as the chest pains got from hellish to demonish, and that throughout it all my reflexive smile managed to stay on my face and make me more than I am. So, I'll recover heartily, as life calls, going for an interview for the grooms job next week. It all happens at once, thats for sure!
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Comment by David
Without you arresting me, Officer Kleonaptra? (It's a great pic. Stop stressing, okay?)
I''m really glad you and Wild got on, and you got a bit of paid fun work. Wild's great value.
But hey, where's the pics of Wild in uniform? That's what I want to know.
Actually, forget it. I've seen her out of uniform.
David ...
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
...what a read. Fantastic!
Kleo...you look hot...
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
It became a slight competition. I thought SHE looked best in the uniform, she thought I did!
Wild and I getting on is about the understatement of the year.....I already know her. It was like seeing someone I havnt seen in a long time.
Have you felt the wire in her arm? And her knees? Thats some smucked up shit. I thought my double knuckle was scary!
Its kinda funny, the officer joke....The grooms job Im going for is with the police force!
Dusk dear,
Thankyou....*blush* I just think the expression on my face is less than perfect, but I wasnt really with it either. It was like being on drugs without all the nice 'pep me up effects'
Ive been giving you my vote darlin, just dont always have time to comment....
Comment by Miss Nomer
Comment by Ash
Flashes of memories
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Thanks darlin! You're another one I always vote for....Wish I had time to comment like I used to!
Ash,
Yep, and Im gettin a rest now but I'll be busy again soon....Its not bad!
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
What a WILD weekend!
One to remember... and no arrests either, well done.
Am getting to the dream zone for you soon, sweetie..boats are such good fun!
Lilla ...
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Great to see you! It was a Wild weekend indeed....
Pity there was only the memory of the boat in the dream.....Thanks for your continued open ear Lilla love.